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  • #16
    Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks.

    We have a good one at Freehold City Hall. Our sign shop made a big sign that says, FREE GAY MARRIAGE, FREEHOLD CITY HALL.

    When homer couples show up they get an earful about their sin. When they leave we all have a good laugh.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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    • #17
      Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks.

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      We have a good one at Freehold City Hall. Our sign shop made a big sign that says, FREE GAY MARRIAGE, FREEHOLD CITY HALL.

      When homer couples show up they get an earful about their sin. When they leave we all have a good laugh.
      Before they leave, they should be required to buy this book. I also think this poster should be up. Food for thought.
      Attached Files
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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      • #18
        Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks.

        A good Christian “Prank” (and I use the word advisedly) should have a moral and Godly message for the witnesses.

        I used to make a habit of appearing in public places – Walmart, Main Street, outside about half an hour before a football or baseball game started, etc – and then giving a large cry, feigning a heart attack and collapsing in a convincing manner.

        A crowd would soon gather. I resisted all attempts to “bring me back” by remaining completely flaccid and not issuing a sound. Eventually, some employee or police officer, etc. would have the common sense to call an ambulance.

        It was only when the ambulance personnel arrived and were about to administer Oxygen, etc, that I would smarty stand upright and fully erect, give a sweeping motion with my arms and address the crowd with

        “AND YET AS CHRIST, WHO WAS KILLED ON THE CROSS AS A SACRIFICE FOR THE SINS OF MAN DID RISE AGAIN, SO I RISE AGAIN AND YOU TOO ARE ABLE TO RISE AGAIN DESPITE THE WEAKNESS OF YOUR SOULS AND THE WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH! AGAINST ALL THAT SATAN MAY THROW AT YOU, YOU MAY RISE AGAIN!

        YOUR FAITH, THE FAITH OF YOUR FATHERS AND THEIR FATHERS BEFORE THEM, GIVES ETERNAL LIFE TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN THE LORD JESUS AND THE ONE INDIVISIBLE TRINITY! DEATH IS DEFEATED! A SEAT AT GOD’S RIGHT HAND AWAITS THE RIGHTEOUS! MY FATHER’S HOUSE HAS MANY MANSIONS BUT THE PATH TO THE HOUSE IS STRAIGHT AND NARROW! THE SONS OF MAN ARE DEGENERATE AND LOATHSOME. THEY WALLOW IN INIQUITY AND ABOMINATION! AND YET THEY CAN BE SAVED! I BRING THE GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE! I GIVE YOU GOD'S WORD …”

        And at this point I would quote a verse of the Bible (KJV1611) and launch into a pre-prepared sermon.

        I tell you, the look on the faces was worth it alone! I brought countless souls to the Lord (including the three people who actually did have a heart attack and died.)

        I am Ezekiel Bathfire and I recommend this prank.
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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        • #19
          Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks.

          Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
          I used to make a habit of appearing in public places – Walmart, Main Street, outside about half an hour before a football or baseball game started, etc – and then giving a large cry, feigning a heart attack and collapsing in a convincing manner.
          A tremendous prank! I saw this once and was so fooled that I rushed in to administer life-saving treatment using my medical training in chiropractic. This was before my conversion so naturally I was using fake scientific techniques, not Biblical methods. I think the gentleman tried to stop me but it was too late and I saved the poor man. Years later, his caretakers still send me Christmas cards from the long-term care facility.
          If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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          • #20
            Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks.

            This atheist got a prank with a message just the other day!





            I can't wait to hear his conversion story when the Good News of our Good God finally breaks through his soulless defenses and he repents and accepts Christ!

            Thank you clever, witty Christian! Another soul is sure to be saved!
            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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            • #21
              Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks.

              Do you have some obnoxious Democrats as neighbors - or perhaps some pesky atheists?

              Take your stereo speakers and place them in some open windows, or better yet put them outside in your yard (make sure you have at least 100 watts per channel). Play the mooselimb call to prayer 5 times a day at high volume).

              You can find the times for the daily calls for your location using the table at the following link (the first can be around 4 to 5 AM depending on your location):

              United States Prayer Times, Salah (Salat), Azan Time & Namaz TimeTable | IslamicFinder
              https://www.islamicfinder.org/world/united-states/
              Get accurate Islamic Prayer Times, Salah (Salat), Namaz Time in United States and Azan Timetable with exact Fajr, Dhuhr, Asr, Maghrib, Isha Prayer Times. Also, get Sunrise time and Namaz (Salah) timing in United States.


              Now you can find out how "tolerant" and "multicultural" these LIEberals really are - and if they complain you can call them "racist".

              Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
              brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
              ...and get off my lawn
              sigpic

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