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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708
    #1

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rev. Jim Osborne!









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    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29453
      #2
      Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rev. Jim Osborne!

      Rev. Osborne! I thought God sent His Golden Rolls for you and brought you to the Heavenly Executive Suite.
      I've missed seeing you are the Landover Mens Club and will forgive the markers I extended as I know your were tired from all the laying of hands and demon wrangling.
      Give me a call and let's get together in Chicago for a steak, my treat. I have a fresh one selected just for you and I
      Attached Files
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775
          #3
          Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rev. Jim Osborne!

          A blessed birthday to you, Reverend!
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
              True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
               
              • Jul 2014
              • 8426
              #4
              Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rev. Jim Osborne!

              Very warmest birthday wishes to you from all the family, Pastor Jim.

              Little Hannah baked you a special birthday cake and wanted me to post a photo of it, but the icing sort of slid off before I could get the camera out. We'll try again next year, if any of us are still here. I pray that this will not be necessary.
              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                Comment

                • Faith_Machine
                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 10050
                  #5
                  Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rev. Jim Osborne!

                  Rev. Jim, I'm sorry I could not make it to your birthday celebration this year. I am consoling myself, however, by watching all 14 hours of the video of last year's marathon praise session.

                  Boy, was that fun.
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                    Comment

                    • Ezekiel Bathfire
                      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                      Christ's Rottweiler
                       
                      • Jan 2008
                      • 22901
                      #6
                      Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Rev. Jim Osborne!

                      You have marched for yet another year through this vale of tears on your very personal journey to Paradise by way of the manicured plot in Landover's own Goldwater Memorial Garden of Rest.

                      You must sometimes look back and wonder what you have done to deserve all the blessings that Jesus has bestowed upon you ... well, we here all know the answer.

                      Happy birthday.

                      PS, and talking of looking back - have you found that Jim Beam Black bottle I had with me yesterday when I was round your place - it contains a sample that I was taking to the doctor.
                      sigpic


                      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                      Author of such illuminating essays as,
                      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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