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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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opinely homer (Quarantined) opinely homer is offline
Unsaved and Demonically Inspired Trash.
An abomination before the Lord -- boasts of indulging in unatural affections.
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
 
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opinely homer is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 02:19 PM

...meant in the nice way.

No secrets. I am a homer
and a pundit.
There is no Je--- in my life; don't know how to live hole, not yet.

Perhaps, if I could participate here, someone good will rub off on me.

About me:

I'm a superficially nice guy, and have lived celibate for many
hours. No STDS for over 14 weeks.

You Landovers are such kind people;
by your helps I might improve myself. Am sure
I can become a credit to my race.
How can I prove my sincerity? May I
entrap a priest for y'all?

One problem:
I'm not quite ready to accept Je--- yet;
perhaps in time, when I learn more and begin to feel, what?
Does it feel like a tingle? Or is is a creeping sensation?

I am unsaved. Perhaps I can't be saved. But you and I can try
to love the sinner. Which reminds me, I like sailors; have a joke to that effect, for another time.

Thanks gentle poeple!

o.h. me




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Cure all personal frictions with Christ and Crisco
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eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
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Default Re: hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 02:26 PM

certainly. We welcome all those seeking Christ. But you cannot find Christ if you're "that way". You have to go straight to go to Paradise!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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opinely homer (Quarantined) opinely homer is offline
Unsaved and Demonically Inspired Trash.
An abomination before the Lord -- boasts of indulging in unatural affections.
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
 
Posts: 3
Join Date: Nov 2006
opinely homer is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 02:30 PM

But they firebombed Paradise last Octember. I've been looking for Christ since then. I can tell you only this: He's not at Thirteen Buttons.

Q: What does it feel like when we let Christ enter us?

Curious, yellow,

o.h. me
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eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
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Default Re: hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 02:33 PM

Since you've came here to mock us, I put you on probation.


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Default Re: hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 04:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Since you've came here to mock us, I put you on probation.
Really, it is no wonder that the Lord describes these people as an "Abomination". Bitter, mocking, nasty, and catty -- typical of those who give themselves over to the great sin of indulgence in unatural affections. They must live such unhappy lives, and with an eternity of Hell Fire in front of them!

Let us praise the Lord Brother, that we are of the elite -- the Lord's anointed, and not poor lost souls like our sad friend here.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 04:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by opinely homer View Post
Curious, yellow,
Argh! Brothers and Sisters, I am shocked to find we appear to have a Swede in our midst! Would it be too excessive to suggest putting the whole of Freehold onto Spicy Orange alert until this Scandomenace is contained?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Enobarbus Enobarbus is offline
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Enobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureEnobarbus has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: hello, may I hang here?.. - 11-06-2006, 04:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Argh! Brothers and Sisters, I am shocked to find we appear to have a Swede in our midst! Would it be too excessive to suggest putting the whole of Freehold onto Spicy Orange alert until this Scandomenace is contained?
Fortunately Brother Eliot was on hand -- the Lord protects his own -- when this sad creature attempted to breach our defenses, and with great alacrity clapped it straight into Quarantine.

Brother Eliot quickly donned his homer arresting rubber suit so will not need to undergo more than a routine disinfection.

Still, in case it has friends that are still at large Pastor Pistle has put all of freehold on a spicy Orange alert.


Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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