[James Hutchins]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

You need to read more, son. Not that it matters now.

[Satan Is THAT bad]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Too late, you are now a Homer for life. Might as well find a stall at the airport and do some toe tapping.

What is toe tapping?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Too late, you are now a Homer for life. Might as well find a stall at the airport and do some toe tapping.

[Satan Is THAT bad]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

In a rather unexpected turn of events, Landover Automotive Scientheists have done an exhaustive study and discovered that the gayest car in the last 20 years is the Dodge Caliber.



Landover Scientheists recommend that any True Christians™ men who have either owned, rented, or even ridden in a Dodge Caliber see their Pastor immediately. As has been stated elsewhere on these Godly boards, constant concentrated prayer has been shown to cure even the faggiest of queers.

Are you kidding me? I got this car used 2 weeks ago. Should I sell this car or torch it and its queerness?

Someone please help.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

[...]You and your Caliber cronies make me sick. You brag about how much CO2 you spew out into this world. Guess what? You're not going to have a planet to drive your beloved Caliber around in in the near future.

I suppose your car runs on squirrel tears.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Dodge Caliber? LOL Stan, are you for real? You actually drive one of these go-karts? Sorry, but my Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG (yea, you heard right) could beat you in the quarter mile without getting out of first gear.

But on a serious note, let's talk about your spiritual welfare. As Christians, we know how important it is to associate with our fellow kind and surround ourselves with wholesome Christian ideas and products. The reason being, products, such as a Dodge Caliber, can incite heathenly passions inside the soul.

Surely you would be joking with us if you claimed not to have at least fantasized making out with another man in the back of your Caliber while at the Beach with a Madonna CD on. And probably deep down you always wanted to test how "stain-resistant" those flat, folding seats can be.

Brother, we are giving you an opportunity to stray from your sodomite ways and join us in the arms of Jesus! Jesus Christ died for you so that you may have eternal life. You are being given a chance by the Lord to accept Him as your Savior. Will you take Him up on his offer?

Rev., next time, give my Missus 10 lengths. Between your faster car, having Jesus as your co-pilot and the little lady not being too quick herself, she may have half a chance next time.

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Iamtehstan, are you so proud of the heavy carbon footprint your gas-guzzling Dodge Caliber puts out? If you are having 350 hp like you say, it just goes to show you are more interested in "looking cool" than putting out a modicum of care for our planet. This is a time when we need to band together as human beings and drive strictly hybrids and electric vehicles.

You and your Caliber cronies make me sick. You brag about how much CO2 you spew out into this world. Guess what? You're not going to have a planet to drive your beloved Caliber around in in the near future.

[Tertius The Scribe]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Dodge Caliber? LOL Stan, are you for real? You actually drive one of these go-karts? Sorry, but my Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG (yea, you heard right) could beat you in the quarter mile without getting out of first gear.

But on a serious note, let's talk about your spiritual welfare. As Christians, we know how important it is to associate with our fellow kind and surround ourselves with wholesome Christian ideas and products. The reason being, products, such as a Dodge Caliber, can incite heathenly passions inside the soul.

Surely you would be joking with us if you claimed not to have at least fantasized making out with another man in the back of your Caliber while at the Beach with a Madonna CD on. And probably deep down you always wanted to test how "stain-resistant" those flat, folding seats can be.

Brother, we are giving you an opportunity to stray from your sodomite ways and join us in the arms of Jesus! Jesus Christ died for you so that you may have eternal life. You are being given a chance by the Lord to accept Him as your Savior. Will you take Him up on his offer?

I used to have a Benz, an SLR McLaren convertible to be exact, until a gang of wetback thugs stole it. I still have my Ferrari Enzo though.

But yes, let's start discussing your salvation instead of how your silly little faggot car couldn't even beat a Prius, Mr. Stan. I do believe you aren't familiar with John 3:16: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

You may also need Revelation 21:8 as reassurance of eternal damnation if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your savior: "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." (Bolded where that applies to you.)

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Dodge Caliber? LOL Stan, are you for real? You actually drive one of these go-karts? Sorry, but my Mercedes-Benz SL65 AMG (yea, you heard right) could beat you in the quarter mile without getting out of first gear.

But on a serious note, let's talk about your spiritual welfare. As Christians, we know how important it is to associate with our fellow kind and surround ourselves with wholesome Christian ideas and products. The reason being, products, such as a Dodge Caliber, can incite heathenly passions inside the soul.

Surely you would be joking with us if you claimed not to have at least fantasized making out with another man in the back of your Caliber while at the Beach with a Madonna CD on. And probably deep down you always wanted to test how "stain-resistant" those flat, folding seats can be.

Brother, we are giving you an opportunity to stray from your sodomite ways and join us in the arms of Jesus! Jesus Christ died for you so that you may have eternal life. You are being given a chance by the Lord to accept Him as your Savior. Will you take Him up on his offer?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

Try 200 pounds. CF hood, doors, tailgate, BBS wheels, Sparco seats. Please do not make me rattle on about everything.

No, my little ladies family station wagon would smoke your Homer-Mo-Bile. Now, don't get your lacy panties in a bunch. I will tell your friends you drive a fag mobile though know when you pull up and you ask why they are laughing and they say 'nothing', you will know why.

But to be perfectly honest, I could care less if the wifes car is faster or slower (Not). At least it is not a fag car driven by a Richard Simmons wanna be. This thread is not about other cars, just gay ones like yours.


BTW, how is that Skittles holder working out for you?

[iamtehstan]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

You are an idiot, aren't you? It is a Hausfrau car, just a dull Volvo V70 Sport, chipped, larger turbo, intercooler, water injection. Totally factory car. They offer to 400 Hp but I did not want to stress it too much. The Missus has quite the lead foot when it comes to grocery shopping.

The volvo also weighs what, like 600 pounds more? I wouldn't open your mouth too wide by saying it's faster. You may end up getting burned.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

You are an idiot, aren't you? It is a Hausfrau car, just a dull Volvo V70 Sport, chipped, larger turbo, intercooler, water injection. Totally factory car. They offer to 400 Hp but I did not want to stress it too much. The Missus has quite the lead foot when it comes to grocery shopping.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

I will let you find your own spelling mistakes in your post. Guess faggitism is contagious on this forum. Weclome to Stage 2

I believe I left out the word 'to' in one sentence.

I apologize. But really, lashing out at me does not make your situation any better friend. You need to get rid of that car and start an ex-gay program.

We want you to Save yourself son. Please, come to Jesus. He is willing to forgive you!

[iamtehstan]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

My Missus station wagon is faster than that POS. 350 RWHP, AWD with a Getrag 6 speed paddle shifter. Please............

Why don't you do the honest thing and paint the words "Free Candy" on the sides of your Homer-Mo-bile.

350 RWHP and AWD...I hope you realized what you just said is completely ridiculous. I dont know of any AWD station wagons that would beat me. Please tell me what she is driving?

Son, I understand your anger and your need to lash out. You have just been given some very bad news. It is normal and natural. You are grieving the loss of your immortal soul and your inevitable descent into a life of faggotry.

You are now going through what Dr. Elisabeht Kubler-Ross calls the sequential stages of grief. First is DENIAL:

"I'm not a fag, I don't drive a fag car!!! I have a hot girlfriend"

Then comes ANGER, which you are going through now.

"wtf are you talking about? Its not an aftermark TD04 dumbass. Get your facts straight."

Here you are so angry you have lost the ability to properly spell or use your shift key.

Next will come BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, and then finally ACCEPTANCE. You will eventually accept your status as a Hellbound homo who drives a fagmoblie.

Your only hope for salvation is get rid of your Caliber. And son, I beg you, sell it to someone who is already a hopeless sissy-boy. We don't want what has happened to you to happen to another straight person.

I will let you find your own spelling mistakes in your post. Guess faggitism is contagious on this forum. Weclome to Stage 2

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!

wtf are you talking about? Its not an aftermark TD04 dumbass. Get your facts straight. Its 285 HP from factory, pushing 10Lbs of boost..not really a far stretch to get 15 more HP right? At 15lbs of boost, im pushing 300hp/300Trq...not bad for a fiat queermobile? lol

Son, I understand your anger and your need to lash out. You have just been given some very bad news. It is normal and natural. You are grieving the loss of your immortal soul and your inevitable descent into a life of faggotry.

You are now going through what Dr. Elisabeht Kubler-Ross calls the sequential stages of grief. First is DENIAL:

"I'm not a fag, I don't drive a fag car!!! I have a hot girlfriend"

Then comes ANGER, which you are going through now.

"wtf are you talking about? Its not an aftermark TD04 dumbass. Get your facts straight."

Here you are so angry you have lost the ability to properly spell or use your shift key.

Next will come BARGAINING, DEPRESSION, and then finally ACCEPTANCE. You will eventually accept your status as a Hellbound homo who drives a fagmoblie.

Your only hope for salvation is get rid of your Caliber. And son, I beg you, sell it to someone who is already a hopeless sissy-boy. We don't want what has happened to you to happen to another straight person.