Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pastor Z

[TC Patriot]

The wife was Satan proofing the house when she came across Sara's Bible. Sara like all the kids love their youth minister Pastor Zeke but Sara's thoughts about our Godly Pastor Zeke were vile and lustful. I was shocked and livid. My youngest, Lydia, tried to defend her older sister by saying that Pastor Zeke was "such a dreamboat". Needless to say I wore out a hickory switch on the two of them.

I cannot bring myself to repeat the lustful things Sara wrote about our youth pastor. I have switched her bare bottom everyday and she has knelt on rise for 2 hours every day in the prayer closet.

I am considering having our neighbor rape the devil out of her or should I do it myself?

Any suggestions?

[MizoOfOz]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

You should do it yourself. That way you make sure the job is done right.

[George Nelson]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

There's only one way to make sure the job is done right. I mean, you wouldn't want to harm your daughter too much.

Besides, you can't trust anyone except old number one.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

TC,

I for one think that your daughter should be sent to Rev. Jim forthwith!

I didn't say Pastor Ezekiel, as that would only buy into her desires and apparent wanton lusts over him. I know that Rev. Jim would be able to help in this situation as many a girl I have referred to him, have just gushed at his wonderful hands on approach to fighting the lustful demons deep inside them.

After a few sessions with Rev Jim, I can guarantee that it will not be Pastor Ezekiel's name filling the pages of her diary, but rather, how the love of Jesus (through Rev Jim) fills her completely.

YIC

Mrs Phebe Dewitt.

[Annie1]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

If she is possessed by demons of lust Dr. Manning may be able to help too.

[Dionysos]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

I am considering having our neighbor rape the devil out of her or should I do it myself?

Any suggestions?

Forgive me for my ignorance, Mr. TC Patriot, but which scripture says it’s okay to have someone rape your daughter or doing it yourself?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

The wife was Satan proofing the house when she came across Sara's Bible. Sara like all the kids love their youth minister Pastor Zeke but Sara's thoughts about our Godly Pastor Zeke were vile and lustful. I was shocked and livid. My youngest, Lydia, tried to defend her older sister by saying that Pastor Zeke was "such a dreamboat". Needless to say I wore out a hickory switch on the two of them.

I cannot bring myself to repeat the lustful things Sara wrote about our youth pastor. I have switched her bare bottom everyday and she has knelt on rise for 2 hours every day in the prayer closet.

Has she been reading SLUT magazine? Maybe she misunderstood Pastor Zeke's photo shoot as something other than what True Christian(tm) men should aspire to.

I am considering having our neighbor rape the devil out of her or should I do it myself?

Any suggestions?

Brother, I certainly hope you meant "beat"!

If you meant "rape", I am curious: How would you feel if I were to, say, stand on your front lawn and tear the pages from a Qur'an one by one, burning them on a fire built of dried homosexual dung?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

Yea, I'm used to this by now. Why I've even heard that there are entire websites set up around the internets whose sole purpose is to worship and adore me. Most of them are run by sodomites who want to commit sodomy with me.

Such is the price of fame.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

Yea, I'm used to this by now. Why I've even heard that there are entire websites set up around the internets whose sole purpose is to worship and adore me. Most of them are run by sodomites who want to commit sodomy with me.

Such is the price of fame.

Sadly, people are even going so far as photoshopping Zeke's face on gay pornography. During one of our G.A.P.E. investigations, Brother Roy Brown was on his computer and stumbled across a series of photos of "Zeke" engaged in sodomy with a young Southeast Asian man. Roy is a master of photoshop (his work can be found at 1000words.com) and he remarked how perfect of a shop job the pictures were, since he could find zero evidence of the photos being manipulated!

The hoaxers were very meticulous in detail, even somehow having the sex acts photographed in what appears to be Zeke's very own bedroom and also indoor spa. Heck, they even went so far as to make a 5 minute video and somehow digitally superimpose Zeke's face on the body. I mean, it looks so real...if you didn't know any better, you would swear on the Bible that the photos and video were completely real.

It's just sad to see Pastor Zeke's pure reputation get tarnished by perverted practical jokers.

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

I am considering having our neighbor rape the devil out of her or should I do it myself?

Any suggestions?

Just be aware that she will need to marry her rapist, so you will need to select someone that you approve of. If your neighbor does not it the bill, I'd suggest widening your search, or perhaps holding tryouts.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

Just be aware that she will need to marry her rapist, so you will need to select someone that you approve of. If your neighbor does not it the bill, I'd suggest widening your search, or perhaps holding tryouts.

Indeed, GOD commands it.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29
If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

I really like the idea of try-outs. You need to have obstacles that homers and fluffy bunny Christians all fail at. Oh, and also you want someone able to give you the 50 shekels, so no losers on state benefits.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

I am considering having our neighbor rape the devil out of her or should I do it myself?

Any suggestions?

I would suggest you get a woman to do it so nothing perverted happens. For my housekeepers I pay this nice lady from Des Moines named Madam Zara who swears up and down this if you give her and hour alone with another woman that women will never thing of a guy again.

I hope this helps.

[handmaiden]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

Sadly, people are even going so far as photoshopping Zeke's face on gay pornography. During one of our G.A.P.E. investigations, Brother Roy Brown was on his computer and stumbled across a series of photos of "Zeke" engaged in sodomy with a young Southeast Asian man. Roy is a master of photoshop (his work can be found at 1000words.com) and he remarked how perfect of a shop job the pictures were, since he could find zero evidence of the photos being manipulated!

The hoaxers were very meticulous in detail, even somehow having the sex acts photographed in what appears to be Zeke's very own bedroom and also indoor spa. Heck, they even went so far as to make a 5 minute video and somehow digitally superimpose Zeke's face on the body. I mean, it looks so real...if you didn't know any better, you would swear on the Bible that the photos and video were completely real.

It's just sad to see Pastor Zeke's pure reputation get tarnished by perverted practical jokers.

You see!? This is why you must ONLY rely on the Holy Bible for truth. You can't photoshop the Bible.


Firmly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Pasterfarian Skank]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

Just be aware that she will need to marry her rapist, so you will need to select someone that you approve of. If your neighbor does not it the bill, I'd suggest widening your search, or perhaps holding tryouts.

Brother Bathfire will have you on the mat if he sees that. Please don't end sentences with prepositions!

Remember that you must write such sentences like this:

"... you will need to select someone of whom you approve".

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Daughter Sara Writing Lustful Things In Her Diary About Pasto

This is a website about Jesus, not grammar.