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True Christians™ are often accused of being intolerant of false religions. This, of course, is true. However, we take pride in our thorough research of the lesser religions; research which enables us to better understand what motivates the gullible followers of such "faiths", so that we may better rebuke them all the way Home to Jesus©.
I would like to begin this thread with an educational and gently inclusive teaching Brother BAB shared with members of the church some time ago. If you have your own research pertaining to a false religion's holidays and/or related festivals, please feel free to post it here.
I would like to begin this thread with an educational and gently inclusive teaching Brother BAB shared with members of the church some time ago. If you have your own research pertaining to a false religion's holidays and/or related festivals, please feel free to post it here.
The Miracle of Hannukah, For All Our Yiddish Friends
In the ecumenical spirit, I thought I'd share with you the miracle of Hannukah, the festival of lights.
Once upon a time, in a land of hook-nosed cheapskates, a Jewish family sat down for a winter repast. They had Kosher meats from Hebrew National, plenty of Manashevitz wine, and a plump Christian baby ripe for the carving. The craggle-toothed Yids cackled around their food, and spoke of how one day they'd fabricate a huge event of persecution so they could take over the world.
Then, the lights went out! Shrewd Old Fievel, who always waited until the last minute to pay the electric company, had chiselled his family's way into darkness and cold. Worse yet, all of the family's money was tied up in a bagel franchise that they'd started in the South.
"Oy vey!" Feivel cried! Whatever shall we do?
And then, one by one, all of Feivel's children revealed that he had tucked away in his anus some large amount of coins. Together the plump little Jesus-deniers totalled enough stinky coinage to pay the electric bill.
For that day on, every Jew keeps up his or her ass about a month's salary. While they will pathologically deny it, that is how each Jew keeps in his or her own way, remembrance of the festival of lights.
Yours in Him,
BAB
In the ecumenical spirit, I thought I'd share with you the miracle of Hannukah, the festival of lights.
Once upon a time, in a land of hook-nosed cheapskates, a Jewish family sat down for a winter repast. They had Kosher meats from Hebrew National, plenty of Manashevitz wine, and a plump Christian baby ripe for the carving. The craggle-toothed Yids cackled around their food, and spoke of how one day they'd fabricate a huge event of persecution so they could take over the world.
Then, the lights went out! Shrewd Old Fievel, who always waited until the last minute to pay the electric company, had chiselled his family's way into darkness and cold. Worse yet, all of the family's money was tied up in a bagel franchise that they'd started in the South.
"Oy vey!" Feivel cried! Whatever shall we do?
And then, one by one, all of Feivel's children revealed that he had tucked away in his anus some large amount of coins. Together the plump little Jesus-deniers totalled enough stinky coinage to pay the electric bill.
For that day on, every Jew keeps up his or her ass about a month's salary. While they will pathologically deny it, that is how each Jew keeps in his or her own way, remembrance of the festival of lights.
Yours in Him,
BAB
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