10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

[Nefiron]

Okay.
Since most of the users here are older than my grandmother I would keep this as short as possible for you believers.

this is:

10 Reasons why Pastafari is actually god.

1: He created midgets
2: The Religion explains global warming and piracy is having a connection.
3: Pirate cloth is teh shit!
4: He is everywhere, there is pictures that proves! Because we can PROVE that he exists!
5: Hell is a myth! You can sin much as you want! (Start peeing on your couch)
6: It's a denial of darwinistic theory. The stuff you guys hate with all your heart.
7: Everyone loves spaghetti and meatballs!
8: There is no need to have a religion named after a boy name, when you can have a religion nearly named after some delicious food!
9: You can laugh of hatemails. The High Priest gets them a lot!
10: Do you hear the voices too?

Btw: To sign up for the new curch, you can visit. http://www.landoverbaptist.net

Post people!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Translation:

[Nefiron]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

How could you use such a dirty word?

I hope that you get your punishment!

You should really take this serious.

[Mark Christ]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

1: He created midgets
Midgets are evil spawn of Satan
2: The Religion explains global warming and piracy is having a connection.
Global warming is a myth created by homer tree hugging hippy demoncrats
3: Pirate cloth is teh shit!
Turning sh*t into cloth is impressive but not God like
But remember: "And it shall come to pass in the day of the LORD's sacrifice, that I will punish the princes, and the king's children, and all such as are clothed with strange apparel." Zephaniah 1:8
4: He is everywhere, there is pictures that proves! Because we can PROVE that he exists!
If it's not in the Bible (KJV1611) then it's not true
5: Hell is a myth! You can sin much as you want! (Start peeing on your couch)
You'll change that belief while the demons are invading your backside in Hell
6: It's a denial of darwinistic theory. The stuff you guys hate with all your heart.
Pirates are just monkeys with fancy clothes
7: Everyone loves spaghetti and meatballs!
The garlic eating Eytalian catylicks invented spaghetti
8: There is no need to have a religion named after a boy name, when you can have a religion nearly named after some delicious food!
Nothing is more delicious than the love of Jesus
9: You can laugh of hatemails. The High Priest gets them a lot!
Huh?
10: Do you hear the voices too?
Yes. Praise the Lord and one true God and Jesus.

[Nefiron]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Midgets are evil spawn of Satan

If it's not in the Bible (KJV1611) then it's not true

Midgets isn't mentioned in the bible. So they are not spawn of satan!

And what makes the bible more true than other books anyway?

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I can only think of 1 Reason why God is not a flying spaghetti monster!

Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth

Spaghetti came after the creation of the earth

[Secret]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I can only think of 1 Reason why God is not a flying spaghetti monster!

Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth

Spaghetti came after the creation of the earth

It appears that you cannot disprove the fact that Spaghetti didn't exist before the heaven and earth.
Because of this simple fact, I will continue to identify myself as a Pastafarian; believer in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Because you cannot disprove it, it has just as much evidence of existance as your god.

[Wide-Open]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Midgets isn't mentioned in the bible. So they are not spawn of satan!

You might want to retract this friend.

Leviticus 21:20
Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;

I hope the rest of your "information" is more reliable, but I highly doubt it.

[Levi Jones]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Congratulations on your newly created religion. I'm sure L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith would be proud.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

It appears that you cannot disprove the fact that Spaghetti didn't exist before the heaven and earth.
Because of this simple fact, I will continue to identify myself as a Pastafarian; believer in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Because you cannot disprove it, it has just as much evidence of existance as your god.

Spaghetti facts;
► Your false religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has only been around for 5 years.
► Spaghetti appeared in Italy in the 12 century.

Proof your false religion appeared after Jesus came to earth, and God making the world.

I believe in God and follow the teachings in the King James Bible. I will never follow your false religion.

Jeremiah 7:9 Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not;

[Secret]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Spaghetti facts;
► Your false religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has only been around for 5 years.
► Spaghetti appeared in Italy in the 12 century.

Proof your false religion appeared after Jesus came to earth, and God making the world.

I believe in God and follow the teachings in the King James Bible. I will never follow your false religion.

Jeremiah 7:9 Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not;

► Your false religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has only been around for 5 years.

Good to see some rationale, No. it is true that Pastafarianism has just recently shown millions the light, however the point you are trying to make is not quite right; since you are saying that Christianity is any more valid of a religeon because of it's age, then you are also saying that the Kemetic religeon of the Egyptians are more valid for showing physical signs older than Jesus (pyramids). Why would you say something like that in surrounded by your peering bretherens? why do you hate jesus?

► Spaghetti appeared in Italy in the 12 century.

As I mentioned before, you cannot disprove that spaghetti didn't exist in a form of a supernatural being before the Earth was made, therefore making it irrelevant as for when we feeble humans discovered Spaghetti. jesus appeared in the middle east some centuries ago, are you saying that he didn't exist before then? such blasphemy even within this 'devout board'

Seriously though, the site regulators that have been keeping this operation so convincing for so long need to do something about you youngbloods.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

You are just making your own path to hell for not believing in the Lord. Cast aside your false God and believe in the Lord.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Everyone loves spaghetti

Spaghetti is for gays. Why is our favorite tomato sauce addicted Jo Freddie still not in this thread?

[Secret]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

You are just making your own path to hell for not believing in the Lord. Cast aside your false God and believe in the Lord.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one path to salvation.
You cannot disprove the existance of this divine sentience, therefore it exists.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the one path to salvation.
You cannot disprove the existance of this divine sentience, therefore it exists.

Spaghetti has it origins in China - So I presume that your beliefs are based around the scourge that is Communism

It is very curious that you would omit that little oversight !!!

Psalm 38:12 (New King James Version)
12 Those also who seek my life lay snares for me;
Those who seek my hurt speak of destruction,
And plan deception all the day long.