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I am still fuming over my run-in with an uppity coonette at the DMV yesterday.
I seldom drive myself anywhere, so was amazed to discover that my license had expired when a cop pulled me over for slightly exceeding the speed limit in a school zone the other day. Why it matters whether you are doing 15 or 97 in a school zone when none of the kids are in the street is a mystery to me.
He was going to write me a ticket until I explained that I was rushing to the side of my dear, sweet little Millie who was going into labor. Somehow the officer got the impression that Millie was my wife, not my prize coon hound, but I was in such a hurry that I didn't take the time to explain his erroneous assumption. He instead gave me a warning ticket on the condition that I get my license renewed as soon as possible.
I had my driver take me to the DMV and one of my security guys waited inside until my number was next in line. I made it inside just as my number dinged. I stepped up only to be confronted by a sour-faced, thick-lipped, turnip-shaped Negress. It was when she handed me my new license that I saw the mistake.
"Excuse me, ummm, Chlorine, but there seems to be a mistake." I said to her.
"Is there a problem, sir?"
"Yes there is. It says here that I'm Caucasian. Shouldn't that read Native American?"
"Your old license says Caucasian, sir." the insolent curr replied
"Yes, well, I've never actually looked at it. I assure you, I am a Native American."
"Which tribe do you belong to?" she asked.
"Well, that's hardly any of your business, and we call it a church, not a tribe. I'm Baptist."
"Sir, Baptists are not Native Americans."
"I beg your pardon! I was born in America. My daddy was born in America. My mother was born in America. I am an American, and seeing as I was born here, I am by definition a Native American."
"That isn't how it works, sir."
"Are you denying my status as a native born American?"
"It is a question of heritage, sir. I am an African American for example."
"So you get to claim to be an American, but you are denying me that same right? I'll have you know that my birth certificate is in my desk at home. I can send my driver back to fetch it and prove to you that I am an American citizen."
"Heritage, sir. It applies to your ancestrial heritage."
"My heritage is Christian. Baptist to be specific. We've already been over that. Now I demand to see your superviser!"
"Sir, you're holding up the line. Here is a complaint form. If you'll fill this out and submit it to our office, we'll look into the problem. Now can you please step aside so the next person in line can be assisted in a timely manner?"
"Step aside? Are you telling me to step aside? What next? Are you going to demand I use a different restroom? Drink from a different water fountain? Why I've never been so insulted!"
"Sir, don't make me have to call the police."
"Just give me the form. I'll get a copy back to you and send one to our state rep, to the governer, and to our senators. You haven't heard the last of me!"
"Thank you, sir. Have a nice day."
Can you believe the audacity of this racist spear chunker? Now Negroes are free to claim White Christians are not Americans!
I seldom drive myself anywhere, so was amazed to discover that my license had expired when a cop pulled me over for slightly exceeding the speed limit in a school zone the other day. Why it matters whether you are doing 15 or 97 in a school zone when none of the kids are in the street is a mystery to me.
He was going to write me a ticket until I explained that I was rushing to the side of my dear, sweet little Millie who was going into labor. Somehow the officer got the impression that Millie was my wife, not my prize coon hound, but I was in such a hurry that I didn't take the time to explain his erroneous assumption. He instead gave me a warning ticket on the condition that I get my license renewed as soon as possible.
I had my driver take me to the DMV and one of my security guys waited inside until my number was next in line. I made it inside just as my number dinged. I stepped up only to be confronted by a sour-faced, thick-lipped, turnip-shaped Negress. It was when she handed me my new license that I saw the mistake.
"Excuse me, ummm, Chlorine, but there seems to be a mistake." I said to her.
"Is there a problem, sir?"
"Yes there is. It says here that I'm Caucasian. Shouldn't that read Native American?"
"Your old license says Caucasian, sir." the insolent curr replied
"Yes, well, I've never actually looked at it. I assure you, I am a Native American."
"Which tribe do you belong to?" she asked.
"Well, that's hardly any of your business, and we call it a church, not a tribe. I'm Baptist."
"Sir, Baptists are not Native Americans."
"I beg your pardon! I was born in America. My daddy was born in America. My mother was born in America. I am an American, and seeing as I was born here, I am by definition a Native American."
"That isn't how it works, sir."
"Are you denying my status as a native born American?"
"It is a question of heritage, sir. I am an African American for example."
"So you get to claim to be an American, but you are denying me that same right? I'll have you know that my birth certificate is in my desk at home. I can send my driver back to fetch it and prove to you that I am an American citizen."
"Heritage, sir. It applies to your ancestrial heritage."
"My heritage is Christian. Baptist to be specific. We've already been over that. Now I demand to see your superviser!"
"Sir, you're holding up the line. Here is a complaint form. If you'll fill this out and submit it to our office, we'll look into the problem. Now can you please step aside so the next person in line can be assisted in a timely manner?"
"Step aside? Are you telling me to step aside? What next? Are you going to demand I use a different restroom? Drink from a different water fountain? Why I've never been so insulted!"
"Sir, don't make me have to call the police."
"Just give me the form. I'll get a copy back to you and send one to our state rep, to the governer, and to our senators. You haven't heard the last of me!"
"Thank you, sir. Have a nice day."
Can you believe the audacity of this racist spear chunker? Now Negroes are free to claim White Christians are not Americans!
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