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  • Brother Temperance
    Senior Usher
    True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
    A very nice young man
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15621
    #31
    Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

    Originally posted by lilith View Post
    While sewing's not really one of my skills,I'm sure I could sew the male member to the leg - or superglue,that'd do it.
    Wouldn't it make it a bit difficult for you to serve your customers if you had a Ukranian superglued to you by the unmentionables?
    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

      Comment

      • lilith
        Night Hag
        • Sep 2006
        • 1232
        #32
        Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

        Not really - since the appendage would sewn/superglued to THEIR leg.
        In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

          Comment

          • Mrs. Rogers
            compassion personified
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2692
            #33
            Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

            Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
            Wouldn't it make it a bit difficult for you to serve your customers if you had a Ukranian superglued to you by the unmentionables?
            All in a day's work for Lilith; in fact, you have described her Tuesday Morning Special.

            Originally posted by lilith View Post
            Not really - since the appendage would sewn/superglued to THEIR leg.
            ... your Art and Craft Workshop with An Ancient Working Girl, no doubt. Can't you crochet doilies instead? More ladylike, less mess.
            True Christians are Perfect!

            Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

            Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

            For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

              Comment

              • lilith
                Night Hag
                • Sep 2006
                • 1232
                #34
                Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                All in a day's work for Lilith; in fact, you have described her Tuesday Morning Special.


                ... your Art and Craft Workshop with An Ancient Working Girl, no doubt. Can't you crochet doilies instead? More ladylike, less mess.

                Crochet doilies?
                What,when I can do all those OTHER things with a crochet hook?
                In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 78555
                    #35
                    Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                    Originally posted by lilith View Post
                    Crochet doilies?
                    What,when I can do all those OTHER things with a crochet hook?
                    Filthy harlot! We do not want to hear about how you clean the wax out of your ears, or any of the innumerable wrinkles and crevices covering your abused old body. Please think before you post such disgusting imagery! Jesus reads these forums you know!!
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • lilith
                        Night Hag
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 1232
                        #36
                        Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Filthy harlot! We do not want to hear about how you clean the wax out of your ears, or any of the innumerable wrinkles and crevices covering your abused old body. Please think before you post such disgusting imagery! Jesus reads these forums you know!!

                        Why is it that Christians,with their grubby little minds always jump to the worst conclusion?

                        I was of course referring to the usefulness of a crochet hook when threading elastic into something.
                        In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78555
                            #37
                            Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                            Originally posted by lilith View Post
                            Why is it that Christians,with their grubby little minds always jump to the worst conclusion?

                            I was of course referring to the usefulness of a crochet hook when threading elastic into something.
                            Once again, you cause Jesus to vomit with your perverted ravings. I can assure you that not even one True Christian in this Godly forum is interested in hearing your technique for sheathing condoms on the shriveled, disease-ridden tallywackers of your Ukrainian sailor clientèle.

                            Some things are better left unsaid, and any proper Christian lady would know that.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

                              • lilith
                                Night Hag
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 1232
                                #38
                                Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                Once again, you cause Jesus to vomit with your perverted ravings. I can assure you that not even one True Christian in this Godly forum is interested in hearing your technique for sheathing condoms on the shriveled, disease-ridden tallywackers of your Ukrainian sailor clientèle.

                                Some things are better left unsaid, and any proper Christian lady would know that.

                                Brilliant,Zeke!
                                Excellent idea - I'd never have thought of that - why is the ever so "pure minded" chrsitians always know these things?
                                In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                                  Comment

                                  • Pastor Ezekiel
                                    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                     
                                    • Sep 2006
                                    • 78555
                                    #39
                                    Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                                    Shout Glory! The 2012 Purity Ball is coming!
                                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                      Comment

                                      • Jeb Stuart Thurmond
                                        Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
                                         
                                        • Jun 2007
                                        • 6572
                                        #40
                                        Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                                        Due to a computer bug I lost the pictures from last year's purity ball. That's a serious loss, because those girls were so pure, back then.

                                        Does anyone have a backup? Especially of what's her name, with the pimples all over so you couldn't tell which bumps were nipples and which weren't....So pure. So virginal.
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                                          Comment

                                          • Deaner
                                            Christ's Love Messenger
                                            True Christian™
                                            • Sep 2006
                                            • 5932
                                            #41
                                            Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                                            Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
                                            Due to a computer bug I lost the pictures from last year's purity ball. That's a serious loss, because those girls were so pure, back then.

                                            Does anyone have a backup? Especially of what's her name, with the pimples all over so you couldn't tell which bumps were nipples and which weren't....So pure. So virginal.
                                            Google Purity Ball and hit images; there's a motherload. This took me three seconds...

                                              Comment

                                              • Bobby-Joe
                                                Landover Security Superviser
                                                Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                                                NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                                                True Christian™
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 18405
                                                #42
                                                Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                                                Originally posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
                                                Due to a computer bug I lost the pictures from last year's purity ball. That's a serious loss, because those girls were so pure, back then.

                                                Does anyone have a backup? Especially of what's her name, with the pimples all over so you couldn't tell which bumps were nipples and which weren't....So pure. So virginal.
                                                Last years was pretty good, at lest it looked that way from doing security on the outside. Stacy had one brief little incident about ranting about bears again and that was it. I hope this year's purity ball goes well.

                                                Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                                                Hot Must ReadThreads!


                                                Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Roberta
                                                    Anti La Leche League Organizer
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Jan 2008
                                                    • 1817
                                                    #43
                                                    Re: Purity Ball coming up! No diddling this year

                                                    For all you dads--these are on sale right now.

                                                    http://www.limogesjewelry.com/Custom.asp?productid=11865&mr:trackingCode=4857932D-C481-DE11-B712-001422107090&mr:referralID=NA
                                                    Come climb my mountains.

                                                      Comment

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