Witches invade the Military!

[Bob4God]

I was listening to a sermon by my good friend and personal hero Steve Wohlberg when he mentioned something that made me scream slightly with horror.

Apparently, not satisfied corrupting our youth, libraries and TV, the witches have now invaded the United States military!

They even have their own online coven, the Military Pagan Network!

Horrors!

It's no wonders that it has been taking us extra time to win the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, with all these witches bringing demons into the military with them.

Friends, is it not treason to allow pagans to serve in the military? Paganism is destructive and anti-Christian. The United States is a Christian nation. Pagans "serving" in the Army are therefore working against the United States. That's treason!

The military ought to be hunting these people down, not slapping uniforms on them and sending them into war with real soldiers.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

Well they let women, queers and atheists in foxholes now (thanks to the Demoncrats), so it just makes sense for them to let witches in too.

Look for bestiality to become mandatory in all branches of the military before long.

[Harold Law]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

Bein' a man of humble opinion I say we give these witches 'n homers a chance. Now hear me out brothers and sisters in Christ. We can use these abominations as human shields to protect our fine Christian soldiers. Why don't forget those homers in particular will be so hopped up on crystal meth they'll take more than a few shots to go down...

God Bless America

[WWJDnow]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

We can use these abominations as human shields to protect our fine Christian soldiers.

It is a good thought, Brother dantescritic, but don't you know that homos are usually found in the rear?

[Harold Law]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

It is a good thought, Brother dantescritic, but don't you know that homos are usually found in the rear?

I didn't even consider that brother WWJ, quite a problem we have here. God help us.

[Moo2]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

I hate to inform you all, but the freedom of religion clause in the Constitution means ANY and ALL religions. It also means that you don't have to believe in a religion. Just because protestant Christians (meaning non-Catholic) came here to escape religious persecution, does not mean this is a Christian nation.

Allowing the Pagans to serve in the military is not treason. We aren't making headway in Iraq because we don't belong there anyway. Bush just wanted a reason to go to war.

[Aristotle]

Are you a witch?

I hate to inform you all, but the freedom of religion clause in the Constitution means ANY and ALL religions. It also means that you don't have to believe in a religion. Just because protestant Christians (meaning non-Catholic) came here to escape religious persecution, does not mean this is a Christian nation.

Allowing the Pagans to serve in the military is not treason. We aren't making headway in Iraq because we don't belong there anyway. Bush just wanted a reason to go to war.

Are you a witch? If so, what are you doing posting on a god-fearing board like this? America is God's country and any heathens that don't like should go live with the Mooslims or Hindaloos. Let them see how they like it when they have their hand cut off or some red dot tattooed on their forehead.

[Talitha]

Re: Are you a witch?

Are you a witch? If so, what are you doing posting on a god-fearing board like this? America is God's country and any heathens that don't like should go live with the Mooslims or Hindaloos. Let them see how they like it when they have their hand cut off or some red dot tattooed on their forehead.

I'm sure those red dots are a sign of something evil.
You only ever see them on Furriners.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

Witches, like genies, are known for their treachery and double dealing. Having them in our nation's military just seems like a recipe for disaster if you ask me. They cannot be trusted. Whenever you think a witch is doing what you want her to do, it turns out she has been working against you all along.

So even if a witch seems to be following orders, she is more than likely undermining her superior officers with her spells and potions. And I am sure all of that evil cackling makes stealthy ground operations nearly impossible as well.

[Moo2]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

How would you know? Have you ever asked help from a witch? The ones I know are true in their aid. But what would you ever know of it?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

How would you know? Have you ever asked help from a witch?

Why would we do that when God specifically warns us not to consult them?

Leviticus 20:6 And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Witches invade the Military!

Pastors, I volunteer to go out unto the military forces of America and serve as a witch hunter. Of course I will have to use the time proven manners of finding witches, seraching for the Witches Mark.

The violence used against accused witches in order to discover the witches' mark included torture; "To try to force a confession, priest[s] applied hot fat repeatedly to Catherine Boyraionne's eyes and her armpits, the pit of her stomach, her thighs, her elbows, and 'dans sa nature' — in her vagina.

Applying my hot fat to all of the vaginas I can find in the armed forces will be my penance for my past sinful ways.