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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

    Shout GLORY and Praise Jesus Christ on high! The Godless British have hatched a plot to force a new movie about the life and evil theories of the infamous God hater Charles Darwin. No doubt the unwashed and confused Europee-ons will swarm to watch this pornographic mess. But Jesus, in His infinte love and mercy, has used His special powers to protect His favorite country (America!) from the horrors of this movie! Further evidence of His wisdom and desire to keep America Christian!

    New Charles Darwin film is 'too controversial' for religious American audiences

    A new British film about Charles Darwin has failed to land a distribution deal in the States because his theories on human evolution are too controversial for religious American audiences, according to the film's producer.

    Creation follows the British naturalist's 'struggle between faith and reason' as he wrote his 1859 book, On The Origin Of The Species.

    The film, directed by Jon Amielm was chosen to open the Toronto Film Festival and has now been sold to almost every territory in the world.

    But US distributors have turned down the film that could cause uproar in a country that, on the whole, dismisses scientific theories of the way we evolved.

    Christian film review website Movieguide.org described Darwin as 'a racist, a bigot and a 1800s naturalist whose legacy is mass murder.'

    The site also stated that his 'half-baked theory' influenced Adolf Hitler and led to 'atrocities, crimes against humanity, cloning and generic engineering.'

    Jeremy Thomas, the Oscar-winning producer of Creation, said he was astonished that such attitudes exist 150 years after On The Origin of Species was published.

    'That's what we're up against. In 2009. It's amazing,' he said.

    'The film has no distributor in America. It has got a deal everywhere else in the world but in the US, and it's because of what the film is about. People have been saying this is the best film they've seen all year, yet nobody in the US has picked it up.

    'It is unbelievable to us that this is still a really hot potato in America. There's still a great belief that He made the world in six days.

    'It's quite difficult for we in the UK to imagine religion in America. We live in a country which is no longer so religious. But in the US, outside of New York and LA, religion rules.

    'Charles Darwin is, I suppose, the hero of the film. But we tried to make the film in a very even-handed way. Darwin wasn't saying "kill all religion", he never said such a thing, but he is a totem for people.'
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329

    #2
    Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

    I just wanted to warn all good Christians to be extra cautious when clicking on the links in Pastor Zeke's post. If I didn't know better, I'd say the Devil himself is making a list of possible recruits by logging the IP address of folks who show an interest in that movie.
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

    Comment

    • Remy Lebeau
      LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire
      President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association
      Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 2058

      #3
      Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

      It's bad enough that the sodomites are trying to brainwash our children into thinking homersexurality is normal and heterosexuality is abnormal in a bid to bring humanity to extinction, but a Darwin indoctrination to boot? It probably has a fully detailed, full nudity, ten minute long sex scene between Darwin and his wife, Linda, a the king charles spaniel. It's sickening that the Europeons are so far gone that they are encouraging bestiality. No wonder we are always hearing that whites are in population decline over in those cesspools. They are too busy sodomizing each other and their pets instead of reproducing as God intended.
      Master of Godly Debating

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      Comment

      • Wide-Open
        Director of European Evangelical Outreach
        A Shining Example of Christ's Love
        Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
        True Christian™
        • Nov 2007
        • 18449

        #4
        Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

        I had the weirdest thing happen to me when I was protesting against this snuff porn movie. I went into the city, positioned myself near a large mall, and shouted "DARWINS - MASS MURDERER" and "NO MORE BESTIALITY IN OUR CINEMAS" in my trusty bullhorn.

        I thought I'd be pretty much alone on this one, when suddenly I was surrounded by hundreds of mooslims supporting my slogans.

        We shouted in unison, and I only noticed the odd dissonant "Allahu Akbar" in between - which I countered with a stern "PRAISE JESUS" whenever I could.

        This really put me in a difficult spot. Was it a sin to not walk away? What happens when your enemies support you?

        I was confused Brothers and Sisters.

        Still, in the end, my disgust for Darwins won from my disgust of the sand negras, so we kept on shouting for hours on end (until the police came and took us all away).

        Now let me tell you: it is NOT FUN to be in a jail with 10 (hungry!) mudslimes, but I took it all in stride. I was doing this for JESUS!
        Psalm 81:10:
        I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
        open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

        Comment

        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621

          #5
          Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

          This is a glorious victory for freedom of speech and freedom of religion. When those Christians sat down to write the Bill of Rights, I'm sure they had situations exactly like this one in mind.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • Ezekiel Bathfire
            Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
            Christ's Rottweiler
             
            • Jan 2008
            • 22898

            #6
            Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

            One hundred years is far to short a time to wait to release this catalogue of horror and lies onto a susceptible public. There are few sufficiently equipped with the Armor of God to withstand the onslaughts of the Devil Incarnate and his sneaky, selective so-called “facts”.

            We must jealously protect the 1st Amendment and consider at what peril in which the souls of the citizens will be placed by viewing such a work of fiction.

            Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m off to watch “The Devils of Loudun” Mad catlix killing each other make for a fine film.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • Mrs. Mary Whitford
              Ladies of Landover Senior VP
              One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
              Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
              True Christian™
              • Dec 2006
              • 12414

              #7
              Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

              I've no doubt it's filled with revisionist history and doesn't show the most important event in Darwin's life - his deathbed repentance and renunciation of his broken, Godless "theory"!
              Posted via Prayer

              1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
              Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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              Comment

              • Father Maurice Lester
                Ring-kissing Papist dog
                • Sep 2006
                • 3366

                #8
                Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

                It amazes me every time some start-up cult like the Baptwits goes off on a crazed tangent in regards to denying scientific claims that are both reasonable and long debated by secular and non-secular experts alike.
                This sad approach is what separates true religions from backward thinking autocratic institutions of ignorance.



                Bless you, my hopeless hobos
                Father Mo




                .
                A Cardinal in the making.

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556

                  #9
                  Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

                  Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
                  It amazes me every time some start-up cult like the Baptwits goes off on a crazed tangent in regards to denying scientific claims that are both reasonable and long debated by secular and non-secular experts alike.
                  This sad approach is what separates true religions from backward thinking autocratic institutions of ignorance.



                  Bless you, my hopeless hobos
                  Father Mo




                  .
                  So your contention is that the roman pope is related to a monkey?

                  I might have to go along with you on that one.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • JennyD
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Sweet Placid Sister
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 9567

                    #10
                    Re: Jesus Protects America From New Darwin Movie!

                    Originally posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
                    It amazes me every time some start-up cult like the Baptwits goes off on a crazed tangent in regards to denying scientific claims that are both reasonable and long debated by secular and non-secular experts alike.
                    This sad approach is what separates true religions from backward thinking autocratic institutions of ignorance.



                    Bless you, my hopeless hobos
                    Father Mo

                    .
                    So, Chester de MoLester, do you follow Pope Nazinger's contention that condoms cause AIDS?

                    “You can’t resolve it with the distribution of condoms,” the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane headed to Yaounde, Cameroon, where he will begin a seven-day pilgrimage on the continent. “On the contrary, it increases the problem.”
                    You know, Catholics being all "scienticious" and all nowadays.
                    www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
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