Tweet
I was watching TV and some guy from some Pacific Island comes on and starts to talk about how because of “global warming”, his country was becoming smaller as sea levels rose. I’ll be frank - I couldn’t grasp what this has to do with my driving around in my Escalade, having heating in my garden, or Pastor Zeke’s private Boeing - all is this half a world away from him on his unpronounceable island.
He clearly hadn’t the faintest idea about how The Lord has organized our World, as any fool knows that water evaporates in heat, and these Pacific Islands are always hot, so if it were getting hotter, the water would go down.
I noted that all Pacific Islands are populated by fat people, so, it’s more than likely that they are all compacting the sand as they walk around or do those dances where they all jump up and down with spears. I think, perhaps he should look to the beam in his eye, before he complains about the mote in mine.
Well, this was on my mind before I went to bed after good helping of cheese. I said my prayers and included a bullet point on rising sea levels/ sinking islands, got into bed, and drifted off to await an answer.
God never fails the faithful and I had this amazing dream. I was in the bathroom and the bathwater was at the right level and I tried to turn off the faucet but it was stuck! I tried to pull the plug but – the way thing are in dreams - the bath was too deep for me to reach it and the water was coming in faster now. I realised that the only way to prevent a flood was to get in and dive down. I got in and the water level rose alarmingly. However,I had a job to do and I dove down but didn’t find the plug the first time. As I came up for breath, I saw three things:
(i) Mrs Bathfire heaping in sponges into the water at the far end as she chanted, “they will absorb the water”,
(ii) the water was still rising
(iii) a ship had docked in the corner near the bidet and a gangplank had been put down.
The next bit is a little confused, but Mrs Bathfire and I ended up sailing away on the ship and found ourselves dining at the Captain’stable with Mrs Bathfire constantly apologizing for my being naked although the Captain did not seem bothered at all.
In the morning, I reviewed the dream. It was probably one of the clearest answers I’d received from God and I will share its interpretation with you:
The bath is the oceans
The rising water is that guy’s problem.
The plug is man’s solution and, as usual, is garbage for we are helpless before God and should not be trying to undo His Doings other than by listening to Him.
The sponges are the ideas of people whose good intentions are the road to Hell
The Ship is Noah’s Ark and the answer.
The Captain is God.
My nakedness recalls the nakedness of Adam before the Fall, (and,in Mrs Bathfire’s eyes, the shameful uncovering of Noah by his son), and God sees me as a person who will convey His Word – a prophet, if you will.
“This is all well and good, Pastor,” I hear you say, “but how does this help that Fuzzy-Wuzzie on a desert island?”
And I reply,
“Sometimes I feel that Lu:4:24: And he said, Verily I say unto you, No prophet is accepted in his own country” is an uncomfortable truth that explains why there are Caticks, Lesbians, and Nancy Pelosi.
It should be clear: I get in the bath, and the water rises!A ship comes along – how much water does a ship displace? Millions and millions of gallons. How many ships are there? Billions! And they are getting bigger all the time! Small wonder then that sea levels are rising.
It is the ships and ship builders that are causing rising sea levels!
I must write to that guy and tell him. In the meantime, you can all drive around in Escalades, have heating in your garden, and as many private Boeings as you want.
He clearly hadn’t the faintest idea about how The Lord has organized our World, as any fool knows that water evaporates in heat, and these Pacific Islands are always hot, so if it were getting hotter, the water would go down.
I noted that all Pacific Islands are populated by fat people, so, it’s more than likely that they are all compacting the sand as they walk around or do those dances where they all jump up and down with spears. I think, perhaps he should look to the beam in his eye, before he complains about the mote in mine.
Well, this was on my mind before I went to bed after good helping of cheese. I said my prayers and included a bullet point on rising sea levels/ sinking islands, got into bed, and drifted off to await an answer.
God never fails the faithful and I had this amazing dream. I was in the bathroom and the bathwater was at the right level and I tried to turn off the faucet but it was stuck! I tried to pull the plug but – the way thing are in dreams - the bath was too deep for me to reach it and the water was coming in faster now. I realised that the only way to prevent a flood was to get in and dive down. I got in and the water level rose alarmingly. However,I had a job to do and I dove down but didn’t find the plug the first time. As I came up for breath, I saw three things:
(i) Mrs Bathfire heaping in sponges into the water at the far end as she chanted, “they will absorb the water”,
(ii) the water was still rising
(iii) a ship had docked in the corner near the bidet and a gangplank had been put down.
The next bit is a little confused, but Mrs Bathfire and I ended up sailing away on the ship and found ourselves dining at the Captain’stable with Mrs Bathfire constantly apologizing for my being naked although the Captain did not seem bothered at all.
In the morning, I reviewed the dream. It was probably one of the clearest answers I’d received from God and I will share its interpretation with you:
The bath is the oceans
The rising water is that guy’s problem.
The plug is man’s solution and, as usual, is garbage for we are helpless before God and should not be trying to undo His Doings other than by listening to Him.
The sponges are the ideas of people whose good intentions are the road to Hell
The Ship is Noah’s Ark and the answer.
The Captain is God.
My nakedness recalls the nakedness of Adam before the Fall, (and,in Mrs Bathfire’s eyes, the shameful uncovering of Noah by his son), and God sees me as a person who will convey His Word – a prophet, if you will.
“This is all well and good, Pastor,” I hear you say, “but how does this help that Fuzzy-Wuzzie on a desert island?”
And I reply,
“Sometimes I feel that Lu:4:24: And he said, Verily I say unto you, No prophet is accepted in his own country” is an uncomfortable truth that explains why there are Caticks, Lesbians, and Nancy Pelosi.
It should be clear: I get in the bath, and the water rises!A ship comes along – how much water does a ship displace? Millions and millions of gallons. How many ships are there? Billions! And they are getting bigger all the time! Small wonder then that sea levels are rising.
It is the ships and ship builders that are causing rising sea levels!
I must write to that guy and tell him. In the meantime, you can all drive around in Escalades, have heating in your garden, and as many private Boeings as you want.
Comment