Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Greetings Baptists. I came to announce that I found a solution to the constant rise of witchcraft. The solution is to attack them when they gather under trees. Walpurgisnacht, the night that comes before the Worker's Day in May, should be the best date to incite their conversion. You will find them doing these kind of rituals. It is a perfect time since the Worker's Day or May Day is basically a second Halloween to Witches.

What do you think?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

We are not interested in nuns and warlocks playing tambourines and hurdy-gurdies. There was even some weird chordophone, probably a Scandinavian nyckelharpa, and I presume that was you dressed up as a goat?

Now it's great to see you're getting out more. A better choice of associates would recommended – it'd be best to contact The Pastors for advice.

[Roland]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

What do you think?

Hi Romeo,

I think the music and dancing is good. How is the food? I see a lot of potential here.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

I think the music and dancing is good. How is the food? I see a lot of potential here.

Roland, dear, "Walpurgisnacht" sounds suspiciously Germanoid to me. The food would therefore be based on boiled potatoes, boiled sausage and cabbage boiled in vinegar. If that is your sort of thing - and it may well be an improvement on what you usually eat - then you might want to stock up on heartburn tablets.

Or you could, of course, follow Sister Mitza's advice to the Eyetalian and contact a pastor for counseling.

[Roland]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

Roland, dear, "Walpurgisnacht" sounds suspiciously Germanoid to me. The food would therefore be based on boiled potatoes, boiled sausage and cabbage boiled in vinegar. If that is your sort of thing - and it may well be an improvement on what you usually eat - then you might want to stock up on heartburn tablets.

Hi Joanna, that is why I asked On a side note: that sauerkraut involves cabbage, salt and some tiny bug. It is nice. If you were sold vinegar sauerkraut, heartburn tablets might be useful. Unfortunately I don´t have pictures of the bug sauerkraut, I only thought about that and by now I ate it all.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

On a side note: that sauerkraut involves cabbage, salt and some tiny bug.

Thank you for the clarification, Roland. Obviously, sane people don't eat cabbage left to rot in its own pestilence. But I am happy that you enjoyed it.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

"Walpurgisnacht" sounds suspiciously Germanoid to me.

Of course it is: it is the name of St. Walpurga's Night in German.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

Now I have to look up Saint Walpurga.

Oh. She's from Devon. Almost as many witches there as in Cornwall. But less pirates.

She's distinguished as the patron saint of rabies.

Christians do not get rabies.

•

Well, that was easy. Perhaps the next popish festival will be more challenging.

[MitzaLizalor]

The Hurdy Gurdy

Witches are very prone to discovering obsolete (usually for good reason) instruments and using them for nefarious purposes, often involving prancing around in meadows. The hurdy gurdy is an unnecessarily complicated bagpipe substitute. Identifying witches is so important in these last days because at every opportunity they'll start performing buzzes to captivate impressionable types to make them worship false gods. The wretch pictured right was performing in that dreadful video (Roland seemed to like it for some reason) and family members may ask, "What is that thing he's playing?"

Satan would like to get one into the school orchestra so be warned and be informed if such a device makes an appearance masquerading as an innocuous novelty – or even a serious instrument with its own repertoire. This is how it works.

[MitzaLizalor]

The Nyckelharpa

Also adored by sinister types is the appalling nyckelharpa. If you watched the last introductory piece you'll have some idea how the thing functions; imagine if you removed the wheel and used a bow instead, that would approximately explain the second mystery instrument played by warlocks in Romeo Rovagnati's attempt to get us interested in Rome.

We're not. We are interested in identifying evil though, and it doesn't only come dressed as priests or in whatever fancy dress is voguish at nunneries these days. Foremost however in this context there will be intriguing airs played on bizarre instruments and here you can see similar goings-on as in the previous contraption.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

There is no bad night to hunt witches, but Walpurgisnacht is a Catholic fairy tale. Wicca are no more active on that night than any other.

[Basilissa]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

Hi Joanna, that is why I asked On a side note: that sauerkraut involves cabbage, salt and some tiny bug. It is nice. If you were sold vinegar sauerkraut, heartburn tablets might be useful. Unfortunately I don´t have pictures of the bug sauerkraut, I only thought about that and by now I ate it all.

I'm currently pissed at the aforementioned bugs.

The ones that fart in bread - they are so well behaved, they sleep in a fridge for a week and then go to work when needed.

The ones that should work with the pickling, they are much more finicky. Two years ago I made some great pickles - just a few bad jars. Last summer I used the same recipe, and the result is... not so good. I have not been content with any of the jars I opened so far. I eat them because they are still more edible than the vinegar-doused pickle-imitation one can buy in stores, but they are not great.

[Roland]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

I'm currently pissed at the aforementioned bugs.

Those pickling bugs are a strange breed. When I invite them they tend to start slow and give bad results. A few years back they ruined a large part of my best chili harvest ever. It might be that I attract lousy bugs, it might be that I live in a city surrounded by industry.


Now I only get the bugs that started at my mom´s place. She has very nice bugs, they always work out fine. I guess she is just better at getting them than I am but as she lives in a village surrounded by diverse farming I think she has a head start on me.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

Those pickling bugs are a strange breed. When I invite them they tend to start slow and give bad results. A few years back they ruined a large part of my best chili harvest ever. It might be that I attract lousy bugs, it might be that I live in a city surrounded by industry.

Now I only get the bugs that started at my mom´s place. She has very nice bugs, they always work out fine. I guess she is just better at getting them than I am but as she lives in a village surrounded by diverse farming I think she has a head start on me.

In conclusion, then, witch "hunting" at Walpurgisnacht is oxymormonic due to there being only witches present. No hunting required.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Should Christians do Witch Hunting during Walpurgisnacht?

Update: I'm going to the woods in order to preach to the witches the Gospel of Jesus Christ, hope that nothing goes wrong tonight.