[Des]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother,

The answer to this one is in the Bible! You just have to fill the missing data with the rational logic of Creation Science!

1 Kings 15:12
And he took away the sodomites out of the land, and removed all the idols that his fathers had made.

1 Kings 22:46
And the remnant of the sodomites, which remained in the days of his father Asa, he took out of the land.

We can see that...

1. There used to be sodomites in the Holy land.
2. They were driven away.

Next question: Where did they go? Now we can see the answer! To Grease! They must be of the original Sodomite Stock removed from Israel. Obviously, they breed very effectively (yes, it IS a paradox) and now inhabit even the remotest reaches of the Earth.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Thank you, Professor. That makes perfect sense, just like the rest of the Bible.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Professor Dr White, this is truly a cunning plan.

His plan is ingenious AND it has been thoroughly validated in the obscure Europistanian state of Grease. It goes like this:

1. You approach the banks and tell them that your economy is in perfect shape and that you'd like a loan. It's enough to give your testimony. They'll believe a True Christian™ mayor.
2. Loan money and lots of it. If I were you, I'd take some extra funds for Zeke's mansion, as well.
3. If they want you to pay back, take another loan to pay the interest.
4. If they still want you to pay back, ask the citizens if they want to pay back.
5. Never pay back, they'll forget it eventually.
6. Show them pictures of True Christian™ children starving.

My husband says, if he may make a suggestion, that it's a good idea to have one person borrow the money and then a different person refuse to pay it back. This is what the Greeks did, by the simple means of changing their government - something they do at the drop of a kebab-skewer anyway, so it was no big deal for them.

It might be more difficult for us, as obviously we're not going to change mayors - Heaven forbid! Could Mayor Hold appoint a new financial officer of some sort, specifically for borrowing purposes, and then find some reason to fire him and appoint Mr Variousfakis in his place to deal with the non-repayment?

It is time. The sinners must be given relief. As a gesture of goodwill towards the Greek, pastor Ezekiels's first mission could land at Athens and inspect the sodomite community over there for any possible converts.

Is there nothing Pastor Zeke will not do in the service of others?

Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.

YiC
Joanna

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Professor Dr White, this is truly a cunning plan.

Is there nothing Pastor Zeke will not do in the service of others?

Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.

YiC
Joanna

The Committee will give Dr. White's plan a good look. As you point out, Sister Joanna, we are missing opportunities for Pastor Zeke to invade Satan's territory and bring home sinners home converted.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'm going to send $250,000 to go towards Pastor Ezekiel's plane. Who should I send it to?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'm going to send $250,000 to go towards Pastor Ezekiel's plane. Who should I send it to?

It is the weekend and most of the Pastors have gone to their weekend estates. However, in the face of such a generous donation (and from a newcomer, I might add), one of the Pastors or possibly one of the Jew lawyers will probably get in touch with you this afternoon. Might I suggest that a more suitable donation from one who expects to be one of the leading men of the congregation some day would be more in the seven figure range. God Bless!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I'm going to send $250,000 to go towards Pastor Ezekiel's plane. Who should I send it to?

Some people have been donating by mail. If you would like to do it this way the address is:

Pastor Zeke Aircraft Committee
Landover Baptist Church
Freehold, Iowa 50992

We appreciate you support.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Some people have been donating by mail. If you would like to do it this way the address is:

Pastor Zeke Aircraft Committee
Landover Baptist Church
Freehold, Iowa 50992

We appreciate you support.

Or he can send to to my paypal account.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Thank you, Gentlemen! Esther's family and mine will send a total of $750,000 towards Pastor Ezekiel's plane and a cousin will send $250,000 as well.

[WWJDnow]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Is one plane enough for Pastor Zeke? He needs to take all those boys from the Landover Baptist youth ministries with him when he travels to spread the Good News. I know that Pastor Zeke is a humble man, but I don't think Jesus would want one of His most successful ministers to be cramped up in coach. Plus, what if the plane experiences mechanical difficulties. Think of how many lost souls will not be saved for every minute Pastor Zeke's flight is delayed! I don't want to live with that kind of guilt. Do you?

[Elmer G. White]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brethren, a new opportunity to finally get the Jet purchased!

With the recent atheist uproar about killing vermin, such as lions, tigers, koalas and rhinoceroses, all previously Godly airlines of the United States and Emirates have now forbidden the transport of animal trophies. Last, Delta joins this unbiblical BAN!

“Effective immediately, Delta will officially ban shipment of all lion, leopard, elephant, rhinoceros and buffalo trophies worldwide as freight. Prior to this ban, Delta's strict acceptance policy called for absolute compliance with all government regulations regarding protected species. Delta will also review acceptance policies of other hunting trophies with appropriate government agencies and other organizations supporting legal shipments.”

Who's going to take home the beheaded heads, horns, antlers and baculums that our boys and husbands bring home from the jungles of the Hamite Continent and Asia!

Zeke.

During the days of rest and spreading the Gospel to the vilest of sinners in Vegas, Monaco, Moscow and Pyongyang, Pastor Ezekiel's Jet can carry Godly cargo back to America with reasonable prizes. Thus, this new jet will not only gain souls but also currency for its maintenance, fuel and interior design!

2 Samuel 17:10
And he also that is valiant, whose heart is as the heart of a lion, shall utterly melt: for all Israel knoweth that thy father is a mighty man, and they which be with him are valiant men.

It's time make the purchase with a loan and start carrying this cargo of Jesus!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brethren, a new opportunity to finally get the Jet purchased!

With the recent atheist uproar about killing vermin, such as lions, tigers, koalas and rhinoceroses, all previously Godly airlines of the United States and Emirates have now forbidden the transport of animal trophies. Last, Delta joins this unbiblical BAN!
Who's going to take home the beheaded heads, horns, antlers and baculums that our boys and husbands bring home from the jungles of the Hamite Continent and Asia!

Zeke.

During the days of rest and spreading the Gospel to the vilest of sinners in Vegas, Monaco, Moscow and Pyongyang, Pastor Ezekiel's Jet can carry Godly cargo back to America with reasonable prizes. Thus, this new jet will not only gain souls but also currency for its maintenance, fuel and interior design!

It's time make the purchase with a loan and start carrying this cargo of Jesus!

Elmer

How timely, Brother Elmer. Just the other day the Committee wrote a memo to Pastor Zeke asking which of his prized collection of trophy heads he wanted in the Cigar Room. It never occurred to us we could fill the lower fright area with crated trophy heads and charge a bundle.

You put us on to something.

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

I wouldn't dare suggest that a senior pastor would fly on an aircraft with non-Christians, but has anyone here flown via NetJets? I was in godless Europe meeting with a potential investor when my mother fell very ill. I arranged for NetJets to fly me back to the US immediately. With less than an hour's notice they had a jet on the tarmac. Praise God for sparing my mother's life until I could get the power of attorney documents signed. Without that flight (and the consolation of the stewardess) I might have missed my opportunity mother's passing.

[Esther B.]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brethren, a new opportunity to finally get the Jet purchased!

With the recent atheist uproar about killing vermin, such as lions, tigers, koalas and rhinoceroses, all previously Godly airlines of the United States and Emirates have now forbidden the transport of animal trophies. Last, Delta joins this unbiblical BAN!



Who's going to take home the beheaded heads, horns, antlers and baculums that our boys and husbands bring home from the jungles of the Hamite Continent and Asia!

Zeke.

During the days of rest and spreading the Gospel to the vilest of sinners in Vegas, Monaco, Moscow and Pyongyang, Pastor Ezekiel's Jet can carry Godly cargo back to America with reasonable prizes. Thus, this new jet will not only gain souls but also currency for its maintenance, fuel and interior design!

2 Samuel 17:10
And he also that is valiant, whose heart is as the heart of a lion, shall utterly melt: for all Israel knoweth that thy father is a mighty man, and they which be with him are valiant men.

It's time make the purchase with a loan and start carrying this cargo of Jesus!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

What a wonderful idea! Samuel will send $500,000 to go towards the plane and this excellent idea.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

Brother Elmer, it is gratifying to see that others are beginning to see my point. I suggested some time back that the Jews should be consulted with the goal of obtaining favorable terms, so that the aircraft can be purchased immediately. Though it will put the congregation in debt, I believe there is enough opportunity for profit and the conversion of sinners to God's people that the investment will bear fruit from the first day.

[Didymus Much]

Re: The New Jet Aircraft for Pastor Zeke Committee.

So, say you all go and get Zeke his nice fancy Airbus, and he's on his way to God-forsaken hellhole like Denver or San Francisco, and then the Pastafarian Air Force shows up:

Now waht?