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Default Day 150. Job 28-30 - 05-30-2008, 05:37 PM

Job 28-30

Today we get:
  • Job talks about how great God is
  • Job talks about how great he (Job) used to be
  • Job bitches about his predicament

Friends, today I'm going to start out a little different (in fact, I don't think we've had a video yet). So watch this, and think about it in the context of what we've read so far in Job.

It's entitled "Thank God I"

For more on the "Thank God I" program visit their website.

Job 28

1 Surely there is a vein for the silver, and a place for gold where they fine it.

This is a continuation of Job 27 where he was talking about God's judgment.

Fine=refine, you may have been tempted to read "where they find it" but he means basically refine.

2 Iron is taken out of the earth, and brass is molten out of the stone.

In the middle east, the Bronze age was from 3300-1200 BC. The iron age was from 1300-600 BC. Remember, the story of Job takes place BEFORE 1300 BC, which should be squarely in the bronze age, but Job is talking about iron, BEFORE they were using iron. Once again, the Bible is ahead of it's time!

12 But where shall wisdom be found? and where is the place of understanding?

I don't hear Job saying "Thank God I was raped" do you?

16 It cannot be valued with the gold of Ophir, with the precious onyx, or the sapphire.

Remember, Ophir is a place that we don't know where it is. It's sort of like Atlantis. Some people think they know where they are talking about, but they are wrong. Ophir has disappeared just as Eden has.

23 God understandeth the way thereof, and he knoweth the place thereof.

It's about time Job starts mentioning how great God is.

28 And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the LORD, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

Fear of the LORD is wisdom! As Solomon was the "wisest" man, he probably crapped his pants when thinking about the LORD.

Job 29

Job continues his rambling parable.

2 Oh that I were as in months past, as in the days when God preserved me;

I don't hear Job saying "Thank God I had an abortion" do you?

3 When his candle shined upon my head, and when by his light I walked through darkness;

Job's going back to the footprints in the sand analogy.

5 When the Almighty was yet with me, when my children were about me;

Before God allowed Satan to kill his children. "Thank God he allowed my children to die".

8 The young men saw me, and hid themselves: and the aged arose, and stood up.

Kids hid because they couldn't present themselves as they were unclean. Elders respected him.

14 I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: my judgment was as a robe and a diadem.

A diadem is a sort of a crown, like a tiara or a ribbon with an ornament or jewel.

15 I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame.

Job was charitable.

17 And I brake the jaws of the wicked, and plucked the spoil out of his teeth.

If you were bad, Job would punch you in the mouff and take your gold teefs.

18 Then I said, I shall die in my nest, and I shall multiply my days as the sand.

Job had a nice little retirement nest egg. He planned to just spend his old age years on the beach.

21 Unto me men gave ear, and waited, and kept silence at my counsel.

Job was a leader of men.

25 I chose out their way, and sat chief, and dwelt as a king in the army, as one that comforteth the mourners.

Job was the greatest of the great. Job would have been like Donald Trump; Bill Gates; Warren Buffet... all in one.

Job 30

1 But now they that are younger than I have me in derision, whose fathers I would have disdained to have set with the dogs of my flock.

There's always that big BUT.

"Thank God I had a stroke"

Job goes on and talks about losers.

4 Who cut up mallows by the bushes, and juniper roots for their meat.

Mallows are an edible type of plant. "Juniper roots" were probably Maltese Mushrooms, or Cynomorium coccineum. Which was an edible parasitic plant that grew on the roots of other plants. If you are starving, it would make a good enough meal.

8 They were children of fools, yea, children of base men: they were viler than the earth.

Job didn't like them. Base men... those are guys who tell poop jokes.

9 And now am I their song, yea, I am their byword.

Now, the lowest of the low mock Job.

"Thank God I Have AIDS"

11 Because he hath loosed my cord, and afflicted me, they have also let loose the bridle before me.

"Thank God I was Sexually Molested"

15 Terrors are turned upon me: they pursue my soul as the wind: and my welfare passeth away as a cloud.

"Thank God I was Rejected"

20 I cry unto thee, and thou dost not hear me: I stand up, and thou regardest me not.

Job's a bitchy man.

26 When I looked for good, then evil came unto me: and when I waited for light, there came darkness.

Job's waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.

31 My harp also is turned to mourning, and my organ into the voice of them that weep.

We had already discussed how Job has invented the organ hundreds or thousands of years early.

So what have we learned today?

1. Thank God I was raped. Next time a bad thing happens in your life, take the time to thank the LORD for the learning experience. If you can say "Thank God I was raped" then getting fired shouldn't be too much of a problem.

2. Job used to beat up hoodlums and return the gold teeth to the ladies who's purses they stole.

3. Poor people in old times were vegetarians, who ate whatever bushes they could find.


Judges 9:21 And Jotham ran away, and fled, and went to Beer, and dwelt there, for fear of Abimelech his brother.
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