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If our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ were born into this time is there any doubt at all he would use a nice Macbook Pro.... I think not. There are numerous reasons based on the sheer superiority of the platform, as well as witty television and print ads, but from a theological view the slam dunk of evidence is also overwhelming. Let us give a fair and balanced reasoning...
1. Bill Gates.
Clearly evil and so is his empire, if you don't know this already then wait until you find out that Vista really won't let you use the computer you have. His borg-like ether slaves will all be forced soon to buy new hardware that won't work ever with the new software until it is in its twelfth upgrade. If Gates is not the devil himself, he is surely one of his most trusted minions.
On the other hand, Apple is run by the visionary Steve Jobs. He dresses like a Priest on vacation and sells a product that always works. His followers are like the early Christians, persecuted by an ignorant majority deathly afraid of the truth. They are forever trying to preach the goodness of Steve Jobs because they have seen the light of wisdom as it illuminates the digital highway of life.
2. Internet porn.
It has been reported to me that many of thebest most disgusting porn sites won't work with Mac browsers but are flawless with Windoze. When millions of porn spams go out each day they ALL come from zombie pc's...coincidence? Not in the least. Bill Gates and his gang are the world's largest facilitators of the porn industry...I cannot Imagine Jesus being too pleased with that.
3 Confession.
Using a Mac allows a sense of privacy easily equated with the Sacrement of Confession. The information involved is just between the confessor and the Priest. Anything you ever put in a pc is a keystroke away from public consumption because of massive security flaws that 'bedevil' the pc world. Would Jesus want his computer so easily hacked by some pimple-faced geeks from Bangalore...I guess not!! Jesus goes Mac on this issue alone.
4 Podcasting.
All of today's preachers are doing it and it's safe to suggest Jesus would be right there with the best of them. Notice how it's called 'Podcasting' and not 'Zunecasting'? Jesus would likely give dozens of sermons away with the purchase of any Ipod and why not... everyone who gets one already says "Jesus, this thing is so cool!". (The vast majority of PC users also swear to the Lord about their technology... as in... "God I hate this P.O.S. operating system."
5. Closed architecture
Too easy. Imagine a Bible like wikipedia...whoever wants to just hops on and writes whatever they like. PC's are just like that. Macs take the literal words of the creator and protects them from outside nonsense...sort of like we Catholics and our protection of so many sacred and ancient texts and scrolls! Another good reason Jesus would take a bite from the Apple.
6. Saddam Hussein
He and his gang used pc's. The North Korean and Iranian regimes also use pc's. They have been described as the axis of evil. Can't see Jesus agreeing with these folks on anything!
So there you have it. Come time for your next computer purchase are you going to side with the devil to save a few buck or buy a Mac and save a few souls?
Bless you, my virus infected children,
Father Mo
1. Bill Gates.
Clearly evil and so is his empire, if you don't know this already then wait until you find out that Vista really won't let you use the computer you have. His borg-like ether slaves will all be forced soon to buy new hardware that won't work ever with the new software until it is in its twelfth upgrade. If Gates is not the devil himself, he is surely one of his most trusted minions.
On the other hand, Apple is run by the visionary Steve Jobs. He dresses like a Priest on vacation and sells a product that always works. His followers are like the early Christians, persecuted by an ignorant majority deathly afraid of the truth. They are forever trying to preach the goodness of Steve Jobs because they have seen the light of wisdom as it illuminates the digital highway of life.
2. Internet porn.
It has been reported to me that many of the
3 Confession.
Using a Mac allows a sense of privacy easily equated with the Sacrement of Confession. The information involved is just between the confessor and the Priest. Anything you ever put in a pc is a keystroke away from public consumption because of massive security flaws that 'bedevil' the pc world. Would Jesus want his computer so easily hacked by some pimple-faced geeks from Bangalore...I guess not!! Jesus goes Mac on this issue alone.
4 Podcasting.
All of today's preachers are doing it and it's safe to suggest Jesus would be right there with the best of them. Notice how it's called 'Podcasting' and not 'Zunecasting'? Jesus would likely give dozens of sermons away with the purchase of any Ipod and why not... everyone who gets one already says "Jesus, this thing is so cool!". (The vast majority of PC users also swear to the Lord about their technology... as in... "God I hate this P.O.S. operating system."
5. Closed architecture
Too easy. Imagine a Bible like wikipedia...whoever wants to just hops on and writes whatever they like. PC's are just like that. Macs take the literal words of the creator and protects them from outside nonsense...sort of like we Catholics and our protection of so many sacred and ancient texts and scrolls! Another good reason Jesus would take a bite from the Apple.
6. Saddam Hussein
He and his gang used pc's. The North Korean and Iranian regimes also use pc's. They have been described as the axis of evil. Can't see Jesus agreeing with these folks on anything!
So there you have it. Come time for your next computer purchase are you going to side with the devil to save a few buck or buy a Mac and save a few souls?
Bless you, my virus infected children,
Father Mo
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