[obadiah (On Moderation)]

Re: False Religions Register

That was your last joke, homer. I did warn you.

Who the H*ll is wash O'Hanely??? is this another joke at my expence? I'm bein crucified here folks.

[Enobarbus]

Re: False Religions Register

Who the H*ll is wash O'Hanely??? is this another joke at my expence? I'm bein crucified here folks.

Would you put a sock in your mewling pie hole? Thank you.

Son, Landover is as real as the Flames of Hell and the Love of Jesus. Thou shalt not suggest otherwise lest thou be cast off into the darkness of cybersapace and lose any chance of Salvation©.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: False Religions Register

I'm bein crucified here folks.

Oh, goody. Another whining little pansy, upset because as a guest on a Baptist Church forum, she's expected to follow some simple rules . . . like behave like a GUEST, and don't mock Jesus.

Is it really that complicated, Kristen?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: False Religions Register

Oh, goody. Another whining little pansy, upset because as a guest on a Baptist Church forum, she's expected to follow some simple rules . . . like behave like a GUEST, and don't mock Jesus.

Behave like a guest, don't mock Jesus, and lay off poor Wash O'Hanley!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: False Religions Register

Behave like a guest, don't mock Jesus, and lay off poor Wash O'Hanley!

Why IS Wash such a target for the gender-confused?

I thought Doctor Fingers dealt with the Moob issue.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: False Religions Register

I'm bein crucified here folks.

Jesus was crucified for your sins. Do you think you are too good to be crucified or something?

[Homophobiaisgay]

Re: False Religions Register

Ummmm....do you want the honest answer or the polite one?

right on! Fight the machine!!!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: False Religions Register

right on! Fight the machine!!!

Huh?

We are not a machine. We are GOD'S Favorite Church.

Dummy

[OnYourKnees]

Re: False Religions Register

He's probably a vegan, sister.

They don't get adequate protein, so their brains suffer. And soy makes the men into Homers!

[Kazoo]

Re: False Religions Register

Eh, I'm bored, so why not?

Bábism

• Bayani

Bahá'í

• Bahá'í Faith

Christianity

(see List of Christian denominations for greater detail)

• Adamites
  • Brethren of the Free Spirit
  • Picards
• Arianists
  • Arian Catholicism
• Eastern Christianity
  • Assyrian Church of the East
    • Nestorianism
      • Church of the East & Abroad
  • Armenian Apostolic Church
  • Eastern Catholicism
  • Eastern Orthodoxy
    • Western Orthodoxy
    • Other Eastern Orthodox Churches
      • Greek Old Calendarists
      • Macedonian Orthodox Church
      • Russian Old Believers
      • Russian Orthodox Church Outside Russia
      • Ukrainian Autocephalous Orthodox Church
      • Ukrainian Orthodox Church - Kiev Patriarchy
  • Oriental Orthodoxy (Miaphysitism doctrine, related to Monophysitism)
    • Antiochian Catholic Church in America
• Messianic Judaism (Only identified as Judaism by adherents and Christian missionaries; actually Jewish-rite Christianity)
• Western Christianity
  • Catholicism
    • Latin Rite (Roman Catholicism)
      • Catholic Charismatic Renewal
      • Hebrew catholics
    • Catholics not in communion with Rome
      • American Catholic Church in the United States
      • Catholic Apostolic National Church of Brazil
      • Catholic Apostolic Church
      • Celtic Catholic Church
      • Charismatic Episcopal Church
      • Chinese Patriotic Catholic Association
      • Free Catholic Church
      • Liberal Catholic Church
      • Mariavite Church
      • Old Catholic Church
      • Palmarian Catholic Church
      • Philippine Independent Church
      • Polish National Catholic Church
      • Sedevacantism
      • true Catholic Church
  • Protestantism
    • Early Protestantism
      • Pre-Lutheran Protestants
        • Hussites
          • Moravians
          • Taborites
          • Unity of the Brethren
          • Utraquists
        • Lollards
        • Waldensians
      • Puritans
        • Hebrew Christians
    • High Protestantism
      • Anglicanism
        • Anglican Communion
          • Continuing Anglican Movement
      • Calvinist sects
        • Presbyterian
        • Reformed
      • Lutherans
    • Low Protestantism
      • Baptists (from the Calvinists)
      • Methodists (from the Anglicans)
        • Salvation Army
      • Radical Low Protestantism
        • Anabaptists
          • Amish
          • Hutterites
            • Bruderhof Communities
          • Mennonites
        • Apostolic Churches
        • Brethren Denominations
          • Church of the United Brethren in Christ
          • Plymouth Brethren
          • River Brethren
          • Schwarzenau Brethren
          • Social Brethren
        • Pentecostals and Charismatic
          • Oneness Pentecostalism
            • True Jesus Church
        • Pietists and Holiness Churches
        • Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
    • Restorationism
      • Adventism
      • Christadelphians
      • Iglesia ni Cristo
      • Jehovah's Witnesses
      • Latter Day Saints or Mormons
        • Aaronic Order
        • Apostolic United Brethren
        • Church of Christ (Temple Lot)
        • Church of Jesus Christ (Bickertonite)
        • Church of Jesus Christ (Cutlerite)
        • The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
        • Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Strangite)
        • Church of Christ with the Elijah Message
        • Community of Christ
        • Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
        • Pentecostal Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
        • Restoration Church of Jesus Christ
        • Restoration Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
        • Restored Church of Jesus Christ
        • Sons Aumen Israel
        • True and Living Church of Jesus Christ of Saints of the Last Days
      • Millerites
        • Seventh-day Adventist
      • Restoration movement (Campbell)
        • Churches of Christ
  • Swedenborgianism

Gnosticism

• Christian Gnosticism
  • Ebionites
  • Cerdonians
    • Marcionism (not entirely Gnostic)
  • Colorbasians
  • Simonians
• Early Gnosticism
  • Borborites
  • Cainites
  • Carpocratians
  • Ophites
• Hermeticism
• Medieval Gnosticism
  • Cathars
  • Bogomils
  • Paulicianism
• Persian Gnosticism
  • Mandaeanism
  • Manichaeism
    • Bagnolians
• Syrian-Egyptic Gnosticism
  • Sethians
    • Basilidians
    • Thomasines
    • Valentinians
      • Bardesanites

Islam

• Ghulat including(considered separate relgions)
  • Ahl-e Haqq (Yarsan)
  • Ahmadi
  • Druze
  • Submission
  • Zikri

• Kalam Schools
  • Ash'ari
  • Kalam
  • Maturidi
  • Murji'ah
  • Mu'tazili

• Kharijite
  • Ibadi (Only surviving sect)
  • Harūriyya
  • Azraqi
  • Sufri

• Shi'a

• • Ismailis
    • Mustaali / Bohra
  • Jafari
    • Twelvers
    • Alawites
    • Alevi / Bektashi
  • Zaiddiyah

• Sufism
  • Bektashi
  • Chishti
  • Mevlevi
  • Naqshbandi
  • Tariqah
  • Quadiriyyah
  • Suhrawardiyya
  • Tijani

• Sunni
  • Hanafi
    • Berailvi
    • Deobandi
  • Hanbali
    • Wahhabi
  • Maliki
  • Shafi'i

Judaism

(see also: Jew; Hebrews; Jewish Denominations; Jewish ethnic divisions)

• Contemporary divisions
  • Conservative Judaism (Masorti/Conservadox)
    • Union for Traditional Judaism
  • Humanistic Judaism (atheistic, not always identified as a religion)
  • Karaite Judaism
  • Orthodox Judaism
    • Modern Orthodox Judaism
    • Haredi Judaism
    • Hasidic Judaism
  • Reconstructionist Judaism (regards Jewish identity as primarily cultural, not religious)
  • Reform Judaism
• Historical groups
  • Essenes
  • Pharisees (ancestor of Rabbinic/Orthodox Judaism)
  • Sadducees
  • Sects that believed Jesus was a prophet
    • Ebionites
    • Elkasites
    • Nazarenes
  • Zealots
    • Sicarii

Samaritanism

Ajivika


Ayyavazhi


Buddhism

• Mahayana
  • Madhyamika
  • Nichiren
    • Soka Gakkai
  • Pure Land
  • Tathagatagarbha
  • Tiantai
    • Tendai
  • Yogacara
  • Zen
    • Caodong
    • Fuke Zen
    • Kwan Um School of Zen
    • Sanbo Kyodan
    • Sōtō
    • Ōbaku (school of Buddhism)
    • Rinzai
• Nikaya schools (which have historically been called Hinayana in the West)
  • Theravada
    • Amarapura Nikaya
    • Vijja Dhammakaya
    • Mahasthabir Nikaya
    • Ramañña Nikaya
    • Sangharaj Nikaya
    • Siam Nikaya
    • Thai Forest Tradition
    • Thammayut Nikaya
• Vajrayana
  • Shingon Buddhism
  • Tibetan Buddhism
    • Bön
    • Gelukpa
    • Kagyupa
    • Nyingmapa
    • Sakyapa
      • Jonangpa

Hinduism

• Agama Hindu Dharma (Javanese Hinduism)
• Lingayatism
• Reform movements
  • Arya Samaj
  • Brahmo Samaj
• Shaivism
• Shaktism
• Six major schools and movements of Hindu philosophy
  • Nyaya
  • Purva mimamsa
  • Samkhya
  • Vaisheshika
  • Vedanta (Uttar Mimamsa)
    • Advaita Vedanta
    • Integral Yoga
    • Dvaita Vedanta
  • Yoga
    • Ashtanga Yoga
    • Bhakti Yoga
    • Hatha yoga
    • Siddha Yoga
    • Tantric Yoga
• Smartism
• Vaishnavism
  • Gaudiya Vaishnavism
    • ISKCON (Hare Krishna)
    • Sri Krishna Chaitanya Mission

Jainism

• Digambara
• Shvetambara

Panth Religions

• Dadu Panth
• Kabir Panth
• Nirankari

Sikhism

Is the religion created by the Ten Sikh Gurus and whose current GuruGuru Granth Sahib (spiritual leader) is

• Khalsa
  • Nihang
• Namdhari or Kuka Sikhs
• Sahajdhari Sikh

Just to name a few (gotta love Wikipedia)

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: False Religions Register

Christianity

The belief that there is a "God" who only wants white men in heaven so he can get them all on their knees and worship them. Is also known as "Chris-tee-manity."



And to clarify.

Atheism: The lack of belief in a diety, in Heaven or Hell.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: False Religions Register

Christianity

The belief that there is a "God" who only wants white men in heaven so he can get them all on their knees and worship them. Is also known as "Chris-tee-manity."



And to clarify.

Atheism: The lack of belief in a diety, in Heaven or Hell.

Denying the existence of God is not unbelief but an exercise in self-deception. You may know things, but you cannot account for anything you know. Arguing against God's existence would be on par with arguing against the existence of air, breathing it all the while. You use the universal, immaterial, unchanging laws of logic, mathematics, science, and absolute morality in order to come to rational decisions, but you cannot account for them. These laws are not the only way God has revealed himself to you, but they are sufficient to show the irrationality of your thinking, and expose your guilt for denying Him.

There is a reason that you deny the existence of God and it has nothing to do with proof. I can show this to you. Do you think that you can continue to deny God because surely somewhere, sometime, a philosopher or scientist will come up with an explanation for universal, immaterial, unchanging laws apart from God?' Did you ever try to come up with an alternate explanation on your own?

Hoping that an alternate explanation for universal, immaterial, unchanging laws can someday be found apart from God, is a blind leap of faith, or wishful thinking. Isn't it interesting that this is exactly what professed unbelievers accuse Christians of?

Please examine the real reason why you are running from God. It is my prayer that God will open your eyes and change your heart so that you may be saved from your sin, embraced by His ferocious love, and that you will tithe robustly immediately using the Paypal button at the bottom of this page.

[Shallow-izer (On Moderation)]

Re: False Religions Register

Denying the existence of God is not unbelief but an exercise in self-deception.
Nope, I'm pretty sure it's disbelief. If I looked for synonyms of disbelief, I don't think I find self-deception. Besides, you're belief in a "God" is also a form of self-deception. You're lying to yourself about the truth of the world. The truth that we're humans, made by humans, and that there exists no holy being to reward us in the end. And no source of evil to punish us.

You may know things, but you cannot account for anything you know. Arguing against God's existence would be on par with arguing against the existence of air, breathing it all the while. You use the universal, immaterial, unchanging laws of logic, mathematics, science, and absolute morality in order to come to rational decisions, but you cannot account for them.
Baka. Science and math change all the time. This is why schools have to buy new textbooks every few years. This is because the new discoveries and changes to theories and hypothesis must be accounted for.

Indeed I can account for the things I know. I learned them from school. From reading. From researching. From asking questions.

And NOT just refering to one fictional book for all the answers.

God did not make air. Air is a misture of oxygen and nitrogen, with other chemicals and vapours. These exist because they are by products from when the sun formed.

These laws are not the only way God has revealed himself to you, but they are sufficient to show the irrationality of your thinking, and expose your guilt for denying Him.

I'm not guilty one bit for not believing in the existance of a mythological figurehead.

If you seek irrationality, how about the whole Adam and Eve being the first humans?

Therefore everyone is their own brother and sister?

Incest is commited every day?

There is a reason that you deny the existence of God and it has nothing to do with proof. I can show this to you. Do you think that you can continue to deny God because surely somewhere, sometime, a philosopher or scientist will come up with an explanation for universal, immaterial, unchanging laws apart from God? Did you ever try to come up with an alternate explanation on your own?

I have proof. My own existance proves God doesn't exist. Within my human body are cells (curiously umentioned in the Bible) and within those, DNA, and that DNA can be used to traced my ancestory back ALL the way to the point where hominids evolved into homosapiens.

And I did.

I am god. This universe came into existance the second I became aware of it. Before my birth into this world, nothing existed, only till I was formed, and became aware of it, then the universe existed.

For example.

Before I joined this forum, I didn't know any of you existed. Therefore, to me, you didn't exist.

Hoping that an alternate explanation for universal, immaterial, unchanging laws can someday be found apart from God, is a blind leap of faith, or wishful thinking. Isn't it interesting that this is exactly what professed unbelievers accuse Christians of?

But it's not a leap of faith, if we have grounds to base our ideas on. We've observed humans adapting to their environment. Why do you think black people are black. Whites are white? Asains are asains? It all comes down to the environmental factours in which they lived. It's caused their previous states to change and evolve into what we see today.

Another example are dogs and how we'de domesticated them into certain breeds, through selective breeding atributes we decided we needed.

Seeing this as our examples, we can logically state that humans also evolved. From what?

Well, let's compare.

What other creature has 10 fingers and 10 toes? Is a mammal. Has hair on their body? Has over 98% similar DNA?

We find apes to fit this category. We then make the hypothesis that humans and apes shared a common ancestor.

Then we turn to the geological records.

What do we find?

Astrolopithicus Africanus.

Homo Erectus.

Homo Habilis.

There are other transitional forms I could list, but since you Christians have such a good work ethic, you can go look them up youself.

Here's a link to start you off with.

Please examine the real reason why you are running from God. It is my prayer that God will open your eyes and change your heart so that you may be saved from your sin, embraced by His ferocious love, and that you will tithe robustly immediately using the Paypal button at the bottom of this page.
I am not running from anything or anyone. It is you who runs from me and my truth. Also, don't waste your breath praying for me. Pray that you'll open your eyes to the truth soon, and give up this silly faith in an invisible imaginary friend.

Also, if you're "God's Favorite Church," why must you go begging for money? Wouldn't "god" give you all the money you need?

That is, IF he/she/it/them existed.

All praise belongs to JESUS, and his works of love, and his grace with the english tongue.

All who defy his mighty ritousness should get on their knees now and beg forgiveness.

Only then, will God Almighty deem you worthy of joining the untimate Deck Party up in Heaven.



~ Shal.

[Joh]

Re: False Religions Register

haha

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: False Religions Register

Um.. Agnostics don't believe in Satan. They believe you can't prove or disprove the existence of god. They're more of a neutral "I don't care" type, I know since I am one.