As God wills.

[Annalita Thrax]

Hello,

As God allows, we come together and find one another, the lost and the saved, the warm by the fire of God's Love and those chilled by the icy winds before arrival. Our church here was lost to a jealous and vengeful Satan, who employed his deceit and trickery and framed our beloved Pastor for embezzlement and threw our holy church into foreclosure. Evil are the ways of the prince of darkness, most foul.

I feel so Blessed to have found your church, and hope you will allow me to worship with you while I seek out another True Church in my area. Such burning in my bosom, longing to exalt and pray and learn at the feet of a wise and Godly Man of God; so much do I desire to be sweetened by the nectar of Holy wisdom. I'll say no more now, and await your permission to kneel at your altar and be baptized anew.

Song of Solomon 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

Annalita

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: As God wills.

Hello Annalita,

Welcome to Landover. How old are you, friend?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

P.S. Have you taken a comparative religion class recently?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: As God wills.

Welcome aboard, Anthrax! Though I certainly find your submissive and obedient attitude most refreshing, I can't help but notice you haven't posted a proper introduction. Tell us, how many sons have you borne for your husband, and what is your favorite type of pie to serve him?

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Re: As God wills.

Greetings Mrs. Thrax, or is that Miss Thrax. If it's the latter, please have your father fill out the necessary paperwork and tithe allowing you to be online. If the former, tell us about your husband - what work does he do, is he a godly man, do you have his permission to be here, Etc.

I agree that your submissive attitude is quite refreshing. What are your favorite bible verses on the subject, and what version of the bible to you enjoy reading - even though it really should be your Pastor, father, or husband reading to you because women really only need to be able to read recipies.

How do you cook steak and potatoes, and what types of pie do you like to make?

[James Hutchins]

Re: As God wills.

Welcome Ann, how many spores have you spread for Jesus?

[Annalita Thrax]

Re: As God wills.

God leads us to lands of milk and honey; our prayers are answered if we please Him and fill our bodies with his sweet Love. Thank you all for your warm welcome. I'm so relieved to have found open and beckoning arms.

I'm 25 years old. My mother Baptiste, God rest her soul and hold her and keep her in His embrace, insisted I get an education before I marry, so that I could serve God with body, soul AND mind. I came home with my Masters degree in Comparative Literature, and was soon engaged to be married to young Pastor Jedediah.

Mention of him makes my heart break, my breast heave with sobs. He is the Pastor I mentioned, that Satan framed for embezzlement and removed from God's Holy service and from my tender arms. At first we wrote to one another after his conviction, but then he said the engagement was off as he had found a new way of life in prison that he said agreed with him.

My father Moses was the church deacon. He and Pastor Jed share a cell.

Pray with me for them, Brothers and Sisters, that Satan's grip on their lives is freed!

Ah, steak. I like to marinate it in demi glace along with some sweet peppers and onion wedges, then get the charcoal in a hibachi hot and radiant like a woman in love and grill it to perfection. The new baby potatoes I like in a light dill dressing, next to the corn on the cob. My favorite pie is pumpkin, but I'm best at making high-rise apple pie with raisins and an icing drizzle. Kissing the apples before you slice them, and praying over the pie before you bake it, makes it Heavenly.

Thank you again for your welcome. I hope I haven't prattled on too long. I get so emotional when I think about Pastor Jedediah and God's Love.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: As God wills.

...Our church here was lost... our beloved Pastor for embezzlement... our holy church into foreclosure.

Ever hear of Pastor Al Pistle?

He was the titular head of this clown-op before similar charges saw him replaced and disgraced. The reason these folks are left to 'worship' in a turnip storage barn in Iowa is precisely because of graft, greed and gay sex scandals. (See: Zeke and the Cabana boys parts 1-69)

...longing to exalt and pray and learn at the feet of a wise and Godly Man of God; so much do I desire to be sweetened by the nectar of Holy wisdom.

The good news for you is that we have a little room these days for newcomers in the Holy Church of Rome and welcome all proper Christians with open arms and a new series of higher odds bingo cards.

If you really want the unvarnished truth of the word of Jesus there is no better place than the one and only Church that has a clear mandate from God himself... the Catholic Church! (God speaks directly to The Pope btw and it does not get better than that!)

We have convenient locations and hours of operation worldwide in addition to some of the finest and most comfortable houses of worship on the planet. Why sit around with a dozen half-wits fighting for potato sacks to rest your behind on while listening to a Pastor whose hardest four years of life were grade 9 when you can get the complete and trusted word of God from one of our many highly educated and compassionate Fathers who specialise in hands-on teaching and guidance?

Do yourself and your soul a favour now. Leave this collection of gout-infested grifters before they get their teeth into your bank account and their claws into your heart. Come join our Church and feast at the banquet of heavenly love. Go to your nearest Catholic Church and tell them Father Mo sent you... I promise you a warm and wonderful reception.



Bless you, my brimborion bacillus,
Father Mo






.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: As God wills.

Who is supervising this woman in finding a suitable husband?

This is unclear at the moment. She sounds like she has a lot to offer and it would be a shame if some godmocking Papist got their claws into her first like the above predator.

When was the last time she was beaten properly, for example. It sounds like she was properly raised on her knees for Jesus until Satan took her menfolk from her but how long before this wears off?

[Annalita Thrax]

Re: As God wills.

My cup overfloweth with kind and Holy men and sisters who only seek to bring others to the warmth of God's bosom. Praise Sweet Jesus for His generous bounty and His care for my body and soul.

But I am so stricken with grief at having lost everything, my betrothed and my father to the insidious workings of Lucifer, my church to foreclosure, and my beloved mother to an unfortunate accident during worshipful prayer. (It was God's Will. He longed to call her Home.)

My heart is confused and I feel so vulnerable, trembling and fearful, to being led astray. My mind is overrun with thoughts of the joyous, feverish marital worship with my betrothed that I eagerly anticipated and never got to know. Please God, send me a strong and loving Brother or Sister with Your message and grace, to guide me forward.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: As God wills.

I feel so vulnerable

Your feelings are irrelevant! Why hasn't your father selected a proper husband for you yet?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: As God wills.

Your feelings are irrelevant! Why hasn't your father selected a proper husband for you yet?

Cranky Old Man, she said her father is currently sharing a jail cell with her former fiancé. I must admit this does strike me as odd. Isn't it kind of unusual for partners in crime to be housed together in the same cell? I suppose it's not impossible, though....

[Rev. Dr. Davidson]

Re: As God wills.

Your feelings are irrelevant! Why hasn't your father selected a proper husband for you yet?

I think it may be best if one of our Godly pastors of Landover were to secure the permission of her father to bring this mere female into his household to keep her on the straight and narrow. Who knows what could happen to her all alone in the world.

Perhaps some of the Landover wives could continue her cooking classes.

I hate to think of an innocent Christian girl in the hands of a secular/lezbo state run program.