[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Care for some company? You might need someone to fight off the slants, you do know what they do to white females don't you?

Thank you for your very kind offer, Brother Diamond. I am feeling this is a trip I must make alone, however. You men are needed here in Landover in case the Yellow Threat spreads here, and more coolie kidnappings occur.

Do you have time today to look under the hood of my car, though? (I'm using the maroon one in the garage to get to the airport.) I want to make sure it's in tip-top shape, so there's no delay tomorrow. I'll be out running last minute errands (hairdresser, etc.) but the key is under the stone cupid.

Thank you, good brother.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Sister Cookie, you might have noticed that I wrote "packets of my investment grade diamonds which have been appraised at well over $170,000." These packets are sealed and stamped by the gemologists and are numbered. The appraisal bears the packet number and is accompanied by a high resolution, macro focus picture of the packet with gemstones. Their value would plummet should you open the packet. I'm not sure how you would grade them without opening the packets. I have the utmost faith in the certificates of appraisal that come with each packet.

Brother, the gems would have to be broken up anyway to bribe border-crossing guards. And the coolies won't care about what's written on them, they'll just be blinded by the "bling". (Besides which, people over there don't read English, anyway.)

I can reseal the packets with a hairdryer, if you're really worried about it.

[Bible Student]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Originally Posted by Bible Student
Sister Cookie, you might have noticed that I wrote "packets of my investment grade diamonds which have been appraised at well over $170,000." These packets are sealed and stamped by the gemologists and are numbered. The appraisal bears the packet number and is accompanied by a high resolution, macro focus picture of the packet with gemstones. Their value would plummet should you open the packet. I'm not sure how you would grade them without opening the packets. I have the utmost faith in the certificates of appraisal that come with each packet.

Brother, the gems would have to be broken up anyway to bribe border-crossing guards. And the coolies won't care about what's written on them, they'll just be blinded by the "bling". (Besides which, people over there don't read English, anyway.)

I can reseal the packets with a hairdryer, if you're really worried about it.

I had imagined that the packets would be sold here in the States (CA, FL, AZ, OK and NV) for good old American greenbacks. American money works much better with the slants anyway. For the incidental bribe I have loose gemstones and real earrings and pendants with 18 carat gold and high quality gemstones in jewelry cases.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

I had imagined that the packets would be sold here in the States (CA, FL, AZ, OK and NV) for good old American greenbacks. American money works much better with the slants anyway. For the incidental bribe I have loose gemstones and real earrings and pendants with 18 carat gold and high quality gemstones in jewelry cases.

Look....I'm tying up loose ends and preparing for flight tomorrow. If you want to donate some of your "fabulous" gems to The Cause, fine. I'm sure Brother James will appreciate it and reimburse you IF HE'S STILL ALIVE.

Just leave whatever you want in the guesthouse and I'll mail a receipt from the airport.

I'm sorry to be short with you, but there's still lots to do and I don't see anyone really offering to help in any way. Just do what you think's best and that you can LIVE with, and I'll talk to you all later.

[James Dewitt]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Mistress Cookie are you coming to see me? I hope so, pack for cold weather and the nights are long. Not that I dont want you to come see me just be prepared. The nights can be brutal almost lethal, some say that theyare killing machines. Is Brother Hutchins accompanying you? The nice monks try and teach me the way of Buddha every day, they are frustrated that I am a slow learner. They say that if I accept Buddha I can the learn martial arts. Travel safe, may Buddha watch over you.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Mistress Cookie are you coming to see me? I hope so, pack for cold weather and the nights are long. Not that I dont want you to come see me just be prepared. The nights can be brutal almost lethal, some say that theyare killing machines. Is Brother Hutchins accompanying you? The nice monks try and teach me the way of Buddha every day, they are frustrated that I am a slow learner. They say that if I accept Buddha I can the learn martial arts. Travel safe, may Buddha watch over you.

James!

It is so good to hear from you! I have been very worried.

Yes, I am coming to "visit" you. Tell me, do they allow tourist tours of the monestary? Is there a floor plan anywhere?

I will talk to you later but I don't think anyone from the DeWitt Corp Enterprises should accompany me. Have you heard from Lycia??

Please try to rest and "build up your strength". Be very careful about what they're feeding you, but don't put up noticeable resistance, either. The more I read about the "coolies" the more frightened I am. I'm flying out of Des Moines International tomorrow, early afternoon. More later. I don't have the complete itinerary yet. But I think Thursday, LATE, is when I'll be there.

Are there guard dogs? What are the tour times Thursday and Friday?

Say your prayers, Jim...and stay strong. You will be home, safe and sound, in no time.

EDIT: Did you notice what length hemlines they're wearing in this "Zhengzhou City" area this time of year? I might be able to restitch mine inflight. I don't want to stand out in any way.

[Bible Student]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Originally Posted by Bible Student
I had imagined that the packets would be sold here in the States (CA, FL, AZ, OK and NV) for good old American greenbacks. American money works much better with the slants anyway. For the incidental bribe I have loose gemstones and real earrings and pendants with 18 carat gold and high quality gemstones in jewelry cases.

Look....I'm tying up loose ends and preparing for flight tomorrow. If you want to donate some of your "fabulous" gems to The Cause, fine. I'm sure Brother James will appreciate it and reimburse you IF HE'S STILL ALIVE.

Just leave whatever you want in the guesthouse and I'll mail a receipt from the airport.

I'm sorry to be short with you, but there's still lots to do and I don't see anyone really offering to help in any way. Just do what you think's best and that you can LIVE with, and I'll talk to you all later.

Sister Cookie, did you notice the present accommodations of the two gemologists who appraised the packets and their reason for residing there?
I urge you once again to consider letting Brother James Hutchins liquidate the gemstones as is, as he can get more for them with the certification documents.

In the meantime if you insist on wasting them for a triffling of their value, I will see who might be available to hand deliver the packets to Freehold and into your hands. It is best to avoid using the USPS for this transaction if you know what I mean.

[James Dewitt]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

James!

It is so good to hear from you! I have been very worried.

Yes, I am coming to "visit" you. Tell me, do they allow tourist tours of the monestary? Is there a floor plan anywhere?

I will talk to you later but I don't think anyone from the DeWitt Corp Enterprises should accompany me. Have you heard from Lycia??

Please try to rest and "build up your strength". Be very careful about what they're feeding you, but don't put up noticeable resistance, either. The more I read about the "coolies" the more frightened I am. I'm flying out of Des Moines International tomorrow, early afternoon. More later. I don't have the complete itinerary yet. But I think Thursday, LATE, is when I'll be there.

Are there guard dogs? What are the tour times Thursday and Friday?

Say your prayers, Jim...and stay strong. You will be home, safe and sound, in no time.

EDIT: Did you notice what length hemlines they're wearing in this "Zhengzhou City" area this time of year? I might be able to restitch mine inflight. I don't want to stand out in any way.

I have not seen many ladies, the men all wear long robes so I guess the ladies must too. I have not seen many dogs running around, there was a nice one but I might have had him for dinner yesterday. Lycia is working under Rev Jim, she has not spoken to me in weeks. The man you want to see is called Won Hung Lo, he is the main monk. Not a Christian at all. I have to go they are comming down the walk way to my room. I think they are looking for a missing laptop.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

I have not seen many ladies, the men all wear long robes so I guess the ladies must too. I have not seen many dogs running around, there was a nice one but I might have had him for dinner yesterday. Lycia is working under Rev Jim, she has not spoken to me in weeks. The man you want to see is called Won Hung Lo, he is the main monk. Not a Christian at all. I have to go they are comming down the walk way to my room. I think they are looking for a missing laptop.

I understand.

I am bringing jewelry with me of my own...some of the pieces you even gave me yourself. Don't worry. I haven't been up against much yet I couldn't make work if I really really tried. It might take a little time to find Zhengzhou I think it's up in the mountains. Which reminds me I should pack some walking shoes.

Are there rickshaws there? Did they get you up there on a goat or something?

Please please don't overtax you're brain, you don't sound like yourself, and we;ll need both our faculties.. And don't tell Mr. Hung Low I'm coming, the surprise element might work best. Act normally. Even if they God™ forbid do put a dog in front of you go ahead and eat it. I know, I know. Well, let me think about that one.

Actually, also, maybe act very weak so they don't think you're a flight risk, or need watching.

Try to sleep well, my friend. Don't worry. More later.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Brothers and sisters in Landover, A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!

I set out for the airport today bright and early, when once I began to accelerate on Mission Road, the car sped up out of control! My knee got bruised!

No matter how hard I slammed on the brakes the car kept going faster and faster and was careening out of control. When I approached the turn at Pilot's Point I had to crash into Widow Nonni's flower stall to stop it. (Luckily she was haggling with some car she'd thrown herself in front of and was trying to thrust some day-old flowers through the window while trying to clean the windshield at the same time, so she wasn't in it.)

I was able to drag my suitcase from the wreckage and made it to Keller's Cellar, where I am having a bit of brandy for medicinal purposes (the knee).

Brother Diamond, did you check out the engine yesterday as I asked??? Did you notice anything that could account for this??? There's a trucker here who keeps offering me a ride but is there anyone from the Church who can pick me up and get me to Des Moines?

I am so shaken!

Please answer at once, if anyone reads this!

[Bible Student]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Brothers and sisters in Landover, A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!

I set out for the airport today bright and early, when once I began to accelerate on Mission Road, the car sped up out of control! My knee got bruised!

No matter how hard I slammed on the brakes the car kept going faster and faster and was careening out of control. When I approached the turn at Pilot's Point I had to crash into Widow Nonni's flower stall to stop it. (Luckily she was haggling with some car she'd thrown herself in front of and was trying to thrust some day-old flowers through the window while trying to clean the windshield at the same time, so she wasn't in it.)

I was able to drag my suitcase from the wreckage and made it to Keller's Cellar, where I am having a bit of brandy for medicinal purposes (the knee).

Brother Diamond, did you check out the engine yesterday as I asked??? Did you notice anything that could account for this??? There's a trucker here who keeps offering me a ride but is there anyone from the Church who can pick me up and get me to Des Moines?

I am so shaken!

Please answer at once, if anyone reads this!

Oh my goodness Sister Cookie. That is terrible news. Might I suggest Benedictine's B&B for that knee. Four or five drinks should numb the pain. I know you were rushed to get to the airport but did you happen to notice any suspicious looking slants in your neighborhood recently? I do not believe in coincidences like this. Perhaps someone who blends in is an agent of the slants, and they do not want you to see how Brother James is being abused. I do not think for one second his communications have been written freely. I smell coercion.

Sam Diamond must positively get on this case.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

did you happen to notice any suspicious looking slants in your neighborhood recently? I do not believe in coincidences like this. Perhaps someone who blends in is an agent of the slants, and they do not want you to see how Brother James is being abused...Sam Diamond must positively get on this case.

Thank you, Brother Student. I wish you were here in Landover! I let some of the gentlemen here buy me more brandy for my knee as you suggested, but if no one from the church shows up I will have to accept a ride from one of them.

Oh god a fistfight just broke out

have to go

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Thank you, Brother Student. I wish you were here in Landover! I let some of the gentlemen here buy me more brandy for my knee as you suggested, but if no one from the church shows up I will have to accept a ride from one of them.

Oh god a fistfight just broke out…

An overseas holiday would be a good idea I think - get away from all that oriental ninja infiltration for a bit!

. Sydney perhaps?



“Once in Australia there could be a temporary diplomatic assignment available - apparently we have strong(ish) links with China for some reason. I'm not sure how easily that might be arranged at short notice, but I've learned 1 or 2 little tricks over the years which have been rather helpful in delicate matters involving .. well, let's just say I do love that suitcase with the bow!”

. Or Perth?

[Bible Student]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.

Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie
Thank you, Brother Student. I wish you were here in Landover! I let some of the gentlemen here buy me more brandy for my knee as you suggested, but if no one from the church shows up I will have to accept a ride from one of them.

Oh god a fistfight just broke out…

An overseas holiday would be a good idea I think - get away from all that oriental ninja infiltration for a bit!

. Sydney perhaps?



“Once in Australia there could be a temporary diplomatic assignment available - apparently we have strong(ish) links with China for some reason. I'm not sure how easily that might be arranged at short notice, but I've learned 1 or 2 little tricks over the years which have been rather helpful in delicate matters involving .. well, let's just say I do love that suitcase with the bow!”

. Or Perth?

That might be an excellent idea. Sister Cookie, through diplomatic channels, might get to China via the back door, so to speak. You wouldn't happen to know what Australian diplomat's qualifications might be, would you?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: I am going to a retreat for a couple of weeks.



Thank you for the kind words, Mitz. Yes I am trying to get overseas but it's proving harder than I hought. I'm in airport now, missed my flight first because the trucker tried to pull into an airport hotel and I had to dive out of his "rig". I landed on my suitcase, which first seemed good...then it went shooting down an incline like a sled and into a ditch with me on it. Stockings ruined

Then when I hobbled to airport and in customs they looked at a list and put me in a room where they started asking about stolen gems (?), Where was I going, Why &etc. &etc. till I thought my head was going to fall off and die. They ripped through my bag and then..kept searching me. It was so bad. And every time I thought Thank God This Is Over a "superior" would come in and start all over again! All this made me miss my flight. When they were going through my bag for about the 5th time and starting to rip at the lining I slipped out I don't know how I made it as I couldn't scuttle very fast. At least my heels didn't break off in the ditch that's the best I can say This is really why it PAYS in the long run to buy decent shoes instead of the kind that falls apart

My ticket was in bag AND my passport so now I'm making the rounds of the airport bars trying to find an airline pilot. Will explain later if it works.

Please pray for me!

PS: One thing they didn't count on hoho was that some Chanel suits are REVERSIBLE! So now I'm in different color and also asked a lady for a headscarf I turned into a turban. I don't think I'm getting any sleep tonight.

Has anyone heard from james???