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  • WilliamJenningsBryan
    True Christian™
     
    • Jan 2007
    • 9384

    #1

    Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

    Friends, God has given His Holy Word to spread around the earth and it is in every True Christian's™ mission to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It seems that everywhere we go we encounter savages that the devil has taken hold of, and like clearing the virgin land, we must either convert the savages or clear them in the name of the Lord.

    If there was ever any doubt that the injuns that inhabited our great land were savages this story should clear up any misconceptions. This vile and disgusting practice amongst the injuns is further proof that Satan had taken hold of the hell bound injuns from a very early time on American soil.

    Phallic-Shaped Rock Discovered in Maryland
    By Clara Moskowitz, LiveScience Senior Writer
    posted: 10 December 2010 10:41 am ET

    [ATTACH]14634[/ATTACH]

    When Martin Kenny came across what looked like a phallic carving at a site where workers had been excavating to build a new barn, he didn't know what to make of the thing.

    "I was standing there and just happened to look down and said, 'Holy crap, what's that?' Kenny told LiveScience. "I put it in my trunk and said, 'What am I going to do about this?’"

    Kenny, who works as a horse farrier (a specialist in hoof care), said he's contacted several academic institutions to see if they were interested in analyzing the object, but hasn't received a response.

    "I've written to the Smithsonian and never got anything back from them," he said. "I wrote and said I found this stone penis, and I'm sure someone would appreciate being able to look into this thing."

    Kenny first found the rock about 20 years ago near Elkton, Md., but has kept it in a drawer since, not knowing what to do with it. He recently sent photos to Swedish archaeologist Martin Rundkvist, who posted them on his blog Thursday (Dec. 9).

    "To my eye, it's pretty clearly modified by human hands, though it may originally have originated as a fossil cavity of some ancient mollusk," Rundkvist wrote.

    The suggestive-looking rock appears to be made of sandstone, and measures 6 inches (15 cm) long by 1.5 inches (4 cm) thick. At its base is a hole about the diameter of a pencil, Kenny said.

    Rundkvist said the object could potentially be of academic interest.

    "I'd like to know if this is something Maryland pre-historians have found before," he wrote in an e-mail. "And I'd also like to know what sort of finds may remain to be found on the site."

    It's not the first such phallic find. A Stone Age carving that scientists said looked like an "ancient dildo" was unearthed in July in Sweden. Though that item may have had a more innocent purpose as a flint-carving tool, researchers speculated.

    Other than a few discoveries, though, such possibly sexual objects from the ancient world are not common, Rundkvist said.

    "I don't know about Maryland, but they're very rare in Scandinavia where I work," he said.

    A horse farrier stumbled upon a phallic carving while workers were excavating to build a new barn.

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    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
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  • Levi Jones
    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
     
    • Jul 2009
    • 13930

    #2
    Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

    The suggestive-looking rock appears to be made of sandstone, and measures 6 inches (15 cm) long by 1.5 inches (4 cm) thick. At its base is a hole about the diameter of a pencil, Kenny said.
    Thank you for bringing that to my attention, brother.

    This is clear evidence as to why God chose to nearly wipe out the redskins.

    Plus, that thing is huge! It could only be some insatiable witch squaw who would want something that big!
    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

    Comment

    • Brother Enoch
      The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2008
      • 4392

      #3
      Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

      Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
      Thank you for bringing that to my attention, brother.

      This is clear evidence as to why God chose to nearly wipe out the redskins.

      Plus, that thing is huge! It could only be some insatiable witch squaw who would want something that big!
      Agreed. 6 inches is freakishly huge. Circus freak show huge. I imagine the only squaws able to utilize such a thing must have already squirted out at least dozen little heathen savages. Even then, I imagine they could only fit that in there for a week or two. Utterly disgusting. Couldn't those squaws take a couple of weeks off from their sinful pleasuring of themselves before they got back to it with their their husband and anyone else in the tribe who was available?

      Comment

      • Lisa H
        Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2010
        • 5070

        #4
        Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

        Why would it have a pencil hole at the base.

        At its base is a hole about the diameter of a pencil, Kenny said.
        Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
        Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
        Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
        Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
        Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
        Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

        Comment

        • Adilene
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Dec 2010
          • 332

          #5
          Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

          Originally posted by Lisa H View Post
          Why would it have a pencil hole at the base.
          Do you think someone tried to kill it with a pencil.

          “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3

          Comment

          • Sister Kitty
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Mar 2010
            • 857

            #6
            Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

            Originally posted by Lisa H View Post
            Why would it have a pencil hole at the base.
            Perhaps it was so the disgusting Indian males could pleasure themselves with the same tool?

            'Awpalooktik tigosyakipik nunami akanoosiyum' is a favorite saying among the Indians. It means 'the family that plays together, stays together'.

            I do not know why they were not all exterminated when the whites brought Jesus to this land long ago.
            Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556

              #7
              Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

              Hippies are living proof that injuns fornicated with dogs.

              This is a little-known fact.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • James Dewitt
                #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                • Jan 2010
                • 6267

                #8
                Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                Originally posted by Lisa H View Post
                Why would it have a pencil hole at the base.
                Necklace perhaps, shoot they put bones in their noses. Or is that Nigras that do that? Either way its wrong.

                Comment

                • Adilene
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 332

                  #9
                  Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                  Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                  Necklace perhaps, shoot they put bones in their noses. Or is that Nigras that do that? Either way its wrong.
                  I'm not sure... I know if I saw one of those things outside I would definitely try and kill it! It's not something you call others and be like hey look what I found. It's something that gets smashed to pieces. It's an unholy abomination, That doesn't deserve attention or studying!
                  Last edited by Adilene; 12-16-2010, 01:43 PM. Reason: need to put a space between two words.
                  “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3

                  Comment

                  • Ezekiel Bathfire
                    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                    Christ's Rottweiler
                     
                    • Jan 2008
                    • 22907

                    #10
                    Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                    It was made of sandstone... isn't that a bit rough? Perhaps it was something for driving out devils from a woman's front opening? Small wonder that the injuns welcomed the arrival of the white man and Christianity.
                    sigpic


                    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                    Author of such illuminating essays as,
                    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                    Comment

                    • Daisy Mae Johnson
                      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15708

                      #11
                      Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                      How can we be sure it isn't a dinosaur wang placed here by Satan to fool us into believing in evolution?
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                      Comment

                      • Lost Sheep McUinnean
                        Linguistics and Translation Consultant
                        True Christian™
                        • Nov 2009
                        • 2193

                        #12
                        Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                        Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                        How can we be sure it isn't a dinosaur wang placed here by Satan to fool us into believing in evolution?
                        Would it still be rock hard after 'fossilization' though?



                        YIC. McUinnean

                        Comment

                        • cazoofool
                          Unsaved trash, Godmocking fool
                          • Dec 2010
                          • 51

                          #13
                          Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                          Originally posted by Lost Sheep McUinnean View Post
                          Would it still be rock hard after 'fossilization' though?



                          YIC. McUinnean
                          That's quite a perverted joke, I'm disgusted.

                          Comment

                          • Lost Sheep McUinnean
                            Linguistics and Translation Consultant
                            True Christian™
                            • Nov 2009
                            • 2193

                            #14
                            Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                            Originally posted by cazoofool View Post
                            That's quite a perverted joke, I'm disgusted.
                            Excuse me?

                            Comment

                            • Adilene
                              Forum Member
                              Forum Member
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 332

                              #15
                              Re: Ancient Injun Dildo Discovered in Maryland

                              Originally posted by cazoofool View Post
                              That's quite a perverted joke, I'm disgusted.
                              Only a perverted mind would take what that True Christian man said out of context. True Christians do not think like that! I'm not even sure if I get the joke.

                              “By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3

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