Fun games for children (no violence)

[Nobar King]

Maybe this topic will help other parents. There must be some good games out there that aren't violent, agressive, revolting, or blasphemous.

Maybe your little ones need some practice organizing your home library of religious doctrine? Try the library game:

[BIRDBRAIN2008]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

What a yawner

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

What a yawner

I see, so what you would prefer for you child? Games like "Grand Theft Auto" were drug crazed blacks rape and murder white woman after white woman? Is this your idea of "child's entertainment"?

[tLakota]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

What about normal games like freeze tag, jump-rope and tether ball? Jump rope may be inappropriate for boys, but still...

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

What about normal games like freeze tag, jump-rope and tether ball? Jump rope may be inappropriate for boys, but still...

I wouldn't allow my children to participate in such unwholesome activities. Tag encourages children to touch one another. Tether ball is played around a giant metal tallywacker. Now, I will grant you that I am a bit prudish and find Family Circus to be risque humor; however, I think anyone with a shred of decency would side with me about these "normal" games.

[tLakota]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

In that case, what about red rover, sandboxes, and swings?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

When I was a boy, the only games I was allowed to play was Bible Quiz, cleaning my father's weapon arsenal blindfolded, and experimenting on servants. And look at me, I'm a True Christian™ Pastor!

[tLakota]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

When I was a boy, the only games I was allowed to play was Bible Quiz, cleaning my father's weapon arsenal blindfolded, and experimenting on servants. And look at me, I'm a True Christian™ Pastor!

Experimenting? Remember that I swore off debate in this forum, so I'm literally just curious.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

In that case, what about red rover, sandboxes, and swings?

Red Rover? People should always avoid a woman during her monthly curse, and they certainly shouldn't do that with her!

[tLakota]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

Red Rover? People should always avoid a woman during her monthly curse, and they certainly shouldn't do that with her!

You must have never played it then. Red rover is a test of collective strength. There are two lines of kids lined up in battle, you call someone over from the opposing line and they try to break through the line. But if you can repel them, your team gets a point. So all the strong kids tend to make teams and call over the skinny weak kid so they can win, and no one wants to be on the losing team. So it actually has nothing to do with women.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

You must have never played it then. Red rover is a test of collective strength. There are two lines of kids lined up in battle, you call someone over from the opposing line and they try to break through the line. But if you can repel them, your team gets a point. So all the strong kids tend to make teams and call over the skinny weak kid so they can win, and no one wants to be on the losing team. So it actually has nothing to do with women.

Red Rover involves one child diving into a group of other children holding hands. From there, the game essentially turns into an orgy. Rather than permitting their children to play this lecherous game, parents would be better off sodomizing their sons and breaking their daughters' hymens themselves.

[Nobar King]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

The bubble wrap simulator isn't really a game, but it sure is fun!

[JennyD]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

When I was little, the boys used to play a game called "Smear the Queer". I understand it's still quite popular among young (and middle-aged!) men in Freehold, but I recall the Pastors deciding to set a minimum age limit for the game. After all, young children occasionally make an error in judgment when choosing the "Queer", and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we don't want a repeat of the Youth Pastor Marty incident.

Freehold Zoo lost two very valuable she-bears that day, several members in good standing lost their children, and little Jimmy Olsen's left leg never WAS found. (The pallbearers said his coffin was by far the lightest of the group, because his foot had gone to Heaven before him.)

Instead, I suggest teaching your young boys and girls to play Save the Queer! Arm them with this fine educational literature and send them to the mall, Wal-Mart, public restroom, Catholic confessional booth, or other place homersexuals are known to frequent. Give them some signs to look for, and have them pass the information to their "marks" (OK, they're more "marys", but you get the idea)!

Sure, they may miss the mark now and then, but surely nearly anyone they'll find at a mall is a sinner of one sort or another. And they'll gain valuable experience in witnessing to the unSaved!

Let us know how your children do!

[Nobar King]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

It's supposed to be fun games.

[JennyD]

Re: Fun games for children (no violence)

It's supposed to be fun games.

Brother Nobar, what could be more fun than saving a sinner from an eternity in God's Lake of Fire?

I suggest keeping a scoreboard with "Heavenly Mansion Points". After all, those who save more souls grow in the Lord's estimation; as Heaven has many mansions, doubtless those who save the most souls will earn the largest and most elaborate eternal residences.

As they gain "Heavenly Mansion Points", they go from a 12-foot yurt shared with a dozen others (the base dwelling) to a singlewide trailer, to a suburban tract home, a McMansion, and then a custom mansion. More points means more features, and they get to choose their own.

Once they reach the custom mansion stage, they get to choose their own architect, whether in Hell (Frank Lloyd Wright, Zaha Hadid, Frank Gehry, Howard Roark, Renzo Piano, the Green brothers, Le Corbusier, Palladio . . .) or in Heaven (er, I'm drawing a blank).

See, they learn valuable witnessing skills, envision themselves in Heaven, and have fun doing it!