Baptists and health

[demoncrat]

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health; and exercise?

Are these just distractions from the Holy Bible(TM)?

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: Baptists and health

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health; and exercise?

Are these just distractions from the Holy Bible(TM)?

Exercise is most certainly a distraction, if one allows it to rule one's life; Christian ladies find all the physical jerks they need whilst doing the housework - prancing around the gym is the domain of lycra-clad harlots and homers and harlots who entertain fantasies regarding turning such homers into "buff" heterosexuals.

1 Timothy 4:8 -- For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Baptists and health

Exercise is most certainly a distraction, if one allows it to rule one's life; Christian ladies find all the jerks they need...

Not surprised given the circumferential disposition of your congregation. I found this picture in the Landover personals...the ad said something about cat lover and mother looking for man with pick-up truck and powered tailgate.



Bless you, my impending stomach stapling recipient.
Father Mo

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Baptists and health

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health; and exercise?

Are these just distractions from the Holy Bible(TM)?

I don't understand a word you're saying. Are you asking for my recipe for Baptist Bacon Wrapped Pork Loaf? I must appologize, but that recipe is only trusted to the most saved among our congregation.

[Talitha]

Re: Baptists and health

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health; and exercise?

Are these just distractions from the Holy Bible(TM)?

I won't even pretend to understand most of your question. However, exercise is certainly in the Bible(KJV1611).
I prefer to think that The Lord made me perfect enough in Mind Body and Sould not to have to be concerned about such things.

Psalm 131:1
Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty: neither do I exercise myself in great matters, or in things too high for me.

[Deaner]

Re: Baptists and health

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health;

Whatever disease Jesus chooses to kill you with is none of my business; that's between you and Him.

However, between you and me, some of those afflictions He comes up with are astounding. The eblola virus causing the darkies in africa to bleed from the eyes was my personal favorite. But getting turned into a retard thru alzheimer's not only shows you that Jesus means business; it's pretty damned funny. Our Saviour isn't all serious stuff you know; He's quite a prankster.

Dean

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Baptists and health

Proud to state that I have no HateDL in me at all.
I'll never die of corny artry dis-ease
because I Love Da Lord!



The poet's secular and holy lifelines

[Arethusa]

Re: Baptists and health

Is exercising a sin now too? For heaven's sake. What if one does it at home and maybe runs outside sometimes. But not in the gyms with the homos!

[lilith]

Re: Baptists and health

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health; and exercise?

Are these just distractions from the Holy Bible(TM)?

I notice you're studiously avoiding all mention of the mental health of Baptists.....could there be a reason for this?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Baptists and health

I notice you're studiously avoiding all mention of the mental health of Baptists.....could there be a reason for this?

Well, as I see it, there is no way that the landoverians could have mental health issues. Because in order for them to do so, that would require them having a mind in the first place. *snicker*

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Baptists and health

I don't understand a word you're saying. Are you asking for my recipe for Baptist Bacon Wrapped Pork Loaf? I must appologize, but that recipe is only trusted to the most saved among our congregation.

I always liked this for the holidays:

http://search.yumyum.com/recipe.htm?ID=7360

and this for the turkey

http://www.recipesource.com/fgv/stuffing/white-castle-turkey1.html

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Baptists and health

Is exercising a sin now too? For heaven's sake. What if one does it at home and maybe runs outside sometimes. But not in the gyms with the homos!

Excercise isn't a sin, just futile, as long as you stay away from the homer Richard Simmons types. But as the wise and Godly Mrs. Rogers points out, the pentathlon of cooking, washing up, ironing, sewing and floor-scrubbing should give you all the excercise you need.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Baptists and health

What are Baptists' feelings on LDL and HDL; Coronary Artery Disease; Heart health; and exercise?

Are these just distractions from the Holy Bible(TM)?

Friend,

Six months ago my doctor told me my blood pressure was 210 over 120. He told me he was amazed I was still alive and demanded I go on a crash diet. I saw Satan standing there behind Dr Raghead, wispering lies into his Hindoo head * I told him to keep his filthy pills to himself and I turned to Jesus for help. Friend, I am still here amoung you a healthy, big boned Christian.

Now, does that ansewer your question friend?


* Why are all the doctors Indian?

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Baptists and health

I always liked this for the holidays:

http://search.yumyum.com/recipe.htm?ID=7360

and this for the turkey

http://www.recipesource.com/fgv/stuf...e-turkey1.html

Those recipes look so delicious and healthy, Brother Mayfield. I'll be sure to give those to the nurses at the Baptist Heart Center in Iowa Falls.

[demoncrat]

Re: Baptists and health

Friend,

Six months ago my doctor told me my blood pressure was 210 over 120. He told me he was amazed I was still alive and demanded I go on a crash diet. I saw Satan standing there behind Dr Raghead, wispering lies into his Hindoo head * I told him to keep his filthy pills to himself and I turned to Jesus for help. Friend, I am still here amoung you a healthy, big boned Christian.

Now, does that ansewer your question friend?


* Why are all the doctors Indian?

Maybe you should cut down on the salt and stop getting angry over unsaved trash such as myself?