[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Eh. I'll hold you to that, Zeke. But I don't have a ride, nor do I want to go. Why don't you come hang out with me? We'll have a blast. Me, you and Clown. Maybe Mom and a few others. We can play 'Who's the better killer?'

Lady, TRUE Christians kill no one like The Bible commands!

[hellion]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Ok, first of all, the event you are referring to was held in October, so you are far too late. Secondly, this is not "play". Lastly, we are not interested in your homer buddy or his firecrackers. Our LBC Security boys have all the know-how in that department.

But if you are interested in a little hunting party, come around this Sunday after Church, and I'll get a few of the brothers together. Don't pack a toothbrush.

Eh. I'll hold you to that, Zeke. But I don't have a ride, nor do I want to go. Why don't you come hang out with me? We'll have a blast. Me, you and Clown. Maybe Mom and a few others. We can play 'Who's the better killer?'

[OnYourKnees]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I want to play. I'll play as a witch though. I know a guy named Nick (who has an extremely nice ass) and he knows how to make explosives.

What part does Nick's (SAINT Nick's?) exceptionally friendly donkey* play in your sick, Satanic orgies of perversion and heresy?



*Note how this choice of phrase does NOT leave us wondering if you harbor Lezbean fantasies about penetrating this Nick's posterior, perhaps with a strapped-on vibrating device or large fruit or vegetable.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Don't pack a toothbrush.

...Because one will be provided. (Scroll down to 20.)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I want to play. I'll play as a witch though. I know a guy named Nick (who has an extremely nice ass) and he knows how to make explosives.

Ok, first of all, the event you are referring to was held in October, so you are far too late. Secondly, this is not "play". Lastly, we are not interested in your homer buddy or his firecrackers. Our LBC Security boys have all the know-how in that department.

But if you are interested in a little hunting party, come around this Sunday after Church, and I'll get a few of the brothers together. Don't pack a toothbrush.

[hellion]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

October is the High-Season for witch hunting and we have some important guidelines to discuss. Please print a copy of this bulletin to keep in the field.

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

Oct 1-10 Archery and Muzzleloading combined event. NO LIMIT but you still need to provide genitals for proof of sex.

CONTEST: Fattest Witch, Ugliest Witch, Fattest&Ugliest Witch.

Oct 11-21 Rifle and Handguns, including automatic weapons and hand-thrown explosive devices. NO LIMIT but (if you can find them) please provide genitals for proof of sex.

CONTEST: Same as above.

Oct 22-31 ANYTHING GOES! All weapons and methods, NO LIMIT, NO RULES!

CONTEST: Most Creative Kill, Funniest Kill, Best Kill Photo.

PLEASE POST YOUR QUESTIONS/COMMENTS AND CONTEST ENTRIES ON THIS THREAD.

I want to play. I'll play as a witch though. I know a guy named Nick (who has an extremely nice ass) and he knows how to make explosives.

[Brother Love]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Well now I missed this one (one of my favorite sports is WITCH huntin') but I'll be sure and get in on it next season.

[lilith]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Yes, we could cut off your **** and make **** *****!

Jeez! I was only being helpful!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Brother, you are much more resourceful than I at first imagined. You may go far in our GODLY institution.

I can only pray that Jesus will see fit to continue using my creativity to do His work.

I see that I have now been blessed with Membership! Some day I hope to become a True Christian(tm), but realize that I will need to liquidate one or two businesses in order to submit a sufficient donation.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Oh...I don't know...I'm sure we could think of more...um...unneccessary appendages than fingers.

Yes, we could cut off your **** and make **** *****!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Hmm, the freezer is empty.

On a completely unrelated subject, it appears that Manuel and the other laborers are having an unauthorized BBQ out in the servants' shacks. Must be some sort of Messican holiday.

Brother, you are much more resourceful than I at first imagined. You may go far in our GODLY institution.

[lilith]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Heh. Good luck catching Lilith or I. At the very least you'd lose a finger in the process, and still come nowhere near catching us.

Oh...I don't know...I'm sure we could think of more...um...unneccessary appendages than fingers.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

You're even more disturbing than the rest of these guys. And that's saying a whole lot.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Hmm, the freezer is empty.

On a completely unrelated subject, it appears that Manuel and the other laborers are having an unauthorized BBQ out in the servants' shacks. Must be some sort of Messican holiday.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

They don't count?

So then what am I to do with all the False Christian genitalia I've detached from the original owners? I've got an entire freezer full. Rosa has carefully stored each one in a Ziplock freezer bag, to prevent freezer burn.

Oh, ummmm.....I think you need to contact the police for disposal of those remains.