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  • #61
    Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

    Hello, Brothers! (and sisters). I just want to know what does it take to become a Pastor of this Holy® Church... could you please explain to me how the great pastors came to this position? I don't know if I might be worthy some day of such heavenly position, but would be willing to give it a try, so please do help me out...
    Bringing Geology back to Christ!

    I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

    Comment

    • #62
      Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

      Originally posted by SanzSolo View Post
      Hello, Brothers! (and sisters). I just want to know what does it take to become a Pastor of this Holy® Church... could you please explain to me how the great pastors came to this position? I don't know if I might be worthy some day of such heavenly position, but would be willing to give it a try, so please do help me out...
      Have you read through this entire thread from the beginning?

      You'll need to focus on your own Salvation© first. If and when you become a True Christian™, you might then consider starting down the road to becoming a Pastor.

      A generous love offering would be most welcome to show Jesus how sincere you are, so don't hesitate to click on that shiny Paypal button at the bottom of this page. Tithe early and Tithe often.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #63
        Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

        You think tithing is required for salvation? What is this, Mormonism?
        Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?

        Comment

        • #64
          Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

          Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
          You think tithing is required for salvation? What is this, Mormonism?
          Oh, yes, because the Cathilicks never ask for money, right?
          Bringing Geology back to Christ!

          I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

          Comment

          • #65
            Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Have you read through this entire thread from the beginning?

            You'll need to focus on your own Salvation© first. If and when you become a True Christian™, you might then consider starting down the road to becoming a Pastor.

            A generous love offering would be most welcome to show Jesus how sincere you are, so don't hesitate to click on that shiny Paypal button at the bottom of this page. Tithe early and Tithe often.
            I will start by shipping off some barrels of drug-earned money, while I get my Aussie credit card and start tithing directly... does the Church need any white Colombian powder for say, research reasons?
            Bringing Geology back to Christ!

            I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

            Comment

            • #66
              Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

              while I get my Aussie credit card and start tithing directly...
              I can help you with that if needed.
              (2 Peter 3:10)

              But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

              Comment

              • #67
                Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                Originally posted by ForGodsSake View Post
                while I get my Aussie credit card and start tithing directly...
                I can help you with that if needed.
                The help would be very much appreciated... what do I need to do?
                Bringing Geology back to Christ!

                I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

                Comment

                • #68
                  Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                  Originally posted by SanzSolo View Post
                  I will start by shipping off some barrels of drug-earned money, while I get my Aussie credit card and start tithing directly... does the Church need any white Colombian powder for say, research reasons?

                  What is it with you and your white powder? If you really are a born-again drug lord and still have any of your ill-gotten money left, you should renounce yourself of it and give it to the lord so that it may be cleansed of its sin. The good accountants at Landover's treasury will be happy to help you with this task, as they are very understanding and compassionate professionals with lots of experience in this sort of thing.
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • #69
                    Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                    Yeah, I understand about the money, but what should I do with the white powder?
                    Bringing Geology back to Christ!

                    I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

                    Comment

                    • #70
                      Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                      Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
                      You think tithing is required for salvation?
                      How dare you imply that Salvation® can be bought! The only way to be saved is to follow each and every command in the Bible (KJV1611) to the letter. You should have learned this by now.

                      I'll let the Lord's own brother, James, explain it to you.

                      James 2:14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
                      James 2:15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
                      James 2:16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
                      James 2:17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

                      Faith and good wishes won't cut the mustard. Worldwide megachurches don't run by themselves, and our pastors need clothes and food (James 2:15) and all "those things which are needful to the body". If you're trying to hide your money from Jesus, then your faith is dead.
                      Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
                      What is this, Mormonism?
                      It's called Salvation by Works. It's easy enough to say you have faith, but without works, faith is "dead, being alone."
                      A wise man’s heart inclines him to the right, but a fool’s heart to the left. (Ecclesiastes 10:2)

                      Comment

                      • #71
                        Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                        Originally posted by Prune Danish View Post
                        How dare you imply that Salvation® can be bought! The only way to be saved is to follow each and every command in the Bible (KJV1611) to the letter. You should have learned this by now.

                        I'll let the Lord's own brother, James, explain it to you.

                        James 2:14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
                        James 2:15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
                        James 2:16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
                        James 2:17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

                        Faith and good wishes won't cut the mustard. Worldwide megachurches don't run by themselves, and our pastors need clothes and food (James 2:15) and all "those things which are needful to the body". If you're trying to hide your money from Jesus, then your faith is dead.

                        It's called Salvation by Works. It's easy enough to say you have faith, but without works, faith is "dead, being alone."
                        Oh, now this is rich. In another thread, Ossifer Martian thought he could beat me in an argument by quoting James ch. 2, and now he needs it quoted right back at him. Ossifer, come back once you've made up your mind what you believe.
                        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                        Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • #72
                          Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • #73
                            Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                            Amen! Pastor Ezekiel, you surely are as bold as a lion! If you have a clear concience, let it rip!! Preach the word of the Lord! The fear of God is not respected in these days. Who else is there to fear besides God?!? No one! That's who.

                            Praising Jesus is NEVER out of season! Praise the Lord, and be filled with the Holy Spirit!
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • #74
                              Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                              Most satisfying - none of that fluffy-bunny stuff. The Pastor got to the point and told it as it is, not as the lieberals want it to be.
                              sigpic


                              “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                              Author of such illuminating essays as,
                              Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                              Comment

                              • #75
                                Re: SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A PASTOR!

                                I'm heading out to the front yard and witness for Jesus now !

                                GLORY !


                                Leviticus 26:27-29

                                27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                                28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                                29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                                Comment

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