[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

You can always try the anti cranky baby cap:

What a wonderful invention Brother! Electrocute them when they are acting up! I love it!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

You can always try the anti cranky baby cap:

If that cap gives off anything lower than 500 V, you're basically coddling the child.

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

What I would do with all my little cousins when they were babies was to just duct tape their mouths shut when they got too noisy. After awhile the only thinig I would ever have to do is hold up a roll of tape and they'd shut their god damned traps lickity split.

[SUV]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

And with neegroe children, you can simply wet their lips and paste them to the wall

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

And with neegroe children, you can simply wet their lips and paste them to the wall

I am reminded of that old Velcro on the ceiling trick too.

Also, some more passive parents still use Tupperware to quiet down their baby. I am especially in favor of the Tupperware method in church and I'll tell you why...

Baby starts screaming, Mom scolds baby, Husband swats wife for interrupting Pastor Pistle's sermon (and she deserves it!).

Liberals think it is not OK to use Tupperware due to a warning sign that now appears on the box. If you take a careful look at the warning sign, any fool will realize that Tupperware is warning folks to NOT PUT BABIES THAT ARE TOO BIG INTO THE BOX - NOT SAYING YOU CAN'T PUT THE BABY IN A PROPER SIZED TUPPERWARE. HELPFUL MOTHER GLENDORA

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

I must say that I agree with Pastor Zeke's recommendation of mere spanking. Call me old-fashioned, but I have yet to find anything work so well in enforcing obedience in children. I am in the middle of a 2-year, $7 million dollar research project funded by a great many churches, so this is a big deal for me. Pastor Zeke and I have spent many hours over the past months researching different spanking devices (paddles vs. electric cord vs. switches), and.... Well I won't spoil my report just yet, but I can just say that I have never been so excited as when researching this. And eventually, if you apply spanking just right, you can get to the point where just holding up a switch will have your child cowering in the corner in fear, probably with their diapers soiled Now that's efficient parenting!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

I am constantly disappointed by the laxity with which "modern" parents treat their baby's safety - the idea is to keep the child out of harm's way. The Bathfire babies were all placed in this until they were 3 years old. I market it now and have dropped the voltage to 110v following the odd complaint.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

Another Handy TIP:

Always carry a new roll of Duct tape with you when you go visiting friends and family. This way you can still keep the precious baby out of harms way without a cage or baby carrier.

[David(idiot)]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

im glad my family wasnt christian they didnt spare the rod but wow you take it to the extreme

[Nobar King]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

im glad my family wasnt christian they didnt spare the rod but wow you take it to the extreme

I don't think you've seen extreme, yet.

[David(idiot)]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

im sorry i dont believe in hell unless you send me to venus...im going to go tape my new born to a wall thats exactly what i good parent should do

[SUV]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

Sweet Cheeses - so snottyduck has a daughter, too!:



What is he - some sort of International Playboy?

[David(idiot)]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

was that what your parents called you in the stone age when you were born .....snotty duck......go abuse a kid and tell people there bad for not believing your selfesh religion....dont ever patronize me or say anything about my daughter again .....one day the remnants of your religion is going to be rid of this world...a day i get to see your body lie hopeless with disbelief

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

was that what your parents called you in the stone age when you were born .....snotty duck......go abuse a kid and tell people there bad for not believing your selfesh religion....dont ever patronize me or say anything about my daughter again .....one day the remnants of your religion is going to be rid of this world...a day i get to see your body lie hopeless with disbelief

She wasn't even talking to you or about you. We have another member of this forum who's username is Snotty Duck.

This whole forum doesn't revolve around you.

You owe someone an apology.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[SUV]

Re: Tips for Cranky Babies

With such a great desire to fit in, Pastor, can it be long before he becomes a True Christian himself?