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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #16
    Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

    Ignore that wanton hussey Brother. She is a carpenters dream. Flat as a board and easy to nail.

    JESUS weeps.
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    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here

    Comment

    • MoonFlower
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 522

      #17
      Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

      It was Satan...he was just here and made me type that!

      I need a dunk in the Baptismal pool....

      Moon

      Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
      Ignore that wanton hussey Brother. .....and easy to nail.

      JESUS weeps.
      That's right...just ask Zeke.
      You pray...I dance naked in the forest

      Comment

      • Warrior in Christ
        "Stumpy"
        True Christian™
        • Apr 2007
        • 430

        #18
        Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

        Originally posted by MoonFlower View Post
        It was Satan...he was just here and made me type that!

        I need a dunk in the Baptismal pool....

        Moon
        FINALLY you're starting to see the ways of a True Christian, now all you need to do is realize that women should be subservient to Men and that Jesus is the only way. THEN, after you're Baptist and watched very closely you'll be closer to God. I'm glad you're starting to see the light, you might even get lucky and find yourself a Godly True Christian Man if you change your ways.(Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet though.)
        Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78555

          #19
          Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

          Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
          I'm sure it would. I think I'll enlist Zeke, while I dig in stateside and do the heavy lifting on the comment sections of the numerous Christ-hating LIEbrul blogs that I monitor daily in Jesus Holy name.
          Well God Bless you, Brother Larry. Jesus knows that you aren't the first one to suggest that I go join the front lines in iraquistan, slaying sand nigras for Christ.

          I expressed my interest in that robust and manly lifestyle to my uncle "Rummy" (Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of War for GW, but he reassured me that my contributions at home, pastoring to the flock in my gentle manner, are doing far more to destroy moohamadism than anything I might do in the desert. Oh what an argument we had about that! After several moments, I finally gave in to my distinguished uncle's wishes.

          They do have a need for....older combat soldiers like you, Brother Larry. It seems that the terrorists are shocked by soldiers with...silver hair, and prize their scalps quite highly. I'll go ahead and call uncle "Rummy" for you right now. I'm certain that accommodations can be made quite quickly.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Warrior in Christ
            "Stumpy"
            True Christian™
            • Apr 2007
            • 430

            #20
            Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Well God Bless you, Brother Larry. Jesus knows that you aren't the first one to suggest that I go join the front lines in iraquistan, slaying sand nigras for Christ.

            I expressed my interest in that robust and manly lifestyle to my uncle "Rummy" (Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of War for GW, but he reassured me that my contributions at home, pastoring to the flock in my gentle manner, are doing far more to destroy moohamadism than anything I might do in the desert. Oh what an argument we had about that! After several moments, I finally gave in to my distinguished uncle's wishes.

            They do have a need for....older combat soldiers like you, Brother Larry. It seems that the terrorists are shocked by soldiers with...silver hair, and prize their scalps quite highly. I'll go ahead and call uncle "Rummy" for you right now. I'm certain that accommodations can be made quite quickly.
            Well certainly someone that is as in tune with God like you doesn't need to do much more than you're doing. I have come to understand that the role of a pastor is a very dangerous and demanding role... I do not even think I could do the job. All I can do is what God has called me to do, and that involves defending his Favorite Nation, America.
            Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

            Comment

            • lilith
              Night Hag
              • Sep 2006
              • 1232

              #21
              Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

              Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
              I'll show you on the doll where HE touched me



              Lve, Sister Thumper


              I'm sure there must be some christian type reason as to why JC "touched" you in the area of your navel?
              In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

              Comment

              • Warrior in Christ
                "Stumpy"
                True Christian™
                • Apr 2007
                • 430

                #22
                Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                Originally posted by lilith View Post
                I'm sure there must be some christian type reason as to why JC "touched" you in the area of your navel?
                She's OBVIOUSLY talking about her heart, foul wretch! Always with your mind on sin, right Lilith?
                Last edited by Warrior in Christ; 04-17-2007, 03:51 AM.
                Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

                Comment

                • Peter
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  • Feb 2007
                  • 279

                  #23
                  Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                  Originally posted by Warrior in Christ View Post
                  How can you not love Jesus? Do you know that if you do not accept Jesus into your heart you will be damned to burn in hell for an eternity?
                  If you love Jesus then you are a necrophiliac (because you love someone who's dead) and a homosexual (Jesus was a man).

                  Comment

                  • OnYourKnees
                    On Extended Furlough
                    True Christian™
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 4729

                    #24
                    Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                    Originally posted by Peter View Post
                    If you love Jesus then you are a necrophiliac (because you love someone who's dead) and a homosexual (Jesus was a man).
                    So I take it you hate your father and your grandfather?

                    You're an imbecile. Nobody said anything about having relations with Jesus!

                    Oh, and what part of "resurrection" don't you understand?

                    Comment

                    • Bobby-Joe
                      Landover Security Superviser
                      Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                      NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 18405

                      #25
                      Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                      Originally posted by Peter View Post
                      If you love Jesus then you are a necrophiliac (because you love someone who's dead) and a homosexual (Jesus was a man).
                      I guess Peter you obsession with sex must arise from having a name frequently used as a euphemism for tallwaycker. No Peter; a Christian love for Jesus is pure and depravity free. God does not need to sex or any vile seed spilling to create. No, when Jesus hold us in HIS loving hands and lets HIS power flow into us we can be sure Our Risen Savior there is nothing homer about it.

                      Peter, friend, won’t you look into Jesus kind blue eyes and take HIS soft but strong hand?

                      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                      Hot Must ReadThreads!


                      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                      Comment

                      • SUV
                        True Christian™ Princess
                        The Driving Force behind RA12
                        Have at it, anytime!
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 11027

                        #26
                        Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                        I have been wanting to contribute to this thread, but Pastor told me to never again tell the story of HOW THE MESSYCAN JESUS CAME TO THE DOOR, DIRTY FROM GARDENING, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE REAL JESUS, ALL DIRTY AND SWEATY FROM CARRYING HIS CROSS UP HIS HILL AGAIN AND I MISTAKENLY, IN CHRISTIAN LOVE, OFFERED HIM A SHOWER AND THEN GOT INTO THE SHOWER WITH HIM.

                        Because He sooo needed a good scrub-a-dub-dubbing....

                        But I cannot disObey Pastor so perhaps some other time.

                        Comment

                        • lilith
                          Night Hag
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 1232

                          #27
                          Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                          Originally posted by Warrior in Christ View Post
                          She's OBVIOUSLY talking about her heart, foul wretch! Always with your mind on sin, right Lilith?

                          What,navels are sinful now?

                          Who knew!
                          In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78555

                            #28
                            Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                            Originally posted by lilith View Post
                            What,navels are sinful now?
                            The things that YOU do with them are.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • lilith
                              Night Hag
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 1232

                              #29
                              Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              The things that YOU do with them are.

                              But Zeke,you said you LIKED that!
                              In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 78555

                                #30
                                Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

                                Originally posted by lilith View Post
                                But Zeke,you said you LIKED that!
                                You are confusing your daily fantasies with reality again, harlot. I am not, nor have I ever been, enlisted with the Ukranian Navy.
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                Comment

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