[Jesus is Lord]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I would advise selling it as soon as possible. There's no telling what demonic powers it may have (including influencing your White wife's feeble mind), and the liebrls will be after you soon enough for not enrolling it in secular, monkey-worshipping school. You can donate the money you receive for the sale to Jesus for His birthday. Try listing it on ebay.

Wouldn't it be better to sell the child to Landover? Not only would doing so avoid the sickular eBay, which the liebrals keeep a close eye on and might get Brother Remy into some trouble, it would also benefit Landover and America. It would either be purged of the demons infesting it and becom a good Christian soldier or would be sent to Hell by Jesus. Either way Brother Remy, Landover, Jesus, and the child will benefit.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I would advise selling it as soon as possible. There's no telling what demonic powers it may have (including influencing your White wife's feeble mind), and the liebrls will be after you soon enough for not enrolling it in secular, monkey-worshipping school. You can donate the money you receive for the sale to Jesus for His birthday. Try listing it on ebay.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

With 7 easy kills racked in New Guinea I was getting bored so I hopped a flight back to good old Iowa. The first night out me and the Mrs bagged a family of wickers, but they had their little demon seed with them. I was going to finish off the little crying wuss, but the wife felt sorry for him. Women are so emotional when it comes to little ones.

Hosea 13:16 [16] Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

God doesn't spare babies, much less children, so why should I back out. I was going to ignore her, but then she... um, convinced me otherwise.



Anyway, we have the little guy down in the basement. All I had was an old aquarium we hadn't used since we moved to Freehold. Anybody have any ideas on what I should do with it? Do you think it's safe keeping it? I'm not sure how old they are before they start casting spells. I just hope it's at least as smart as a cat and buries its poop in the sand.

Any advice?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

.
I should think so, we have posters all over Landover and I have her wearing an orange vest to avoid any mistakes.

Umm.......orange.....are you sure.....

Now look here, we did drop leaflets on the woods instructing them how to surrender to Christ.

I saw one of those. I don't quite understand what you mean by paragraphs #2 and #3.
Maybe you could explain it? And it was REALLY hard to find the thing, if I hadn't been running from that spider and tripped over out for a stroll in an unusual area I would have never seen it.

As I said, I am in a nice, centrally heated and air-conditioned house for my beliefs, you are a spider infested cave Rachael for yours. Now who is the clueless fool?

I'm not in the cave all the time.
And you'll thank me later when the new 'Wu Lins special' arrives on the menu.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Well she is my mother Brother Temperance and we are commanded by God to honor them, even if they are hell bound, Mary worshiping scum. I'd feel bad about shooting my mother, sister or ex because it would break God's law. Anyway I said they kinda reminded me of them. In sort of vague way. It's just why am I feeling anything like that to these subhuman wickers?

Look, this feeling I had really confusing. I’ve never had anything like it before. When I had that fat wicker cornered I put the barrel of my rifle to her chest told her to prepare to meet her dark master in hell. She began sobbing about how she didn't want to die and why was I being so mean to her. It was clear crystal to me she was just some girl who didn't know any better with a weight problem. She got into this occult thing to try and fell better, ended up with the wrong crowd and now she was in way over her head. If things went a little different she might be a big boned wife to some TRUE Christian(tm). That's what really creeped me out. See her like that! Even understanding her life story. What the heck is that??? Is that this "contentious" thing Brother Saved was talking about???

Listen Brother BJ; the doubts or hesitations you are experiencing can be explained in no other way than demon possession. Report to Pastor Pistle at once for prayer and treatment. Don't forget your credit cards. I'll be praying for you too, if your love offering is large enough.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I believe that's the landscape artist of one of BJ's neighbors. He's....different.

Moon

We all spotted that he was queer, do you have any information apart from that?

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

However, have you any thoughts on what this might be?!

Edward Scissorhands. old

[MoonFlower]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I believe that's the landscape artist of one of BJ's neighbors. He's....different.

Moon

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I have a question for the other True Christians(tm) here: I caught something this past weekend that I am unsure of where to store in my collection! It seems certain that this is a witch or warlock of sorts, and is definitely of the devil. However, have you any thoughts on what this might be?!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I thought your mother was a Papist, your sister fornicated with Jews, and Trish was a feminazi? Surely, if anything, that'd add to the buzz?

Well she is my mother Brother Temperance and we are commanded by God to honor them, even if they are hell bound, Mary worshiping scum. I'd feel bad about shooting my mother, sister or ex because it would break God's law. Anyway I said they kinda reminded me of them. In sort of vague way. It's just why am I feeling anything like that to these subhuman wickers?

Look, this feeling I had really confusing. I’ve never had anything like it before. When I had that fat wicker cornered I put the barrel of my rifle to her chest told her to prepare to meet her dark master in hell. She began sobbing about how she didn't want to die and why was I being so mean to her. It was clear crystal to me she was just some girl who didn't know any better with a weight problem. She got into this occult thing to try and fell better, ended up with the wrong crowd and now she was in way over her head. If things went a little different she might be a big boned wife to some TRUE Christian(tm). That's what really creeped me out. See her like that! Even understanding her life story. What the heck is that??? Is that this "contentious" thing Brother Saved was talking about???

[Brother Temperance]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I've got mixed feeling about the begging. On one had it is real funny they ask me for mercy. I mean how stupid can they be? You ask Jesus for that. It's just every now and then I get this funny feeling before I pull the trigger that, heck, I don't know. It's like they somehow remind me a little bit of my mother, or my sister or my ex-wife Trish. You know, like Mom/Sis/Trish were crying there and not the witch. I pull the trigger quick then before it creeps me out.

Anyone know what that is? Is this some kind of witch power?

I thought your mother was a Papist, your sister fornicated with Jews, and Trish was a feminazi? Surely, if anything, that'd add to the buzz?

[Glendora Christianson]

We Got a Live One!

I know Mrs. Rogers was asing for a live wiccaden for the older folks to tease a little. But I'm not sure what we caught. This gal certainly looks like a witch or something to me. And when we take her gag off, she starts spewing demonic chants in the most annoying mono-tone (worse than Cher) voice. Anyway, for those of you who want a look, she's tied up in our shed.

PS This gal can't even spell her own name!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I've got mixed feeling about the begging. On one had it is real funny they ask me for mercy. I mean how stupid can they be? You ask Jesus for that. It's just every now and then I get this funny feeling before I pull the trigger that, heck, I don't know. It's like they somehow remind me a little bit of my mother, or my sister or my ex-wife Trish. You know, like Mom/Sis/Trish were crying there and not the witch. I pull the trigger quick then before it creeps me out.

Anyone know what that is? Is this some kind of witch power?

I believe this is what sickulars calls "concence" (or however they spell it?) but True Christians know;
That it is is only demonic magic at work! A way for Satan to try and stop people from doing the will of JESUS.

Your resolve is being tested by the devil himself brother, stick to your guns and be careful.
Don't let any such devil inspired feelings get into the way of doing as Jesus commands.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

It's perfectly legitimate here, but somehow it's just not as satisfying as slaying some back talking gothtard. I can't even understand what they're saying when they are, I assume, begging for their lives.

I've got mixed feeling about the begging. On one had it is real funny they ask me for mercy. I mean how stupid can they be? You ask Jesus for that. It's just every now and then I get this funny feeling before I pull the trigger that, heck, I don't know. It's like they somehow remind me a little bit of my mother, or my sister or my ex-wife Trish. You know, like Mom/Sis/Trish were crying there and not the witch. I pull the trigger quick then before it creeps me out.

Anyone know what that is? Is this some kind of witch power?

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Things are going well here in New Guinea. It was the first time my wife actually fired a weapon at a living creature. There was some satanic ritual going on in the local woods. We approached the witches with some of the Christian men from a village in which Pastor Gargalo achieved great renown. They had a bond fire going. They were shaking their necklaces, throwing their hands up, and speaking their ooga booga language. They painted their faces and were probably doing crack based on how they were acting. They must have figured Satan would protect them because they didn't even try and escape. It was almost too easy. The local villagers surrounded the bon fire and kept the witches at bay with machetes. Then me and my wife took them out one by one execution style. I didn't want to take any chances so we burned the bodies in case they came back as flesh craving lepers. We gathered the bodies the next day.



It's perfectly legitimate here, but somehow it's just not as satisfying as slaying some back talking gothtard. I can't even understand what they're saying when they are, I assume, begging for their lives. I remember my first Halloween kill. I began to preach to this one wicker harlot. I was so nervous. She replies with typical blasphemies against Christ. I tell her about Exodus 22:18. She laughs and questions my faith saying, "How many witches have you killed? You have to kill witches or else you are just as such a sinner as I am. That's why I don't believe in your god..." The look on her face when I told her I will follow all of God's commandments was priceless. She threatened me and called me a sicko. That first backhand across her face was oh so sweet. She tried to run, but she had these sorta high heel pumps and this long tight fitting black dress that hampered her ability to run. It was just like in the movies when she fell. She screamed, but I shut her up quick. Nobody came to her aid. Her tears practically washed off that gothic whore paint. I savored that moment. Next I ripped off her...

I seem to be reminiscing. *sigh*