[Secret]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Why do you find this concept so hard to understand?

We do not worship food, Spaghetti is symbolic of The Lord, we are not cat-o-licks, we do not think we are eating the flesh of Our Lord, We eat Pasta because HE told us to, it pleases Him to see us eating something that looks like him so he gave us the ingredients and the knowledge to make Pasta.

ProvHerbs

RAmen, Brother. RAmen.

[Secret]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I hope you continue to spread the word of His Worship to these Barbaric Heathens and Blashphemers.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Why do you find this concept so hard to understand?

We do not worship food, Spaghetti is symbolic of The Lord, we are not cat-o-licks, we do not think we are eating the flesh of Our Lord, We eat Pasta because HE told us to, it pleases Him to see us eating something that looks like him so he gave us the ingredients and the knowledge to make Pasta.

ProvHerbs

The offer of a True Christian hug still holds if you repent from worshiping your false god.

Be careful of the devil and his trickery. The whore strippers he has promised you are mostly likely male.


Acts 13:10 And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

The whore strippers he has promised you are mostly likely male.

They are not whores, they are Holy creations, as for them being male or female, this is covered in the Holy Texts, they will be what each person needs and desires requires them to be.

The Book of Penelope
a history of a venerated ancient prophet
Chapter II

10 and out of the building an endless line of cute guys
11 (with the occasional cute redheaded woman, told you she was trendy!).
12 Any way she watched and thought "that's the LAST time I mix my beers".
13 She approached one of the cute guys and noticed he was wearing only a G string and some 'pasties'.
14 MMMmmm nice she thought all but the pasties.
15 "It must be hard to look manly in pasties", she said.
16 "You don't know the half of it"! the cute guy said.
17 "What is this place?" cried Penelope.
18 "Don't cry" said the cute guy "for this is the stripper factory"!
19 "The Stripper factory?" cried Penelope.
20 "Yes our Lord FSM created it for all those who would not be big jerks and go around telling people what to believe".
21 "Well that seems decent of FSM but tell me why are there only cute guys and the occasional redheaded woman?
22 I'm trendy but not everyone else is".
23 "It is because you are here.
24 As with the beer volcano, so it is with the stripper factory.
25 YOU and your desires dictate the out-put....

The Book of Fearsome Pirate Pete

5:2 “When you die, your soul, which I think is immortal, but don‟t quote me on that, will find it‟s way to Pastafarian Heaven, where there is a Volcano of Beer, and a Factory of Strippers.”
5:3 “But O Noodly Lord, Oi be prefer‟n Grog t‟ Beer… Will Oi have to drink only Beer in heaven?” Fearsome Pirate Pete asked the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
5:4 “What?
5:5 Of course not!
5:6 Oh, I forgot again, the Beer Volcano is really a Volcano of any beverage you like, whenever you like it.
5:7 I prefer Beer, so that‟s all it is to me, I forget sometimes,” The Flying Spaghetti Monster explained, “Similar rules apply to the Stripper Factory.”

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

They are not whores, they are Holy creations, as for them being male or female, this is covered in the Holy Texts, they will be what each person needs and desires requires them to be.

The Book of Penelope
a history of a venerated ancient prophet
Chapter IIThe Book of Fearsome Pirate Pete

So you are saying you are gay. You posted a reference about cute guys for the hell you will be living in. After all we are talking about your eternal damnation.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

So you are saying you are gay. You posted a reference about cute guys for the hell you will be living in. After all we are talking about your eternal damnation.

I quoted from The Book of Penelope a history of a venerated ancient prophet It was for her the factory produced cute guys and the occasional redhead. Lisa your comprehension skills are not being displayed very well today.

And anyway my sexuality is of no concern of yours.
In the words of the FSM

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go f*** yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

3. Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I quoted from The Book of Penelope a history of a venerated ancient prophet It was for her the factory produced cute guys and the occasional redhead. Lisa your comprehension skills are not being displayed very well today.

And anyway my sexuality is of no concern of yours.
In the words of the FSM

I think you are faltering Jo Freddie. We are talking about your eternal damnation and you bring up cute guy strippers. Would it not have been better to something relevant to you. Unless you like cute guys.

Don't push your mis-quoting onto me.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I have always believed Jo Freddie to be a noodle humping homo. I hope that clarifies things.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I have always believed Jo Freddie to be a noodle humping homo. I hope that clarifies things.

I think he has slipped and admitted it Brother Billy Bob

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I think he has slipped and admitted it Brother Billy Bob

He said the guys were "cute". That is a bold admission of homersexurality. No wonder he's so obsessed with noodly appendages! The only sauce he likees on his noodles is man-sauce! What a wretched, filth-loving homer!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I think you are faltering Jo Freddie. We are talking about your eternal damnation and you bring up cute guy strippers. Would it not have been better to something relevant to you. Unless you like cute guys.

Don't push your mis-quoting onto me.

I just quote the Holy scriptures, the example of the venerated ancient prophet Penelope, it is for Her the Factory produces cute guys (and the occasional red head).

For myself the factory would produce strippers commiserate with my tastes, desires and needs.

My sexual preferences are of no concern of anyone but my partner and myself.

Frequently Asked Questions

1 Ages ago, there was a young, inquisitive pirate who was called Frequently. He had a tendency to ask a lot of questions
2 One day, his mates told him of the glory that was the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
3 Wanting to know more, Frequently sought out the wise and learned Dalai Llama, who was in fact an alpaca, and Frequently Asked Questions.
.
.
.
86 Frequently Asked: “Speaking of beer, what kind of beer is in the volcano?
87 What if it's not my favorite?
88 What are the strippers like?
89 What if I'm a woman and want a man?
90 What if I'm looking for a relationship, not just short-term fun?
91 What if...”
92 And the Dalai Llama Answered: “He is omniscient and omnipotent.
93 You'll be well taken care of in Heaven, in a way that will suit your wants and needs exactly.”

You want examples of female strippers from the scriptures?

Pirate Aaahhhhrrrrr’s Letter to the Privateers
Chapter 3

13 And the stripper said, "The Trouser Snake holds firm. Your mainmast stands proud and erect, and the wood is as hard as ever. One-Eye Johnson stands full and tall at the helm, sad for the loss of his captain, but hard-set and ready to plunder booty."

Chapter 4

2 It may have been days that the stripper told me of Our Noodly Master and his benevolence, wisdom, and sauciness.
3 In that time she told me all that I will someday tell you, that ye may be disciples in Pasta, that ye may spread the word, and that ye may pass the parmesan.
.
.
.
9 Though she told me much, and though I had not pencil nor paper with which to take notes, I remembered all that the stripper told unto me, including that she said "unto" a lot, so that I be usin it in me everyday speech to this day.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

My sexual preferences are of no concern of anyone but my partner and myself.

As usual you left out Jesus.


He cares deeply about such things. In fact He's right there watching you 24/7. He has to sit through your every revolting performance.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

As usual you left out Jesus.


He cares deeply about such things. In fact He's right there watching you 24/7. He has to sit through your every revolting performance.

Yes I left out the mythical son of a mythical being who you say is mythically watching me, and quoted the scriptures of The One True God, Blessed be His Noodly Appendages.

I don't worry about Wonder Woman watching me either for she is as real as your jesus.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

You will find out the hardway good Sir ...Do as I did learn from from the good Pastors here

Zechariah 10:2

For the idols have spoken vanity, and the diviners have seen a lie, and have told false dreams; they comfort in vain: therefore they went their way as a flock, they were troubled, because there was no shepherd.

Cast aside also your rampant homosexuality

If you fail to heed these words of God from the KJV then you are certainly doomed to burn in hell

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

.

Here are some words from Leviticus for you

Leviticus 26
17 And I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies: they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you.
25 And I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy
30 And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.
31 And I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours.
37 And they shall fall one upon another, as it were before a sword, when none pursueth: and ye shall have no power to stand before your enemies.
38 And ye shall perish among the heathen, and the land of your enemies shall eat you up.