Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

[Angie the boring]

Hi guys, I'm new here!

I consider myself to be a Satanist, as in I worship Satan of course! But don't be scared! Jesus is my best friend. You see, I met him once and he was such a cool dude! Man, I wish we could have gotten together because I have a crush on him, but sadly not. His father won't allow it! But yes, we're best friends and he's so cool! Still, I do worship Satan and have sacrificed certain people because I believe that Satan will save my soul and I kinda have the hots for him too.


Anyways, nice to meet you all! This forum looks like a great place!

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Hi guys, I'm new here!

I consider myself to be a Satanist, as in I worship Satan of course! But don't be scared! Jesus is my best friend. You see, I met him once and he was such a cool dude! Man, I wish we could have gotten together because I have a crush on him, but sadly not. His father won't allow it! But yes, we're best friends and he's so cool! Still, I do worship Satan and have sacrificed certain people because I believe that Satan will save my soul and I kinda have the hots for him too.

Anyways, nice to meet you all! This forum looks like a great place!

Dear sinner,

Your somewhat lame attempts to shock us will only increase our determination to serve Jesus and to wait for the day when we shall see the sinners writhing in agony while we watch in comfort (Luke 16:24-26). One of the prophets told us about your breed. We were prepared to your appearance. As you can see, insatiable lust is a phenomenon that God knows intimately.

Hosea 4:10
For they shall eat, and not have enough: they shall commit whoredom, and shall not increase: because they have left off to take heed to the LORD.

However, you seem to have some basic knowledge of the omnipresence of Jesus (Romans 2:14). How did you find Him and what is your favorite verse in His bestselling opus, the Bible?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Dear sinner,

Your somewhat lame attempts to shock us will only increase our determination to serve Jesus and to wait for the day when we shall see the sinners writhing in agony while we watch in comfort (Luke 16:24-26). One of the prophets told us about your breed. We were prepared to your appearance. As you can see, insatiable lust is a phenomenon that God knows intimately.

Hosea 4:10
For they shall eat, and not have enough: they shall commit whoredom, and shall not increase: because they have left off to take heed to the LORD.

However, you seem to have some basic knowledge of the omnipresence of Jesus (Romans 2:14). How did you find Him and what is your favorite verse in His bestselling opus, the Bible?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Hiya! Don't worry, I wasn't intending to shock you, or anything. I wish not to infringe upon your Satan-given rights we as mortals have. I just like talkin' to folks of all stripes and I'm friendly enough.


Favorite verse - wow, that's a tough one! I think it's probably Revelation 13:18 - "Let him who hath understanding reckon the Number of the Beast; for it is a human number. His number is 666."

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Hiya! Don't worry, I wasn't intending to shock you, or anything. I wish not to infringe upon your Satan-given rights we as mortals have. I just like talkin' to folks of all stripes and I'm friendly enough.

Favorite verse - wow, that's a tough one! I think it's probably Revelation 13:18 - "Let him who hath understanding reckon the Number of the Beast; for it is a human number. His number is 666."

I for one long for the day when this mundane existence will end the infinite phase begin.

1 John 5:11
And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

But let us try to discuss your beliefs in a rational manner. You worship Satan, OK.

1. What is the source of your information about him? LaVeyan?
2. Do you think that his book is somehow inspired supernaturally or just his own ramblings? How do you discern between these two?
3. Have you experienced supernatural interventions by your "friend" and how do you distinguish between them and natural occurrences?
4. How do you harmonize your friendship with Jesus with all the above?
5. What is in a concise form your evidence about your beliefs regarding Satan?

Thank you in advance for your answers.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

P.S. Please use the Real Bible(tm), the KJV when citing. Your favorite verse should be as follows:
Revelation 13:18
Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

I for one long for the day when this mundane existence will end the infinite phase begin.

1 John 5:11
And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.

But let us try to discuss your beliefs in a rational manner. You worship Satan, OK.

1. What is the source of your information about him? LaVeyan?
2. Do you think that his book is somehow inspired supernaturally or just his own ramblings? How do you discern between these two?
3. Have you experienced supernatural interventions by your "friend" and how do you distinguish between them and natural occurrences?
4. How do you harmonize your friendship with Jesus with all the above?
5. What is in a concise form your evidence about your beliefs regarding Satan?

Thank you in advance for your answers.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

P.S. Please use the Real Bible™, the KJV when citing. Your favorite verse should be as follows:
Revelation 13:18
Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

Well:
1. No no no, LaVeyan Satanism is such a poser religion. They don't even worship Satan, they just... *shudder*... use his image. Most of my info about Satan comes from the Bible itself and a few other works which I don't recall offhand.
2. Whose book? LaVey's? See above.
3. I'm not sure, TBH.
4. Well see, Jesus is a cool dude and told me a few times that he doesn't care what I believe because I am my own person. He's cool like that! In fact, he himself disagrees with many Christians over many things.
5. Intuition I guess. Something just feels right about it.


P.S. - My mistake! 99% of the time I use the KJV because honestly, I couldn't care for any other Bible translation. The only reason I didn't in this instance was because I memorized the verse out of context. Sorry; won't happen again!


~Angel

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Well:
1. ...Most of my info about Satan comes from the Bible itself and a few other works which I don't recall offhand.
5. Intuition I guess. Something just feels right about it.

If your knowledge about Satan comes from the Bible, do you find this information to be all reliable? If you do, then you know that also the ultimate fate of him and his followers is explained in a reliable manner.

Relevation 20:7-10
And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them. And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

If you don't find all information about Satan in the Bible (there are exactly 29 verses with the word "Satan") reliable, how do you discern between reliable information and information that you can dismiss? What is in summary the stuff that the Bible has taught you about Satan?

Intuition: Do you find it a reliable source of knowledge? With intuition, quantum mechanics or the theory of relativity would never have emerged and without quantum mechanics (as secular as they may be), we would not be able to have this conversation online. If someone else's intuition contradicts yours, how can you tell which one (or either) is correct?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

If your knowledge about Satan comes from the Bible, do you find this information to be all reliable? If you do, then you know that also the ultimate fate of him and his followers is explained in a reliable manner.

Relevation 20:7-10
And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them. And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.

If you don't find all information about Satan in the Bible (there are exactly 29 verses with the word "Satan") reliable, how do you discern between reliable information and information that you can dismiss? What is in summary the stuff that the Bible has taught you about Satan?

Again, this also comes down to mostly intuition.

Intuition

: Do you find it a reliable source of knowledge? With intuition, quantum mechanics or the theory of relativity would never have emerged and without quantum mechanics (as secular as they may be), we would not be able to have this conversation online. If someone else's intuition contradicts yours, how can you tell which one (or either) is correct?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Well, it's kept me alive thus far, so I think it's pretty good. And mine of course!

~Angel

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Again, this also comes down to mostly intuition.

[B]Well, it's kept me alive thus far, so I think it's pretty good. And mine of course!

~Angel

OK. We're discussing your personal opinions without any objective evidence that would allow us to generalize and extrapolate from your intuition to the wider sphere of human or Spiritual experience. While we understand that most of the sinners who visit our Forum do not necessarily accept the Bible as evidence, it is still an independent source supporting our position. You have given us none. From the Spiritual viewpoint, relying on intuition only would never have produced the logical and strong structure of Christianity that remains much more powerful than you seem to realize. From the secular viewpoint, without the countless human beings who have strived to support intuition (that could be called hypothesis from the scientific viewpoint) with actual observations and experimentation, you would not have the infrastructure that is the thing actually keeping you alive by providing you with the comforts, care, electricity, entertainment, security etc. that allow you to rely on your intuition. Because of this, I don't think that a rational discussion with you is possible at the moment.

• Overcoming simple intuition (by these others) keeps you alive here on Earth.
• Overcoming simple intuition will keep you alive for eternity in Heaven if you accept Him.

Grow up.

1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Because of this, I don't think that a rational discussion with you is possibly at the moment.

*Possible.


But yeah, that's fair. I'm not one to be one over anyhow, I just like discussions.


~Angel

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

*Possible.


But yeah, that's fair. I'm not one to be one over anyhow, I just like discussions.


~Angel

And in this post I accidentally said "one" instead of "won". Whoops! I'm not perfect either!

~Angel

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

*Possible.


But yeah, that's fair. I'm not one to be one over anyhow, I just like discussions.


~Angel

Dear silly emo git,

Do you also like Truth™, or simply to hear yourself talk?

Grace and Peace,

Mary

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Dear silly emo git,

Do you also like Truth™, or simply to hear yourself talk?

Grace and Peace,

Mary

That's completely unfair. Emos suck. All they wanna talk about is suicide and depressing stuff. That's not me! I love my life and I love living it; I'm a very happy person!

~Angel

[Basilissa]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

That's completely unfair. Emos suck. All they wanna talk about is suicide and depressing stuff. That's not me! I love my life and I love living it; I'm a very happy person!

~Angel

Well, dear, so far you have been exceedingly boring and witless, which fits more into "sucking depressed emo" rather than "a happy person."

[Dude123 [Slovenian and slow]]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Hey, Angel! Can I be your friend?

[Angie the boring]

Re: Hi guys!!! Jesus and Satan are my dudes!!

Well, dear, so far you have been exceedingly boring and witless, which fits more into "sucking depressed emo" rather than "a happy person."

Well, even boring and witless people can be happy. Though I'm sure those I've sacrificed wouldn't call me boring by any means...

~Angel