[Jim Farmer]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Mr Machine, I am only aware of what Mistress Cookie said in her text message, which has deeply disturbed me. Your suggestion that I have lied is preposterous!
As for you, your status as a registered predator has not changed in all the time I've known you.

[Dolores de Barriga]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

I received a message, I think it was from her. My number is [removed by mods for privacy reason]. Does that sound like one of the numbers? I am unable to divulge on here what it said.
Anyway, if she is to be believed, if I were Dolores, I would be getting there ASAP to preserve Mistress Cookie's moral virtue. And Dolores, please rescue Mistress Cookie, but I have serious reservations as to whether you should give Mr Machine a lift anywhere (if you understand what I mean).

I'll be there in a few days, Mr. Farmer. In the meantime, I'm sure Mistress Cookie is safe under the protection of a fellow True Christian.

Edit:

O-oh... I've just read what it says in Mr. Machine's signature. I'm leaving Chicago tonight. I should be in Cherokee tomorrow morning.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Bite your tongue, Jim Farmer, BITE YOUR DAMNED TONGUE!

Miss Cookie has already been rescued, and she just needs some time before she recovers the full use of her mental faculties, such as they are.

Meanwhile, I suggest you think good and hard about Proverbs 19:5 and Exodus 20:16, lest the Lord smite you something powerful!

Brother Faith Machine; you are making this poor lady nervous with your all caps and language. I see the warning, and I will not disregard it, and have obeyed it. Meanwhile, I have also seen the kind, generous, True Christian side of you, so I am not going to make a judgement. I am so sorry about Mistress Cookie. I'll be sending up another package of food soon.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

God bless you Elizabeth! Just remember we are not out of the clear yet regarding that Ebola situation. The government says 21 days quarantine and I follow all local laws because the Bible tells me to and I would never ever do anything that is against the law or morally wrong!

[Young Peter]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Hello brother Faith Machine it sounds like you have got a good thing going for yourself there. How do I get in on this action?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Hello brother Faith Machine it sounds like you have got a good thing going for yourself there. How do I get in on this action?

What!?

Young man, I am going to just pretend you never said that. I advise you to go bury your nose in the nearest King James Bible and don't remove it 'til you've learned some manners and how to be prudent and circumspect in all things.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Brother Faith Machine,

If I may be so bold to say this, but I think what he was trying to say (as we are both not TCs, we may have some similar failures) is that he wants to help too. Not in a sinful way, as could be interpreted. I think he just wants to help you.

Also, don't worry about the package; just don't send anything back. If I see one thing from you, I will burn it, and I would not like to waste your efforts. Also, about the packages, have you received all three of mine yet? They should be there...

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Dolores de Barriga]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

So, after a long overnight drive through snow, I have arrived to Cherokee, IA this morning.

My first impression of the motel in which Faith Machine and Mistress Cookie were staying in, was that it belonged not in the most powerful country in the world, but somewhere in the third world. The paint of an uncertain color was coming off the walls, half of the sign was broken off, there was grass and weeds growing in different spots of the parking lot.

Entering into the hallway, I was greeted by a strong smell, that specific combination of mold, mildew, lead-based paint, and old wood characteristic for old buildings. I could hear the sound of old fluorescent lamps - they were also flickering constantly. I looked for an attendant near the desk; I finally found him sleeping behind and below the counter, with a bottle of a clear liquid in his hands. The bottle had a worn out sign that read "Johnnie Walker," but the smell permeating the whole vicinity reminded me more of a homemade corn ethanol rather than of a fine whiskey.

I inquired about the room in which Faith Machine and Mistress Cookie were staying. The attendant muddled something that was impossible to comprehend, and pointed into the end of a dark hallway.

I bravely ventured into the hallway. The flickering lights added to the mystery, seemingly making the floor and walls move on their own. Or maybe it were the hundreds of cockroaches crawling around, which were creating this impression.

I knocked to the door to which the attendant pointed to. "Who is it?" - asked a male voice. "Dolores," I said. "Didn't I tell you not to come? We are still until the Ebola quarantine" he said. I replied: "I brought you some food and clean change of clothing." "Just leave them by the door," he replied. "Could you open the door, so I could see Mistress Cookie?" I asked. "She's sleeping, I wouldn't want you to disturb her," he replied.

I thought that was very considerate of him, so I left the food and clothing along with a piece of paper with my cell phone number at the door, and I told Faith Machine (I assume that was him) that I was leaving.

I feel very good about myself after this experience. I feel that I've made the right first move in order to establish rapport with a valuable member of the Freehold community.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

This is very concerning. Mr Machine knows full well that True Christians(tm) are immune to the ebola.
Is the room on the first floor? See if you can get around to the window and get a photo. Or hide in the darkness of the hall until he collects the stuff you left him (make sure it's left a little distance from the door), then slip into the room and check on Mistress Cookie's condition please.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

All respect due to Brother Faith Machine for helping her, but I think a True Christian woman (I'm only a mere forum member) should go up and take care of her, from a woman to another woman, under of course, the supervision of her father/husband. That way, the men are free to help do more important things, and the women can play an assisting role, just as we women were created. Genesis 2:18

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Thank you all for your continued concern. Just an update; we have checked out of the motel and I am now driving Miss Cookie back to the welcoming bosom of Freehold. I'm sure it will take us many days to get there. Please don't worry about what route we're taking. Also, if you see a white van with curtains over its windows, that is NOT MY VAN, as we are traveling via rental car. Not the Ford SUV I mentioned earlier, so don't look for that either.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

That's lovely! While I'm unable to visit Freehold, I hope to hear reports about her improving health and sanity! Praise the Lord for His infinite goodness!

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Mr Mayor Hold, I implore you to send out the Freehold police force to apprehend Mr Machine and rescue Mistress Cookie. Surely they can leave the city limits in plain clothes to achieve this. I fear gravely for her safety while in his company.

Mrs Johnson, I know your brain is weak and female, but let me spell it out for you - Mr Machine seems to be keeping Mistress Cookie as a prisoner to do what he wishes with her. Cherokee is at most 3 hours (at a leisurely speed) from Freehold. So why will it take him 'many days' to cover such a short distance?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

Jim Farmer, that is crazy talk, and I hate to say it, but I am beginning to fear you may be a victim of demonic possession.

I assure you everything is fine here. Just fine. I am We are merely taking a lovely, leisurely scenic route, as I we feel it will be conducive to Miss Cookie's healing process.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

If that be the case, let Mistress Cookie log on to your computer and assure us in her own words.