[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Samuel told me last night that he's like to send at least $3000 to go towards a new plane for Pastor Ezekiel. He'd like to know if that would be an acceptable amount. He says that if it isn't enough, he can send more.

That is officially not enough. That amount wouldn't even cover the cost of my private chef for a week.

Tell Samuel to add a few more zeroes to that amount. Tell him "the chickens have come home to roost." He'll know what I mean.

[Esther B.]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

That is officially not enough. That amount wouldn't even cover the cost of my private chef for a week.

Tell Samuel to add a few more zeroes to that amount. Tell him "the chickens have come home to roost." He'll know what I mean.

Of course, Pastor! It just so happens that Samuel had a dream last night where God told him to "send a lot more money than that" (Samuel paraphrased it). He woke up and decided to send in $300,000 instead. His father and my father are going to send a combined total of $200,000 as well.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Esther, this is madness! You told me once that your family needed the money for their retirement and medical care. The need is far greater for your loved ones, darling! PLEASE - keep your funds.

Instead, I will give the money ON BEHALF OF YOUR FAMILY. I am not doing so in support of this project, but rather to preserve your family's financial future.

I have wired the amount of your donation already - so please don't fight me on this.

Trust me, I'll get a return on my investment. I'm on my way to Daisy's right now.

NRL

[Jim Farmer]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

That's great, ladies. I've already received Esther's family's combined $500,000, and now another $500,000 from Miss Lamb. Thank you ladies.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I hope I'm not poking my nose into the private affairs of others at LBC, but I'd like to mention that March Madness, the national basketball tournament just ended.

There were dozens of games. My suspicion is some of the crafty sports experts among the men at LBC wagered on these games.

It is my humble opinion winnings such as these can be called the wages of sin. This money must be remitted entirely to the WHITE EAGLE aircraft fund.

On behalf of the Committee, thank you.

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I hope I'm not poking my nose into the private affairs of others at LBC, but I'd like to mention that March Madness, the national basketball tournament just ended.

There were dozens of games. My suspicion is some of the crafty sports experts among the men at LBC wagered on these games.

It is my humble opinion winnings such as these can be called the wages of sin. This money must be remitted entirely to the WHITE EAGLE aircraft fund.

On behalf of the Committee, thank you.

Excuse me Mayor but it appears those hens in the Flo Shack once again don't know what they are clucking about. Can you really imagine any of the fine men at Landover watching a bunch of sweaty jiggabboos flapping and jumping around for an entire month?

I actually administered the 2015 Bracketology Challenge for the Landover Men's Recreation Club. Below is the winning bracket submitted by yours truly.

I picked Yoga Pants because only pagan worshipping lesbosexuals wear them.

Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God."

Exodus 20:3 "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."

[Esther B.]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Esther, this is madness! You told me once that your family needed the money for their retirement and medical care. The need is far greater for your loved ones, darling! PLEASE - keep your funds.

Instead, I will give the money ON BEHALF OF YOUR FAMILY. I am not doing so in support of this project, but rather to preserve your family's financial future.

I have wired the amount of your donation already - so please don't fight me on this.

Trust me, I'll get a return on my investment. I'm on my way to Daisy's right now.

NRL

Thank you, Sister, but I don't remember telling you that. The majority of the money was donated by Samuel and his father, so my family won't suffer too much in terms of finances.

Also, Samuel is thinking of sending in some more money, but he's not sure how much yet.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Esther,

I have stopped the payment on the $500,000 since your family is not in need. I was going to do this out of kindness for you, but I want nothing to do with donating for this monstrosity that is both unnecessary and takes away from the needs of the less fortunate.

Brother Dollar's ministry has mailed me a financial statement indicating expenditures for the downtrodden. Perhaps my money would be better spent there.

Still no satellite, still have a business on a street filled with potholes, and I am relinquishing my titanium tither parking spot and seating pass. I can sit on the bleachers with the faithful.

NRL

[Esther B.]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Samuel had another dream related to Pastor Ezekiel's new airplane last night. He says that in the dream, he saw a large and beautiful plane with the words "White Eagle" and some crosses painted on the sides and the tail in gorgeous gold paint. He has decided to send in another $500,000 and his family and mine will send in an additional $200,000.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Samuel had another dream related to Pastor Ezekiel's new airplane last night. He says that in the dream, he saw a large and beautiful plane with the words "White Eagle" and some crosses painted on the sides and the tail in gorgeous gold paint. He has decided to send in another $500,000 and his family and mine will send in an additional $200,000.

Glory! Now we're on the right track. That extra $200,000 will help pay for that custom wallpaper guy to do the game room on the plane. He's doing some Jesus sketches for me already.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We have to stay focused on the scheming of Creflo Dollar.

Now he is shaking down his supporters for money by telling them he has visions of a bigger airplane. Of course, what he means is he wants an airplane bigger than Pastor Zeke's.

One thing we will not doing is come on this site and beg for money like Creflo is doing. God will provide us with adequate money for WHITE EAGLE because He knows Pastor Zeke is the thin blue line holding back domination from Satan.

Landover Baptist members should know time is of the essence.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I think we should get the Pastor two planes. Do you realize what a hero he is? He saved my immortal soul. He is a hero to my wife and children. If it weren't for Pastor Ezekiel I would still be rotting in prison with multiple broom handle related contusions in my rectum every other day, being medically evacuated by helicopter to gay rectal surgeons in San Francisco, riddled with AIDS and hepatitis.

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel, for being the champion of our Creator and His Holy Messiah. As soon as the first plane gets off the ground I will pass the plate around for another one.

[Roland]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

We have to stay focused on the scheming of Creflo Dollar.

Now he is shaking down his supporters for money by telling them he has visions of a bigger airplane. Of course, what he means is he wants an airplane bigger than Pastor Zeke's.

Perhaps Creflo wants to get the Airbus A390?

[James Hutchins]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I've had a talking to the hired help here at Hutchins Plantations, LLC.
Yesterday whe n the workers were done for the day and had their weekly scrubbing and delousing, I had them gather at the old mine pit and I asked them to contribute to this worthy cause.
I in no way intimidated or coerced a single man, woman or child. To make this simple for them and to provide free will and freedom of choice, Each person was provided with a simple for to fill out. Under the watchful eye of a field bosses and with thier assistance to those unable to read or understand, they were carefully guided to make a selection of their own choosing. While I do not think it will be a lot, it should cover the soda pop expenses.

100 forms were completed, everyone except one was like the below. (BTW, we are looking for a septic sifter, pays room, board and pocket money)

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother James, I am very sorry I caused you so much financial trouble, and I think it's wonderful that it hasn't stopped you from raising money for Pastor Zeke's luxury expenses.

I have been inspired by your generosity, and I am pledging to donate $20 per month.