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  • Buddha, The Fat Slant, is Upset

    If you are anything like me, you will know that Buddha is famous for being fat, sitting under trees and uttering such ‘mystic’ sayings as, “A man who pisses in his boots does not stay warm for long”; “Caterpillars don’t make jello” and "Are we having fun yet?"

    Buddha also is worshiped by millions of slants, which makes him a false god, whose idols should be destroyed and/or melted down if they’re worth anything.

    Some sore-throated Darkie singer called Akon (which is probably Afreekan for ACORN!) has made a video and had hired nubile white women (who needs stereotypes?) in minimal attire to dance in front of a graven image of Buddha and now idol worshipers are throwing bricks. What lessons can we learn here?

    1. Worshipers of false gods are unreasonable and should come unto Jesus.
    2. Darkies like white women but have little intelligence
    3. Darkies are obsessed with sex.
    4. Buddhists are filled with mindless violence
    5. Buddha can’t take care of himself – Jesus would have smitten them all.

    Here’s the report:

    Akon 'Sexy Chick' Video Considered Blasphemous To Buddhists, Sri Lankan Visa Denied
    [ATTACH]11911[/ATTACH]
    Singer Akon has postponed his April concert in Sri Lanka after the island nation's government said they planned to deny his visa on Tuesday.

    Their announcement followed a violent incident on Monday, when more than 200 protestors in the city of Colombo threw rocks at the offices of Capital Maharaja, Akon's concert promoters. Chevan Daniel, Maharaja broadcasting's head of news, told The Associated Press that the mob - some carrying signs that read "Stop Akon Now" -- broke windows and hit cars parked near the building. Four employees were reportedly injured.

    The protesters were incited by Akon's video, "Sexy Chick," the #3 hit song he recorded for Dave Guetta's One Love album.

    The video features bikini-clad women dancing suggestively in front of a Buddha statue during a pool scene. The clip "triggered a lot of disappointment among Buddhists all over the world," a government spokesperson said in a statement.
    (See the statue in the video about a mile away on a hill at 1:00, 1:43 and 1:50. but you’ll have to be quick.)
    Attached Files
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

  • #2
    Re: Buddha, The Fat Slant, is Upset

    Buddhism is such a ridiculous religion.

    -They believe Buddha is the descendant of a King in the sky, and was born around the winter solstice.

    -They believe that Buddha had a miraculous birth from a woman through impossible means.

    -They believe a messanger from God came to Buddha's mother and impregnated her without sex.

    -They believe a wiseman came to the Buddha's earthly father and foretold that Buddha would be a great leader.

    -They believe gods came from heaven to celebrate his birth, offering presents.

    -They believe his birth was marked by signs from heaven

    -They believe his earthly family was of royal lineage

    -They believe Buddha had vast wisdom at the age of 12

    -They believe that after Buddha was enlightened, he went off alone to meditate, where an evil spirit tried to tempt him to give up.

    -They believe Buddha knew the thoughts of other men

    -They believe Buddha could cure blind men

    -They believe Buddha can walk on water, and can make his followers walk on water too

    -They believe Buddha could stop bad weather at his command

    -They believe "Buddha" is their Father and they are children in his light.

    -They believe Buddha's coming was prophesied for ages before.

    -They beleive Buddha wanted to set up a Kingdom of Heaven on earth

    -They believe Buddha told people to pluck out their eyes

    -They beleive that When Buddha died: The coverings of [his] body unrolled themselves and the lid of his coffin was opened by supernatural power

    -They believe In the year 217 B.C. Buddhist missionaries were imprisoned for preaching; but and angel, genie or spirit came and opened the prison door, and liberated them.

    How ridiculous.

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    • #3
      Re: Buddha, The Fat Slant, is Upset

      Even the mooselimbs in Afghanistan had the right idea about Buddha idols.
      This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

      Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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      • #4
        Re: Buddha, The Fat Slant, is Upset

        I thought buddhists weren't supposed to get upset about anything, after all.... it's all an illusion..... ooooohhhhhhhhh
        Drama queen

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        • #5
          Re: Buddha, The Fat Slant, is Upset

          Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
          Buddhism is such a ridiculous religion.

          -They believe Buddha is the descendant of a King in the sky, and was born around the winter solstice.
          [...]
          -They believe that When Buddha died: The coverings of [his] body unrolled themselves and the lid of his coffin was opened by supernatural power

          -They believe In the year 217 B.C. Buddhist missionaries were imprisoned for preaching; but and angel, genie or spirit came and opened the prison door, and liberated them.

          How ridiculous.
          I worry when I see such lists. I worry that the weak of faith and the gullible out there will think, "Oooo, that sounds likely" and wander off chanting prayers.
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Buddha, The Fat Slant, is Upset

            Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
            A man who pisses in his boots does not stay warm for long
            Yet people follow this idiot? Amazing, there seems to be no limit to stupidity.
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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