[god is a lie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I think you have been smoking your salad side dressing.

I worship the Real True God, you on the other are worshiping a plate of spaghetti. You have now condemed other people to hell with you.

at least we know undeniably that spaghetti exists... and is awesome
that's more than i can say for that other thing you worship...

PS. please don't respond with "your going to hell for saying that" its getting tiresome and i know that the place does not exist

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

So your spaghetti "god" is all about the pirates and midgets. He/Sh/It makes no dispensation regarding the earthly people who have sought to express the possibilities of pasta through an almost infinite variety of forms.

I had looked into your foolish religion in the past and found a certain cold indifference to my people. The Italians . . . curse those trumpet players, where are they?!

No mention or charitable thought towards my people can be found in your "gospel" . . . okay, where was the pianist who was supposed to strike the dramatic cords just now . . . darn it all!

At LBC, at least they care enough to warn me against the inherent dangers that are associated with my ethnicity-- the tendency towards papism and the teasing need to feel the smoothness of rosary beads slipping through my fingers-- the thrum of passion in my veins that can lead to either lovemaking or gunplay with assault weapons-- the habitual use , some would say misuse, of garlic.

The feet of my family are no longer quite as purple but the pull towards the old country is strong. LBC offers me a cleaner, less purple-footed, surer, conservative, saintly way to salvation with only mild hints of garlic.

I laughed at your silly attempts to explain the universe and returned to the True Christian Way in which all things stretch forth from the Hand of Almighty God -- Who we can assume HAS hands,( unlike some other so-called deities), since we humans were made in His image, (minus the manparts for some of us.)

Begone you betrayer of truth! God is not pasta, but pasta is the work given to my people by God. How else could we turn such simple substances into so many fanciful forms if not for the guiding Hand of the Great Sculptor Himself?

When next I bow my head over a plate of rotini, or linguini, or fettucini, or any other ini, I will thank the Lord Jesus for my meal and my reasonably clean feet.

Dismissively Yours,

Handmaiden

Are you trying to tell me that the role of your people has been overlooked in the Holy Text, this tell me you have but skimmed our Holy books... Yes where are those trumpet players.......

Here are but some of the texts that reference your people and it is clear that The Lord FSM holds them in high esteem.

The Book of Fearsome Pirate Pete

2:10 “I‟ve heard of good Italian food high in carbohydrates, and apparently very good for the soul.”

The Pastalamentations of Father Jerome
Written while in exile among the heathen Tacobeanians

6 Behold, in my search for Thine Holy Pasta I had entered “Antonio‟s Fine Food ala Italiano.” At least so proclaimed the unevenly flashing neon sign above the entrance door.
7 And in the poorly-lit room I saw tables which were gaudily covered with red-white checkered cloth. My heart rejoiced. Pasta be praised, for is not Our Lord Spaghetti with Meatballs of Italian-Pastafarian persuasion? Surely, I shall find my Lord Pasta in this house.

Pirate Aaahhhhrrrrr’s Letter to the Privateers
Chapter 3

5 She led me to a small Italian bistro, which looked like it had sprouted out of the very ground. There were no roads leading to it, no sidewalk, no parking lot. But there was a sunny patio with small, two-seat tables with checkered tablecloths.
6 The real kind of tablecloth, not that vinyl crap they have at Pizza Hut.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

[...]PS. please don't respond with "your going to hell for saying that" its getting tiresome and i know that the place does not exist

Read THIS and weep sinner.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

PS. please don't respond with "your going to hell for saying that" its getting tiresome and i know that the place does not exist

She can not help herself for she is stuck in the cycle of the Drunken Stripper.

[handmaiden]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Pirate Aaahhhhrrrrr’s Letter to the Privateers
Chapter 3

Quote:
5 She led me to a small Italian bistro, which looked like it had sprouted out of the very ground. There were no roads leading to it, no sidewalk, no parking lot. But there was a sunny patio with small, two-seat tables with checkered tablecloths.
6 The real kind of tablecloth, not that vinyl crap they have at Pizza Hut.

Okay, I'll go along with you on the the crappy vinyl tablecloth observation.

My mom would pack up the three youngest of us kids and our Grandma and we would bring a day long lunch to my two uncles who were in a state institution for mentally disadvantaged.

(I'm going with the PC term now, I have no idea what they really called it in the late fifties, early sixties) (Oh, and no cracks about how many of my relatives have been in mental institutions, actually more of us have been in jail than "hospitals".)

We would meet our uncles, who were basically big kids to us, and head over to an indoor picnic area. Grandma would lay out the spread, starting with a fine, clean, linen red and white checkered table cloth.

There was fresh Italian bread and the fragrance of cheeses. Most importantly there was Grandma's slow cooked, tomato sauce. She would bring rigatoni rather than a messier pasta because of my uncles, (and us kids, I guess).

Looking back, I realize that we were on the grounds of a rather somber, state institution, visiting two badly brain-damaged men. But nothing about it feels creepy. It was an adventure. And the best part began when Grandma spread out the soft, red and white checkered tablecloth . . .

But I still disdain and dismiss everything you and your silly noodle-headed "god" stand for.

Nostaglically Yours,

Handmaiden

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

She can not help herself for she is stuck in the cycle of the Drunken Stripper.

Jo Freddie, you are the one stuck in worshiping the idol, plate of spaghetti monster.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Jo Freddie, you are the one stuck in worshiping the idol, plate of spaghetti monster.

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa yet again with the display of mis-comprehension, we are not Cat-o-licks, we do not worship a comestible.

No point me repeating the same thing over and over again, I will not be drawn into the Drunken Stripper act with you.

So here are some words of wisdom from the Holy Scriptures.

ProvHerbs

56 Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
57 A meatball in the hand is worth two on the plate.
58 Do unto others what you would pay a stripper to do unto you.
59 Never eat yellow snow.
60 Think not disparaging of the night BUT cast thine eyes upon the moon for FSM put it there to remind you of a plate of pasta.
61 A donkey with a load of noodles is still but a donkey.
62 The Gas that comes from eating a full Plate is but the Divine noodle's way of saying, 'You’re Welcome.'
63 Ask not what your pasta can do for you, just eat it.
64 Blessed are the pastamakers...theirs is the Kingdom of cheese.
65 Use only the wooden spoon preparing the Holy Sauce in my best pan, otherwise you will surely feel the back of my not-so-Noodly appendage upon thee.
66 Cake tastes good.

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa yet again with the display of mis-comprehension, we are not Cat-o-licks, we do not worship a comestible.

No point me repeating the same thing over and over again, I will not be drawn into the Drunken Stripper act with you.

So here are some words of wisdom from the Holy Scriptures.

ProvHerbs

You really do have to stop believing in your idol PSM (Plate of Spaghetti Monster).

I do not want see any of you sick drunken stripper acts or disgusting noodle appendages. You are really sexually depraved.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

You really do have to stop believing in your idol PSM (Plate of Spaghetti Monster).

I do not want see any of you sick drunken stripper acts or disgusting noodle appendages. You are really sexually depraved.

Lisa Thee are The only Drunken Stripper here my dear, sober up, accept The One True God, The Fling Spaghetti Monster, as your Lord and Creator and I will give you a big Hug

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Lisa Thee are The only Drunken Stripper here my dear, sober up, accept The One True God, The Fling Spaghetti Monster, as your Lord and Creator and I will give you a big Hug

You must be smoking you side salad again.

You are the one worships the false idol PSM. I am not a drunken stripper, and will never be. So stop having you perverted fantasies about me. I am sure you would much rather chase after your cabin boy, tickety boo

[THE_HATER]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Congratulations on your newly created religion. I'm sure L. Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith would be proud.

someone might be proud

[THE_HATER]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

Lisa Thee are The only Drunken Stripper here my dear, sober up, accept The One True God, The Fling Spaghetti Monster, as your Lord and Creator and I will give you a big Hug

I believe in the great flying spaghetti monster as my only true god

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

You must be smoking you side salad again.

You are the one worships the false idol PSM. I am not a drunken stripper, and will never be. So stop having you perverted fantasies about me. I am sure you would much rather chase after your cabin boy, tickety boo

It is you that has the fantasies about Tickety Boo, you know nothing of their sex or sexuality, nor of mine, so what ever your mind has us doing in your dreams is all your own work. It tells nothing about any form of perversion that we may or may not be involved in but everything about the way your mind works.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

I believe in the great flying spaghetti monster as my only true god

[Lisa H]

Re: 10 Reasons that god is a flying spaghetti monster!

It is you that has the fantasies about Tickety Boo, you know nothing of their sex or sexuality, nor of mine, so what ever your mind has us doing in your dreams is all your own work. It tells nothing about any form of perversion that we may or may not be involved in but everything about the way your mind works.

You are so funny Jo Freddie. You should stop smoking your side salad and stop worshiping PSM. I hope you still have the pictures I posted beside your bedside table to remind you of where you will spending eternity.