Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

[DolliMoans]

I've been going through the fridge to do a bit of cleansing, and I've decided to take a closer look to throw out unwanted items. I am tossing out undesirable food stuffs including many vegetables - carrots, parsnips, eggplant, cucumber ... and many others. I want to remove all unsafe foods that are too phallic looking and thrusting shaped.

As a parent, I only want to serve clean, God-based food for my family; so far, this thread has been most helpful for recipes. What I'd like to know is if there is a downloadable Christian Food Safe Guide pdf I can tape to the freezer door to distinguish healthy Jesus-safe items, from the junk food? I need to compile a good list if one does not exist already, I hope to get back soon with my results.


Tonight, I'm testing out a new dish; corn-chipped beef stuffed with gorgonzola and yogurt marinade. I'll let you know the results!

[Basilissa]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

You could, dear, start by searching for threads that have "foods" in their title. There, Mrs. Mary Whitford's list of forbidden foods might be useful for you, as well as Mayor Hold's expose on terrorist foods. There are a couple of useful threads on the subject started by yours truly as well.

[DolliMoans]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

Oh thank you dear, that makes it so much easier. Though there is one entry I feel I must add, that is those odd-shaped vinegar bottles!








Well as it looks like the leg-works been done, I think I'll devote this thread to showing my kitchen creations. Mr. Moans is a man of basic taste, doesn't like me experimenting, but perhaps I can entice him to try new things.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

Well I for one think that this whole vegetable thing needs some consideration here, and it's been a while since I made my point on the matter.

I scoured the internet and came up with the following information on the amount animals have to eat to make meat:

4.5 pounds of grain to make 1 pound of chicken meat
7.3 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of pork
12 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef

Now God wasn't too particular what we were suppose to eat and left that choice up to us from the bounty He provided us (Genesis 1:29-30). The Garden of Eden was like grazing in one giant supermarket - if you happen to get hungry whilst walking down a path there were plenty of fruits, nuts, grains and other things that were just hanging there to be picked and snacked upon.

Now consider what would happen to most Americans if we planted what God would consider a "Garden of Eden" on our properties - we would get an endless stream of citations and fines handed out from some meddlesome government bureaucrat for violating some ordinance. This approach is clearly impractical in today's world.

If you're at all concerned about the "environment", consider how many more barrels of oil it takes to get all that grain to your house as opposed to meat. While we don't necessarily care about the "environment" (Jesus takes care of it), the simple matter is that it costs more - and as thrifty Christians we are concerned.

It makes much more sense (and cents) to grow the grain and feed the animals on the farm and just ship the meat. This is also in economics what is called the division of labor. The animals eat the grain and vegetables, and we eat the meat.

Now we can't leave this subject without addressing what Green Peace and all the other enviro-wacko's have been raising a stink about recently - cow farts. Yes, all that methane (a "green house" gas) from cow farts is supposed to be contributing to Globull Warming. And what - all those millions of hippie hipsters in Portland eating all those whole grains, berries, and granola doesn't produce any farts? Now wonder the place stinks.

[Dana723]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

If God meant for us to eat vegetables, He would have made them delicious. He invented meat to taste good for a reason.

[DolliMoans]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

If God meant for us to eat vegetables, He would have made them delicious. He invented meat to taste good for a reason.

I can only imagine what you're "meat" of preference is, Dana.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

I can only imagine what you're "meat" of preference is, Dana.

Of course you can, because she's the one with a dirty mind.














Aaaaand here it is: /s

[Dana723]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

I can only imagine what you're "meat" of preference is, Dana.

Chicken, actually.

[DolliMoans]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

Chicken, actually.

I doubt any Real Man™ would want your chicken legs, Dana.

[DolliMoans]

Re: Should vegetables be banned from fridge?

Somehow, I came across this wretched video. This woman is simply *bananas* for cock-shaped fruits and veggies, no doubt punctuating her Satanic ditty with sexual references unfit for children (her intended target audience!) including such lewd suggestive acts involving bunny rabbits and corn!

I included a sample photo taken from the music video she made, here demonstrating her size preference for corn dildos. If anyone deserves to burn in Hell, it's Dr. Jean!