Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

**Nobar King** · 03-09-2010, 08:16 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

I hope your left shoe can afford to pay its fine for littering ($50). BTW, I'd like to point out that I am in no way related to the Mr. King who is running for mayor of Freehold. OK?? Stop asking me that, already. I'm getting really tired of it. I know it's a joke, but It's not making me happy.

**John Scopes** · 03-09-2010, 08:23 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

When I in Freehold last spring, it rained, and one of my shoes -- My Left Shoe -- got stuck in the mud.

Mr. Nobar King just informed me that he has retrieved My Left Shoe. It's not in very good shape, but it is intact . . . tongue and all.

My Left Shoe has been in Freehold for a year now, and qualifies under the current ordinance to run for Mayor. After all, if a shoeshine boy can run, why not a shoe?

My Left Shoe is putting forth the following platform:

Equality for all!
End to True Christian superiority!
A fried chicken on every table, and a city-maintained watermelon patch in every yard . . . FREE!!
Removal of all Landover Baptist Church leaders and their family members from political office!
Animal welfare measures, including the trial of Landover's Pastors for crimes against servants, Unsaved Trash, and other humanoid creatures!
Minimum wage laws, requiring servants to be paid at least $10/hour plus health insurance!
Conversion of the Church to a nightclub with female impersonator shows on Fridays, hip-hop music on Saturdays, and technodance music on Sunday afternoons!
Transformation of the Church's Pastoral Fitness Center into a gay bathhouse!

My Left Shoe looks forward to demonstrating to all of Freehold what a true progressive looks like, compared to that poseur Al King . . . if that is his REAL name!

Contribute to My Left Shoe's campaign today!

My Left Shoe: A Mayor with Sole!

An interesting development, your shoe is almost the most rational candidate so far. Do you have any idea what it's ancestry might be ?

**Brother Enoch** · 03-09-2010, 09:20 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

I unequivocally cast my full support behind Rev. Rodimer's left shoe! Not only would your left shoe make an excellent mayor, it could easily replace America's current 'President'. And would do far less damage to America and the world. Left shoe for MAYOR!

Edit: I wish your right shoe was running, that would be even better. Ah, well, in a perfect world...

**Ezekiel Bathfire** · 03-09-2010, 09:34 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

LBC Hospital residential psychiatric department is solidly behind this candidature. I am informed if they remember what day it is, and who you are, you are assured of big "X"s in green crayola. (Mr King's candidature has had a deleterious effect on many patients already.)

**Wide-Open** · 03-09-2010, 10:10 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

I can already smell your candicacy BBQ!

**Rev. M. Rodimer** · 03-09-2010, 10:24 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Nobar King View Post

I hope your left shoe can afford to pay its fine for littering ($50).

Mr. King, My Left Shoe extends its deepest gratitude for your desire to help enable its Mayoral campaign by taking care of that little matter! Bless you, good sir, for your generosity!

Originally posted by John Scopes View Post

An interesting development, your shoe is almost the most rational candidate so far. Do you have any idea what it's ancestry might be ?

According to My Right Shoe (which made it back to Indiana with me), they were both made in Cape Girardeau, Missouri by Cape Shoes. Unfortunately, they are now orphans, as Cape Shoes closed in 2005.

My Left Shoe asks that people respect its pain and not bring up its family tragedy.

Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post

I unequivocally cast my full support behind Rev. Rodimer's left shoe! Not only would your left shoe make an excellent mayor, it could easily replace America's current 'President'. And would do far less damage to America and the world. Left shoe for MAYOR!

Edit: I wish your right shoe was running, that would be even better. Ah, well, in a perfect world...

My Left Shoe believes that it is important to gain substantial executive experience before running for an office like that of President. This is why My Left Shoe is seeking the executive office of Mayor instead of, say, running for Senate.

Originally posted by Wide-Open View Post

I can already smell your candicacy BBQ!

My Left Shoe does need to schedule that with Mistress Cookie. It wonders if you would be offended if it were to offer a Porkgasm to the citizens of Freehold?

**Nobar King** · 03-09-2010, 10:51 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

Mr. King, My Left Shoe extends its deepest gratitude for your desire to help enable its Mayoral campaign by taking care of that little matter! Bless you, good sir, for your generosity!

I don't know what you're talking about. That's $50 that you're responsible for. I'm not paying your fines for you.

**Rev. M. Rodimer** · 03-09-2010, 10:52 PM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Nobar King View Post

I don't know what you're talking about. That's $50 that you're responsible for. I'm not paying your fines for you.

My Left Shoe is surely not responsible for paying any fine. It was abducted by the mud and held captive until you bravely rescued it.

Thank you, good sir! My Left Shoe will reward your kindness once it becomes Mayor!

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 03-10-2010, 12:08 AM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

And people say that we Christians have no sense of humor.

I guess if a queer and a spook can run for mayor, a shoe can too!

**James Hutchins** · 03-10-2010, 01:09 AM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Your Left Shoe has no Sole.

**Alfred King** · 03-10-2010, 07:50 AM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

My Left Shoe has been in Freehold for a year now, and qualifies under the current ordinance to run for Mayor.

Thank you for bringing some great humor to this race!

**Cranky Old Man** · 03-10-2010, 07:51 AM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post

Your Left Shoe has no Sole.

Since when is having a soul required in politics?

**Brother Enoch** · 03-10-2010, 07:54 AM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Alfred King View Post

Thank you for bringing some great humor to this race!

Far better than the dark humor you bring.

**Wide-Open** · 03-10-2010, 09:41 AM

Re: Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

My Left Shoe does need to schedule that with Mistress Cookie. It wonders if you would be offended if it were to offer a Porkgasm to the citizens of Freehold?

Feel free Reverend! I'm sure God would want the Freehold community to get a taste of pork heaven!

Announcing Candidacy of My Left Shoe

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