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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555

    #16
    Re: A Women's Forum

    If you unsaved scumbuckets continue this pornographic discussion, this thread will be closed down. Now start exchanging recipes or discussing the best way to scrub a toilet. NOW!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • mollychu
      Unsaved trash
       
      • Jan 2007
      • 143

      #17
      Re: A Women's Forum

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      If you unsaved scumbuckets continue this pornographic discussion, this thread will be closed down. Now start exchanging recipes or discussing the best way to scrub a toilet. NOW!
      how is this pornographic? i fail to see.


      i dont see any images of naked women or men....

      Comment

      • Pastor Ezekiel
        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
         
        • Sep 2006
        • 78555

        #18
        Re: A Women's Forum

        Originally posted by mollychu View Post
        how is this pornographic? i fail to see.


        i dont see any images of naked women or men....
        The things that you fail to see could fill volumes. Being a female unsaved chink makes it nearly impossible for you to be Saved by the blood of christ. In the mean time, as a Man and as a Pastor, I'll do your thinking for you.

        Now go bake some pies.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • TwinkBoy
          CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
          Forum Member
          • Dec 2006
          • 212

          #19
          Re: A Women's Forum

          Oh pooh, pooh Pastor Zekey, love....be nice instead of NAUGHTY love...snicker, snicker. Mollychu is quite NICE, love. She kind of reminds me of a friend named...damit JANET!

          Now...getting back to topic, love....give us girls a forum and let us..."mingle"...

          By the way Zekey...did you get a haircut love? Your hair looks shorter and...I MUST say....VERYyyy....hmmm....APPEALING!!
          "I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

          "Don't dream it...BE IT!"

          Comment

          • Glendora Christianson
            Spiritual Mother of LBC
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 2329

            #20
            Re: A Women's Forum

            I suppose we had to deal with this women's forum stuff eventually. But until women can stay off Promise Enforcers (and I know I am one of very few who have managed that) or until Jesus Himself gives us a sign that we women are worthy of such a thing and wouldn't just use the forum as a cackling hen contest, I am against it.

            PS Perhaps a recipe exchange, house cleaning forum, or women's ettiquette forum might be a bit more acceptable to HIM.
            Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

            Comment

            • lilith
              Night Hag
              • Sep 2006
              • 1232

              #21
              Re: A Women's Forum

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              If you unsaved scumbuckets continue this pornographic discussion, this thread will be closed down. Now start exchanging recipes or discussing the best way to scrub a toilet. NOW!


              Well...if you insist.

              Liberally sprinkle the inside of your loo with cleaning product - Ajax,Vim,or if you're going for the sun streaked look,bleach.

              Upend your Pastor* insert in loo & scrub bowl with his hair.

              *Note: Zeke's hair is especially recommended for this purpose,being quite stiff & wiry.
              In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

              Comment

              • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                True Christian™
                • Dec 2006
                • 12414

                #22
                Re: A Women's Forum

                Whatever the menfolk think is best will be good enough for me. I do know of some delicious Angel Food cake recipes!
                Posted via Prayer

                1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                Blogging for CHRIST!
                Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                My Ladies of Landover profile!

                Comment

                • Brother Love
                  Yes, THAT Brother Love!
                  True Christian™
                  • Nov 2006
                  • 403

                  #23
                  Re: A Women's Forum

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  Oh I see what you mean. A forum for our True Christian™ ladies. To exchange recipes and household cleaning tips I suppose. Fine idea, Brother.
                  I agree with you Pastor Zeke IF the women folk keep it to such things as recipe exchanging and house cleaning tips and such things. Women don't really need to think about anything else; just DO whatever their True Christian MAN commands them to do! You know what they say, Brother Zeke, a woman starts thinking and...he,he...things start falling apart.
                  Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!

                  "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15


                  "Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Al E Pistle
                    Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                     
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 9323

                    #24
                    Re: A Women's Forum

                    Originally posted by lilith View Post
                    Well...if you insist.

                    Liberally sprinkle the inside of your loo with cleaning product - Ajax,Vim,or if you're going for the sun streaked look,bleach.

                    Upend your Pastor* insert in loo & scrub bowl with his hair.

                    *Note: Zeke's hair is especially recommended for this purpose,being quite stiff & wiry.
                    How many times have you been banned from this forum for eternity? Obviously one less time than necessary!
                    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78555

                      #25
                      Re: A Women's Forum

                      Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                      By the way Zekey...did you get a haircut love? Your hair looks shorter and...I MUST say....VERYyyy....hmmm....APPEALING!!
                      I get my hair cut by my private barber every Saturday afternoon, rain or shine. Some nigra boy who's been with my family for years and years. He used to trim my grandfather's hair.

                      I like to look my best for Jesus. As a pastor I have to set an example. While I enjoy an occasional compliment from Sister Thumper on my Manly grooming and hygiene, coming from a sodomite such comments make me feel queasy.

                      I don't swim 5 miles a day in my private olympic sized pool to provide you with perverted titillation. Repent now, degenerate!
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78555

                        #26
                        Re: A Women's Forum

                        Originally posted by lilith View Post
                        Well...if you insist.

                        Liberally sprinkle the inside of your loo with cleaning product - Ajax,Vim,or if you're going for the sun streaked look,bleach.

                        Upend your Pastor* insert in loo & scrub bowl with his hair.

                        *Note: Zeke's hair is especially recommended for this purpose,being quite stiff & wiry.
                        Filthy harlot! I am assigning you 1,000 infraction points for mouthing off 1 too many times.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • OnYourKnees
                          On Extended Furlough
                          True Christian™
                          • Nov 2006
                          • 4729

                          #27
                          Re: A Women's Forum

                          Rosa has a "woman problem" and would like the ladies' advice. I'll let her type it herself:

                          Jess, I wonder how ju Landover ladies get the good flaky crust on the meat pies? And also where to find freshest, tasty babies meat?

                          Rosa, I do hope that's a joke.

                          Oh, Señor Knees, ju know I not feed you babies!

                          Mmm hmm. Ola, Immigración?

                          Comment

                          • SalvationSeeker
                            True Christian™ Theologian
                            Forum Member
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 3892

                            #28
                            Re: A Women's Forum

                            I think that if we do create a women's forum, we should be able to seal it off from the rest of the forum when needed, thus isolating all females in there.
                            When one of them misbehaves severly, all of them are temporarily sealed off and their forum put on moderation, thus the group will shun the offender.
                            Pretty soon, she should stop misbehaving.

                            So not only can we keep the womanly yappity yap away from the unsaved men. (Who'm otherwise might become homers from reading it.)
                            We can also enforce that the women remain focused on Jesus in a more effiecent way.

                            This is how respectable schools used to work in the good old days;
                            When one erred, ALL were punished.
                            It is a proven system which works.

                            In short:
                            We could win female souls (if they have any!) for Jesus with such a powerful tool of Godly discipline.


                            What do you brothers think?
                            And what should we call it?
                            "The Kitchen" would seem appropriate to me.
                            If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
                            A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
                            Proverbs 9:12-13

                            Comment

                            • WickedWitch
                              Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                              CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 1366

                              #29
                              Re: A Women's Forum

                              So then... the menfolk are thinking this is a good idea?
                              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                              Comment

                              • Rachael Van Helsing
                                HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 5131

                                #30
                                Re: A Women's Forum

                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                If you unsaved scumbuckets continue this pornographic discussion, this thread will be closed down. Now start exchanging recipes or discussing the best way to scrub a toilet. NOW!
                                Easy. Get a man to do it.
                                sigpic
                                Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                Comment

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