[Brother V]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

What do you mean, "has no origins"? That doesn't make any sense.

Do you not care that you are steering folks away from salvation by just preaching whatever hippy-dippy idea pops into your head instead of God's Word?

Pastor Billy-Reuben

They might as well just be following the teaching of Joel Osteen!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

I am from a church that has no origins. We sprouted from a New Life church. We try and bring people to us to save them. We are called Springs church. We have a 20 people strong youth group who lead a service once every few months. I usually do the preaching in that service. I do well usually. I believe that I can be a Pastor with God's help.

You think you can be a pastor? Do you think you have The Faith(r) in Jesus to eject one of your parishioners from you congregation because she was a bastard like one of our pastors had to. You have to have faith in God that is rock solid to look into a woman’s tear filled face and tell her “I am sorry, you are damned and there is utterly no hope for you.” And sick to it no matter how she begs and pleads.

PRAISE Jesus Pastor Zeke had that strength of character to do the Right Thing®. Now what makes you think you do kid?

[Goats]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

You think that I am part of a fake belief. But you haven't seen what we preach. YOu know nothing of us and therefore shouldn't judge us.

[Brother MoJo]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

You think that I am part of a fake belief. But you haven't seen what we preach. YOu know nothing of us and therefore shouldn't judge us.

Fiend, we know what the New Life Churches preach. We know that anyone sinfull enough to attend them is eternally damned. We also know that damned people have no right to preach at all.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

You think that I am part of a fake belief. But you haven't seen what we preach. YOu know nothing of us and therefore shouldn't judge us.

Well, we know what you have told us, the main part of which is that you are an admitted liar. So we are COMMANDED TO JUDGE YOU!

Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

1 Corinthians 5:12-13
For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

1 Corinthians 6:2-3
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

You think that I am part of a fake belief. But you haven't seen what we preach. YOu know nothing of us and therefore shouldn't judge us.

We've seen the nonsense you've been spouting here, and if you are their leader, then we have all the information we need to judge righteous judgment, as the Lord commands.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Goats]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

I'm not the leader. I'm 14 almost 15! Also, i said we came from a New life Church, I didn't say we WERE New Life. We are a new section of church with no name, because we teach all sides of Christianity.

[Brother MoJo]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

I'm not the leader. I'm 14 almost 15! Also, i said we came from a New life Church, I didn't say we WERE New Life. We are a new section of church with no name, because we teach all sides of Christianity.

There is only ONE side of Christianity. Any other "sides" are not Christianity but pretenders trying to drag you to Hell.

Clearly you did not read what I said- ANYONE that would have EVER attended New Life Church is damned.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

What kind of nonsense are you going on about now? There is only one side of Christianity, and that is God's side.

We have also caught you in yet another lie.

We have a 20 people strong youth group who lead a service once every few months. I usually do the preaching in that service.

I'm not the leader.

You contradict yourself at every step. You said

I am from a church that has no origins.

and immediately followed that by stating your church's origins

We sprouted from a New Life church.

You obey voices in your head. You are a looney-toons wannabe cult leader.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

I am from a church that has no origins. We sprouted from a New Life church. We try and bring people to us to save them. We are called Springs church. We have a 20 people strong youth group who lead a service once every few months. I usually do the preaching in that service. I do well usually. I believe that I can be a Pastor with God's help.

If you're the best your youth group has to offer.. or even a good preacher by that standard -
I for one wouldn't want to see the one you consider to be your least-best (ie WORST) preacher.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

You think that I am part of a fake belief. But you haven't seen what we preach. YOu know nothing of us and therefore shouldn't judge us.

Young man, from what you have said, we KNOW you are of a fake belief. But here at Landover our GODLY pastors and brothers teach the true belief, and the BIBLE as it is actually written by GOD alone.

Any other church is a false-feel-good-hippy-dippy excuse for a church, inwhich any old nonsense can be taught to unsuspecting dimwits, including children.

You must leave your no-origin 'church' immediately, ghostboy, for Jesus said ...

John 15:18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

John 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

John 15:20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

John 15:21 But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.

... Of course this will mean you will lose all your friends and people will hate you, but remember that you are doing it for the sake of your soul, and for GOD's Divine love! (you will thank us later, trust me on this)

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Lesson 2

Pastor Pistle's

PASTORAL THEOLOGY

II. RECIPROCAL RIGHTS AND DUTIES OF PASTOR AND FLOCK.

1. It is their duty to aid him in his work to the extent of their ability - tithes -lots of them.
2. Of course, he has a right to this aid, and more!.
3. They owe him a competent support plus perks.
4. This is his right, as GOD COMMANDS!

5. A competent salary is one which will meet the wants of himself and family. 7 figures.

6. The principle of tithes is the true one.
7. It is the pastor's duty to give himself wholly to his proper work, and not spend his time and means in idleness or excessive pleasure.
8. The flock have a right to expect him to be at his proper work with earnest diligence one day per week.
9. It is his duty to be, and keep himself well informed through films, video and pictures.
10. It is their duty to furnish him with the means. Turn in your home videos!

11. It is his duty to study and give them well-digested instruction.
12. It is their duty to so help him in every way, as to give him time, opportunity, and means.
13. He is bound to be the teacher and leader of the church.
14. They ought to regard and treat him as such, as likened to JESUS himself!

15. A pastor is not merely one of the flock, but the shepherd.
16. He must exercise such discretion in his appointments for teaching, as will meet his own and their convenience and wants.
17. He has a right to their sympathy and support, if he is persecuted for his faithfulness.
18. It is their duty to encourage faithfulness, and to stand by him, and not fear for the salary and counsel a worldly prudence.
19. It is their duty to treat him with such respect and confidence, as to give him the greatest influence. This for their good.
20. It is his duty to deserve their confidence and respect.
21. They ought to place him above temptation to servility, especially to avoid his mendicancy (living on alms). They must do this by providing a sufficient income.

22. They are bound to abhor servility in themselves, to secure the world's support.
23. His salary is his due, and not to be regarded as a gift.
24. To be paid punctually.
25. The last debt to be repudiated, it is his bread.
26. Pastor and flock should understand their rights and duties as the Pastor explains them..
27. As occasions arise, the pastor should wisely instruct them on these points.
28. He should be punctual himself, and train them to punctuality.
29. If they fail to meet their engagements, he should reprove them. Baptist minister at covenant meeting at Freehold is held for that purpose. The wicked forfeit all earthly possessions..

[Seeker]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

Female pastor, is kind of an honorary title.

Titus 2 tells us what the women may teach.

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

In order to provide the women a little bit of authority, the title of pastor CAN be imposed.

However, no female pastor may tell any male True Christian™ that he probably doesn't already know.

I hope this helps.

YIC
V

I guess that it where Joyce Meyer got the idea from.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

I guess that it where Joyce Meyer got the idea from.

Friend, Joyce Meyer gets her ideas from St. Louis, Missouri bowling alleys.

[Seeker]

Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

Friend, Joyce Meyer gets her ideas from St. Louis, Missouri bowling alleys.

And her deep manly voice also. I know the tables are wrong in that house!! I actually feel sorry for her husband .... tHAT does not come easy...

Well I guess with all the checks it would be easy to be a homer and dust and lay out you're wifes suits for the power hour...TBN...is there anything else I am missing?

Oh yeah.. That women's confrence every year..