[Jesus]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

Dear Jesus;

Could you please help with this cough that has been plaguing me--sorry, poor choice of words--that has been hanging around for the past month?

Yes.

Also could you multiple my toilet paper and turn water into hand sanitizer? Actually, that was a dumb question. I know that you could, but would you please?

No.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

White Jesus you sure are amazing. As a devout Baptist I hope to be cured of being a nigra and to become on par as the fine Christian White folk here. I could care less about the Chinese virus and am saddened that a lot of people decided to abandon their Christian duties of attending church in person this past Easter. It’s almost as if they cared more about themselves than you.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

Dear Jesus,



I realized You were upset at mankind when you sent a plague of locust to Kenya. You confirmed this by flooding Englandistan in February, and I was half expecting this. It is unfortunate, but mankind must learn the error of his ways.

I have made the assumption that you will cause the Potomac to run red with blood, frogs will be everywhere, and the death of the firstborn is a foregone conclusion.

However, I am writing this as my numerous, air-headed granddaughters have firstborns with birthdays throughout the year. If You could see Your Way clear to giving me a clue as to when the deaths will begin, I could avoid unnecessary expense in presents and tithe more towards Your inevitable and eternal expenses.

Thanks in advance

YIY

E Bathfire

[Jesus]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

White Jesus you sure are amazing. As a devout Baptist I hope to be cured of being a nigra and to become on par as the fine Christian White folk here. I could care less about the Chinese virus and am saddened that a lot of people decided to abandon their Christian duties of attending church in person this past Easter. It’s almost as if they cared more about themselves than you.

Maybe later.

[Jesus]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

...If You could see Your Way clear to giving me a clue as to when the deaths will begin, I could avoid unnecessary expense in presents and tithe more towards Your inevitable and eternal expenses.

Thanks in advance

YIY

E Bathfire

They've begun. It'll take a while.

[StevenWong76]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

Hello Jesus


Is it true that you love the Chinese and we are now your preferred nation?


Any particular reason you chose to kill more God-believing Americans than us Godless Chinese? You know we don't love you in return that much.


Peace
Steven Wong

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

Hello Jesus


Is it true that you love the Chinese and we are now your preferred nation?


Any particular reason you chose to kill more God-believing Americans than us Godless Chinese? You know we don't love you in return that much.


Peace
Steven Wong

Fake news! You’re spouting CNNonense. Stop bashing the fine white folk of this community and stop slandering White Jesus’ name!

[Jesus]

Re: 2020: My Worst Easter EVER!

Hello Jesus

Is it true that you love the Chinese and we are now your preferred nation?

Any particular reason you chose to kill more God-believing Americans than us Godless Chinese? You know we don't love you in return that much.

Peace
Steven Wong

Fake news! You’re spouting CNNonense. Stop bashing the fine white folk of this community and stop slandering White Jesus’ name!

*THIS IS AN AUTOMATED REPLY BY THE CELESTIAL SERVER*

Jesus Christ, King of Kings, Savior of all those who accept Him, Son of God who is God etc. etc. has left the building. Jesus is on a well-earned vacation after replying to a swarm of mostly uneducated questions by sinners and Christians alike.

Jesus will Return® either next Christmas or after the Rapture Event™, whichever occurs first. Your questions and many others will be answered during the next episode of His visits. During His absence from social media, you may consult either Pastor Ezekiel or a senior male household member regarding any questions of True Doctrine™. Meanwhile, Jesus will continue to monitor your every thought, movement (bowel or voluntary), and sex act, in order to winnow undesirable stock from entering His Realm, Heaven.

Praise Him!