[Poetic Peter]

Re: Are you serious?

cleared and replaced over at The Poetasters' Korner

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=34631#post34631

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Are you serious?

We are very real! My name is Rev. Green, and If I wasn't real, then how could I be posting a message?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Are you serious?

Are you guys serious? Or is this some kind of parody forum?

I'm so tired of this question. Why do the hellbound trash keep asking whether we're some kind of parody forum, just because we preach the Holy King James Bible as it is, rather than as liberal space cadets think it ought to be? We are every bit as real as Our Lord Jesus Christ and as the lake of fire for which you are headed unless you repent.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Are you serious?

I'm so tired of this question. Why do the hellbound trash keep asking whether we're some kind of parody forum, just because we preach the Holy King James Bible as it is, rather than as liberal space cadets think it ought to be? We are every bit as real as Our Lord Jesus Christ and as the lake of fire for which you are headed unless you repent.

Brother, I couldn't agree more. My theory is that the unsaved heathens have become so accustomed to false Christians spewing their lies and twisted images of Christ, that when they encounter the real deal they just cannot accept it. The first time they hear that Jesus, in fact, does NOT love everyone, they begin to accuse us of being false christians. If they would just read the Holy KJV1611 Bible, it would be obvious that we are God's chosen.

[Bwack Lizard]

Re: Are you serious?

I am not a satan worshiper!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Are you serious?

I am not a satan worshiper!

Do you worship the real Jesus, the God whose Holy Word is written forever in the King James Bible, and is to be obeyed word for word? If the answer to any of this is "no", you whoreship Satan. And no, that's not a typo.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Are you serious?

I am not a satan worshiper!

You've got us there. Who could possibly dispute such an intelligent, logical, and well-reasoned argument?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Are you serious?

I am not a satan worshiper!

Friend,

Then are you saying you are a good and TRUE Christian like we are? That is what God tells us threw The Bible; you are with Jesus or against Him friend.

[Bwack Lizard]

Re: Are you serious?

Just because I'm not a christian doesn't mean that I worship Satan...

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Are you serious?

Just because I'm not a christian doesn't mean that I worship Satan...

What does it take to get it through your unSaved head? If you're not a
True Christian™, you are doing the devil's work.

[BornAgain]

Re: Are you serious?

Are you guys serious? Or is this some kind of parody forum?

You sound like a Liberal homer to me.

I was a liberal homer until recently, when I opened my heart to the Love of our Lord Jesus™ in fear of Aeternal Damnation, and am currently working out a tithing plan with God's favorite Church©.

What you need to realize is that the sissy liberal theology you've been spoon-fed is flat out wrong, and is clearly contradicted by God's Holy Word™, the KJV1611 Holy Bible.

May Jesus open your heart.

[Bwack Lizard]

Re: Are you serious?

That was the most stupiest thing I've ever heard.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Are you serious?

That was the most stupiest thing I've ever heard.

"most stupiest"

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Are you serious?

That was the most stupiest thing I've ever heard.

No, the most foolish thing is chosing hell fire and damnation when you are offered salvation Friend. Now it is time to take off the blood splattered wizard robes, put on your big boy clothes, get down to church and set things right with Jesus.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Are you serious?

I am not a satan worshiper!

Of course you aren't.

You're just a "black wizard".

So which demons do you call upon in your self-identified dark arts?

Let's review the possibilities. You may be:

• Trying to justify your hatred of Jesus with lies (Going to Hell);
• Here to persecute the faithful with your foolishness (Hell);
• Really believe that you're somehow (as a "black wizard) not guilty of serving false gods, i.e. Satan (Hell); or
• Slow-witted (Hell).

Jesus hates liars, fools, workers of iniquity, worshippers of false gods, and the retarded. If you read your Bible, you'd know that.

Have fun with your worship of false gods. Enjoy eternal Hellfire. We'll be watching from Heaven, basking in the warm glow of your charring flesh. I do believe I'll roast a marshmallow over you, when that glorious day arrives!

GLORY!