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  • Enobarbus
    Professor of English Landover University
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 3496

    #91
    Re: Atheism for kids

    Originally posted by Darren Ingram-Myers View Post
    You're aware, I trust, that many Christians are theistic evolutionists who believe that both God and evolution can exist.
    Liebral heretics -- such people are not True Christians™ and are destined for the deepest and hottest parts of hell along with demoncrats and homers.
    Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

    Comment

    • Enobarbus
      Professor of English Landover University
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 3496

      #92
      Re: Atheism for kids

      Originally posted by hellion View Post
      I already explained to you evolution in a previous post that you apparently haven't read yet. And no, I don't believe the 'Big Bang' theory. And your god theory isn't far off from it, so I don't know why you penalize my beliefs. Life didn't suddnely just appear like one guy just clapped his hands and there was a vast universe (that he never uses anyway, so why does he have it?) and people and animals. I don't think you've gone far enough into the evolution theory to make accusations about it. And there have been scientific experiments to prove evolution and how it existed. Although we don't know for sure, it's A LOT more believable than god suddenly said I want people, for no reason whatsoever. And you have NO evidence except for the bible. What if the bible wasn't written by god? It was written by man and passed down as beliefs and religions. Then you have nothing to defend your religion.
      You don't believe in the Big Bang? What do you believe in? Evilution, by the way, has nothing at all to do with the beginning of the universe or the beginning of life, just about how different species came about. It is nonsense nevertheless.

      We can infer that God exists, because there is no other explanation. If one is walking along the beach and finds a watch in the sand, a quick examination will convince the rational man that this must have been created or made by some intelligent being -- one can infer the existence of a watchmaker. By the same token when observing the World and what is in it, we can infer the existence of a creator. That either the watch or the world came about by chance is not a rational belief.
      Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

      Comment

      • Enobarbus
        Professor of English Landover University
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 3496

        #93
        Re: Atheism for kids

        Originally posted by hellion View Post
        Beating and degrading kids is going to drive them further away from god. What do you think happened to Marilyn Manson? He was sent to a christian school and they tried to scare him into submission. Now he hates christianity because the teachers gave him terrible nightmares about demons and ultimately helped in ruining his childhood.
        That doesn't happen to everyone who goes to a Christian school. At Landover run schools if we can't scare the demons out of a child we'll beat them out. We have a 100% record of success.
        Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

        Comment

        • Enobarbus
          Professor of English Landover University
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 3496

          #94
          Re: Atheism for kids

          Originally posted by hellion View Post
          Sodomising? I prefer it in the vagina. And it's Mr. Manson (actually Mr. Warner). He has a penis.
          I thought you said that you were a virgin?
          Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

          Comment

          • hellion
            Nasty and Mean-Spirited
            • Nov 2006
            • 564

            #95
            Re: Atheism for kids

            Originally posted by Enobarbus View Post
            I thought you said that you were a virgin?
            Doesn't mean I don't masturbate.
            "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

            Moderatio est Figmentum

            Comment

            • hellion
              Nasty and Mean-Spirited
              • Nov 2006
              • 564

              #96
              Re: Atheism for kids

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              No, there's all kinds of variety in there: Freezings, flayings, scalpings, burnings... enough variety to keep you busy till the end of time, which is handy.
              OOH!! Kinky. Atleast I won't be bored. I think I'm going to enjoy Hell.
              "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

              Moderatio est Figmentum

              Comment

              • Pastor Al E Pistle
                Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 9323

                #97
                Re: Atheism for kids

                Originally posted by hellion View Post
                OOH!! Kinky. Atleast I won't be bored. I think I'm going to enjoy Hell.
                You have ruined any possible credibility you ever had.....which wasn't much....by insisting that your teeny-bopper pothead friends are the best sources of information about police codes and the names of bands. Why do you think they are called 'potheads'? Because of their intelligence and abilities? You are about to be put on moderation since you have demonstrated that you are a retard.
                Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                Comment

                • hellion
                  Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                  • Nov 2006
                  • 564

                  #98
                  Re: Atheism for kids

                  Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                  You have ruined any possible credibility you ever had.....which wasn't much....by insisting that your teeny-bopper pothead friends are the best sources of information about police codes and the names of bands. Why do you think they are called 'potheads'? Because of their intelligence and abilities? You are about to be put on moderation since you have demonstrated that you are a retard.
                  Bands? What bands? And how many times have you threatened to put me on moderation? Honestly, you've said that so many times, it's completely lost meaning. And I never said potheads were best sources for police codes. I said they would know the most about pot. I would hope you of all people wouldn't know a lot about pot. Apparently I was wrong. Do you smoke pot?
                  "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                  Moderatio est Figmentum

                  Comment

                  • Enobarbus
                    Professor of English Landover University
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 3496

                    #99
                    Re: Atheism for kids

                    Originally posted by hellion View Post
                    Bands? What bands? And how many times have you threatened to put me on moderation? Honestly, you've said that so many times, it's completely lost meaning. And I never said potheads were best sources for police codes. I said they would know the most about pot. I would hope you of all people wouldn't know a lot about pot. Apparently I was wrong. Do you smoke pot?
                    I thought you said that you got your information about police codes from potheads?

                    We minister to those who take pot. In my ministry in the pits of sin in central Christchurch I am brought almost daily into contact with the dregs of society who smoke pot, fornicate, indulge in whoredoms, and even homerism. It is very difficult work, ministering to such people, but has to be done. I look forward to a reward in heaven for my efforts. I am also able to retire every now and again to the Landover mission compound in the South Otago high country, where, apart from the wiccans and hippies that live in the forests at the back of the compound, and usually keep well away from us, there is little contact with sinners.
                    Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                    Comment

                    • Brother Temperance
                      Senior Usher
                      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                      A very nice young man
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15621

                      #100
                      Re: Atheism for kids

                      Originally posted by hellion View Post
                      Bands? What bands? And how many times have you threatened to put me on moderation? Honestly, you've said that so many times, it's completely lost meaning. And I never said potheads were best sources for police codes. I said they would know the most about pot. I would hope you of all people wouldn't know a lot about pot. Apparently I was wrong. Do you smoke pot?
                      No, I do not smoke pot, in the present tense. However, before I saw the light and turned my life over to Jesus, I did commit any number of sins, including smoking. And inhaling, which just goes to show that anything Democrats can do, True Christians™ can do better! However, that is all in the past, for Jesus' blood has washed me clean.
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Al E Pistle
                        Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 9323

                        #101
                        Re: Atheism for kids

                        Originally posted by hellion View Post
                        Bands? What bands? And how many times have you threatened to put me on moderation? Honestly, you've said that so many times, it's completely lost meaning. And I never said potheads were best sources for police codes. I said they would know the most about pot. I would hope you of all people wouldn't know a lot about pot. Apparently I was wrong. Do you smoke pot?
                        CERTAINLY NOT! I don't smoke ANYTHING. In fact, I had the state legislature make smoking illegal in every public and enclosed place in this entire state. If people want to smoke they should go and sit inside of a burning house.

                        Furthermore, I don't drink alcohol or soda pop. I allow myself ONE cup of coffee every morning with a slice of dry, whole wheat toast. Other than that, I drink only bottled water.
                        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                        Comment

                        • Ixi
                          Wretched Unsaved Goth
                          Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 844

                          #102
                          Re: Atheism for kids

                          Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                          Sorry, but women are addled, wicked and punished by GOD. They are smaller, weaker, dumber, bitchier and are good for cooking, cleaning , baking little soldiers for JESUS and not much else.
                          Nah, not really. Well, the girls you hang out with in Landover are probally docile and bitchy, but not us.
                          A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                          Comment

                          • Rachael Van Helsing
                            HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 5131

                            #103
                            Re: Atheism for kids

                            Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                            Furthermore, I don't drink alcohol or soda pop. I allow myself ONE cup of coffee every morning with a slice of dry, whole wheat toast. Other than that, I drink only bottled water.
                            The good Pastor's telling the truth. He wouldn't eat or drink anything that would make him (even more) gassy.
                            sigpic
                            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Al E Pistle
                              Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 9323

                              #104
                              Re: Atheism for kids

                              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                              The good Pastor's telling the truth. He wouldn't eat or drink anything that would make him (even more) gassy.
                              Dear Mrs. van Buttsplatter. Please keep your opinions to yourself
                              Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                              "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                              Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                              Comment

                              • Ixi
                                Wretched Unsaved Goth
                                Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 844

                                #105
                                Re: Atheism for kids

                                Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                                Dear Mrs. van Buttsplatter. Please keep your opinions to yourself
                                How the heck did you get Buttsplatter out of Helsing?
                                A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                                Comment

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