Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch"

[Larry Lee]

The word just reached me from Wasilla, that Bristol Palin is allegedly making the rounds at the hockey rink, in hopes of finding a "husband." Which is only natural, I guess, considering that it's been practically a year since she first freshened.

But that's no excuse, Bristol, for acting like the immoral slut you were in high school! (before you dropped out and dropped Tripp)

What Bristol desperately needs are some experienced prayer partners, who will do her right, at this time when she sorely needs it. Also, I've asked Rev. Jim to attend to Bristol personally, with his Spirited laying on of hands. I haven't heard back from him on whether he'll be able to fit in a quick trip to Wasilla or not.

[SUV]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

Perhaps a nice, soothing Telephone Call from the nearly-human Heather at Account Services would settle her down some, Brother Lee

[HTannor]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

I fear little good will come of Bristol's wandering ways.

Just think of the immoral behavior that went on in our precious Sarah's home when the little trollop was upstairs fornicating while Sarah was in the kitchen baking pies!

Now we have Sister Sarah - away from home(!) - trying to scratch out a meager living selling books on a nationwide tour.

Bristol probably feels she has the freedom to continue to "screw" up her life by cavorting with some of those ill-bred toothless hockey players. And we all know the origin of most of those hockey bums - dare I say it? - Canuckistan! Or worse, Swedenskiland!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

That girl is really going rogue isn't she?

I'll pray for her (again).

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

I'm not sure if I can minister to Bristol or not. I haven't talked to Sarah since March, and my calls haven't been returned yet. I assume she's very busy with her book tour. Personally, I think her daughter's soul is more important than her book (which is an excellent read and I highly recommend it!).

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

Nephew Zebulun says there's a rumor going round that she taken an interest in a nigra boy.

Just saying...

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

I believe that itching is called "herpes".

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

Nephew Zebulun says there's a rumor going round that she taken an interest in a nigra boy.

Just saying...

What is it with girls these days and their interest in "reparations"?

Every colored I've offered appropriate reparations to has rejected it. I still carry it in my pocket: a one-way ticket to Liberia.

[Larry Lee]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

Nephew Zebulun says there's a rumor going round that she taken an interest in a nigra boy.

Just saying...

I'm afraid Nephew Zebulun is correct, Brother. Bristol Palin has spending a large amount of time with Tank Jones

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

Oh dear, Bad to worse! I mentioned this to Nephew Zebulun and he told me that Tank Jones (if that is his name) is very popular in Australia* so there's a chance he might move there.

*Actually nephew Zebulun said he was "Huge down under"

[Emil Sledge]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

So where is Bristol's daddy, Todd in all this? Why is he letting her run amok? There's probably nothing wrong with her that a little fathering and corporal punishment wouldn't have cured a long time ago.

[HTannor]

Re: Prayer positions! Bristol Palin's cooter is getting "the itch

So where is Bristol's daddy, Todd in all this? Why is he letting her run amok? There's probably nothing wrong with her that a little fathering and corporal punishment wouldn't have cured a long time ago.

Todd is probably off trying to shoot a moose to keep the family fed.

He works very hard in his role as a father, but sadly can't be there all the time. I'm sure that as soon as he mounts the snowmobile, that little trollop is off and running.