The Footstool Promise: Who's Gonna be Your Ottoman for Eternity!

[Elmer G. White]

One of the most neglected but most glorious promises in the Bible is that of the Footstool. Praise Jesus! Once in Heaven, there is a certain risk of getting bored after the first few quadrillion years. Personally, I am not too worried, as I am going to be mightily entertained by being fed by Jesus Christ (Revelation 7:17), giggling on top of the lookout spot at the demise of the sinners (Luke 16:26), while God is drying my tears of laughter (Revelation 21:4). Still, it is good to know that the footstool solution is also available at a constant basis!

Mark 12:36
For David himself said by the Holy Ghost, The LORD said to my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, till I make thine enemies thy footstool.

Luke 20:43
Till I make thine enemies thy footstool.

Now THAT is going to be fun! Some of the worst sinners will be taken into Heaven to avoid the tungsten enemas and other tortures that Jesus has designed for Hell (Matthew 8:12). Instead, these enemies of ours will spend the eternity prostrate submitting to us, True Christians™. Glory! It will be exciting to see if they will keep their human form, as follows:



The alternative above looks most entertaining. The enemy, the sinner will spend year after year after year (after year) in the prone position, never ever will he get any relief. He will beg for tungsten enemas but will receive none!



This one also looks nice with some outdoor entertainment preferably by a nice brook with bubbling refreshments. The footstool above looks like a Welshman, and they're all enemies of God so there'll be plenty to choose from.

Nice.

But... We might be surprised, if Jesus decides to transfrom the enemies into actual ottomans. In that case, I'd really like the model depicted below!



For those with a more playful mind, for instance the True Christian™ ladies who are all intellectually inferior to me but still pious, a fun model can be seen below!



With eyes the enemy would still be able to see how we frolic and enjoy ourselves in Heaven while (s)he is confined to the ottoman shape for eternity.

Nice.

This is what I expect. This is what I shall get. It's a promise!

Hebrews 10:13
From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool.

But who? Who is the enemy that I shall use as my footstool? There's so much to choose from? The pope Frances? Hillary Clinton? Queen of England? Mr. Dawkins. Not Stephen Hawking, he's too bony and I crave for eternal comfort! Perhaps Marlon Brando would do? Or Luciano Pavarotti the Papist?

Nice.

What about you?? Brethren and Sisters! Who is gonna be your footstool for ever and ever?!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The Footstool Promise: Who's Gonna be Your Ottoman for Eternity!

What about you?? Brethren and Sisters! Who is gonna be your footstool for ever and ever?!

For the authentic ottoman experience I think I would like an actual Ottoman ottoman. There are plenty to choose from, all well-versed in adopting the position, as we can see from this:



As to which one, with all of history to choose from we are really spoiled for choice. the 15th Century sultan Suleiman the Magnificent looks well-padded and might suffice.



Comfy, eh?

[Isabella White]

Re: The Footstool Promise: Who's Gonna be Your Ottoman for Eternity!

Well, upon my word, dear Brother White -- It is so hard to choose from the various options, but I think I will have to agree that the antique footstool looks very nice. You know, I have a collection of those (with matching balloon back chairs) here in my parlor, with the needlework having been done by Yours Truly when I was much younger. Now, then, if I did not have that option of the petit point during our blessed reign in Heaven (II Timothy 2:12 "If we suffer, we shall also reign with him: if we deny him, he also will deny us"), then I would have to say that footstools as shown in the photo below would probably suffice. Although, I can't quite imagine these types making their way through the gates, except for their time in the Halls of Judgment. Goodness, they do rather look more like thugs who rob banks and steal cars than being of use to any of us there!

A blessed day to you, dear Brother White,
Sincerely, Isabella W.

[Basilissa]

Re: The Footstool Promise: Who's Gonna be Your Ottoman for Eternity!

I'll go out on a limb and assume all Turks will become ottomans. The name tells it all - Turkey used to be called the Ottoman Empire. By the way, I must say, whoever named that country both times was a very practically-oriented person. If they change name again, I wonder if they will adopt a name of a vegetable, or maybe a kitchen utensil?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The Footstool Promise: Who's Gonna be Your Ottoman for Eternity!

If they change name again, I wonder if they will adopt a name of a vegetable, or maybe a kitchen utensil?

The Sporks?

[Kyrre Eliasen]

Re: The Footstool Promise: Who's Gonna be Your Ottoman for Eternity!

One of the most neglected but most glorious promises in the Bible is that of the Footstool. Praise Jesus! Once in Heaven, there is a certain risk of getting bored after the first few quadrillion years. Personally, I am not too worried, as I am going to be mightily entertained by being fed by Jesus Christ (Revelation 7:17), giggling on top of the lookout spot at the demise of the sinners (Luke 16:26), while God is drying my tears of laughter (Revelation 21:4). Still, it is good to know that the footstool solution is also available at a constant basis!

Mark 12:36
For David himself said by the Holy Ghost, The LORD said to my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, till I make thine enemies thy footstool.

Luke 20:43
Till I make thine enemies thy footstool.

Now THAT is going to be fun! Some of the worst sinners will be taken into Heaven to avoid the tungsten enemas and other tortures that Jesus has designed for Hell (Matthew 8:12). Instead, these enemies of ours will spend the eternity prostrate submitting to us, True Christians™. Glory! It will be exciting to see if they will keep their human form, as follows:



The alternative above looks most entertaining. The enemy, the sinner will spend year after year after year (after year) in the prone position, never ever will he get any relief. He will beg for tungsten enemas but will receive none!



This one also looks nice with some outdoor entertainment preferably by a nice brook with bubbling refreshments. The footstool above looks like a Welshman, and they're all enemies of God so there'll be plenty to choose from.

Nice.

But... We might be surprised, if Jesus decides to transfrom the enemies into actual ottomans. In that case, I'd really like the model depicted below!



For those with a more playful mind, for instance the True Christian™ ladies who are all intellectually inferior to me but still pious, a fun model can be seen below!



With eyes the enemy would still be able to see how we frolic and enjoy ourselves in Heaven while (s)he is confined to the ottoman shape for eternity.

Nice.

This is what I expect. This is what I shall get. It's a promise!

Hebrews 10:13
From henceforth expecting till his enemies be made his footstool.

But who? Who is the enemy that I shall use as my footstool? There's so much to choose from? The pope Frances? Hillary Clinton? Queen of England? Mr. Dawkins. Not Stephen Hawking, he's too bony and I crave for eternal comfort! Perhaps Marlon Brando would do? Or Luciano Pavarotti the Papist?

Nice.

What about you?? Brethren and Sisters! Who is gonna be your footstool for ever and ever?!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

My Doc call it biomass.It is like a heated IKEA-piece.