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Rev. M. Rodimer
North Salem,
Indiana
Dear Rev. Rodimer,
My apologies for my failing to appear for your talk on “The Iniquities of Young Women Illustrated”. Despite my best efforts things went against me.
Nephew Zebulun was to be my driver as “Boy,” my faithful retainer, was still suffering the after effects of Bobby-Joe’s visit.
We left in good time for the trip and I soon started to doze in the rear. I awoke to find myself alone in the car which was parked outside “The Pink Monkey” in South Clinton St., Chicago. Nephew Zebulun arrived back looking quite flushed some 2 hours later. Apparently, he has taken to Polish culture and there’s some Pole Dancing going on. I must say I was a bit disappointed but we got underway and turned south onto the I65.
Anyway, we arrived at Mission Hall, North Salem with minutes to spare. There were only 2 seats left and they were in the middle of a row right at the front, just a few feet from the stage. We sat down to enjoy the talk but I was somewhat disturbed to see some woman come on.
The lights went down and she calls out, “Is there anyone there?” (Damn stupid question, the place was full!) Anyhoo, she repeats this a few times and then says,
“Is there anyone with the letter “B” in his surname?”
I thought she might be some friend of yours, so I said, “Here! I’m Bathfire from Freehold.”
Then she said, “I knew that.”
How in the name of all that’s Holy could she have known! I was intrigued!
Then things got even more amazing, she says, “What’s your Christian name?”
Well, at this, Nephew Zebulun says, “Don’t tell her, Unky Ezekiel, she’s supposed to know.” And I didn’t but – and how can anyone explain this? – She says, (and I tell you this as God is my Witness) “Is it Ezekiel”. If it hadn’t been for the fat woman next to me, I’d have fallen on the floor!
Now, listen up! She then says, “Have you anyone who has passed over?” well, I was thinking and then she adds, “A mother, a father, a brother or sister, a cousin, and aunt or uncle…?”
Well, some of those very relatives had died! How did she know? – So I says, “My mother, God rest her soul, gone in her 93rd year.”
This woman, as if she knew all about me and my kin, then says, “She was old but she is happy now with Jesus.” This is all true! Then she says,
“I have a message from your mother; she says that she is pleased you are living in Freehold.”
Rodimer, explain that if you can! She knew I was from Freehold! I don’t know what you make of it, but there’s something strange here! It’s in your parish and you should do something about it.
The evening carried on and more remarkable revelations were made to other members of the audience, especially to a young girl who looked remarkably like the woman on the stage.
Now to the point, Nephew Zebulun took me to Mission Hall. I now see that your talk was at “Missionary Hall” I think that is most confusing!
Nevertheless, my apologies again, I will do my utmost to attend your next talk, “The Iniquities of Young Men Illustrated.”
YIC
Bathfire E.
PS, Rodimer might not be around for a day or two, if anyone out there has any ideas about this, let me know.
North Salem,
Indiana
Dear Rev. Rodimer,
My apologies for my failing to appear for your talk on “The Iniquities of Young Women Illustrated”. Despite my best efforts things went against me.
Nephew Zebulun was to be my driver as “Boy,” my faithful retainer, was still suffering the after effects of Bobby-Joe’s visit.
We left in good time for the trip and I soon started to doze in the rear. I awoke to find myself alone in the car which was parked outside “The Pink Monkey” in South Clinton St., Chicago. Nephew Zebulun arrived back looking quite flushed some 2 hours later. Apparently, he has taken to Polish culture and there’s some Pole Dancing going on. I must say I was a bit disappointed but we got underway and turned south onto the I65.
Anyway, we arrived at Mission Hall, North Salem with minutes to spare. There were only 2 seats left and they were in the middle of a row right at the front, just a few feet from the stage. We sat down to enjoy the talk but I was somewhat disturbed to see some woman come on.
The lights went down and she calls out, “Is there anyone there?” (Damn stupid question, the place was full!) Anyhoo, she repeats this a few times and then says,
“Is there anyone with the letter “B” in his surname?”
I thought she might be some friend of yours, so I said, “Here! I’m Bathfire from Freehold.”
Then she said, “I knew that.”
How in the name of all that’s Holy could she have known! I was intrigued!
Then things got even more amazing, she says, “What’s your Christian name?”
Well, at this, Nephew Zebulun says, “Don’t tell her, Unky Ezekiel, she’s supposed to know.” And I didn’t but – and how can anyone explain this? – She says, (and I tell you this as God is my Witness) “Is it Ezekiel”. If it hadn’t been for the fat woman next to me, I’d have fallen on the floor!
Now, listen up! She then says, “Have you anyone who has passed over?” well, I was thinking and then she adds, “A mother, a father, a brother or sister, a cousin, and aunt or uncle…?”
Well, some of those very relatives had died! How did she know? – So I says, “My mother, God rest her soul, gone in her 93rd year.”
This woman, as if she knew all about me and my kin, then says, “She was old but she is happy now with Jesus.” This is all true! Then she says,
“I have a message from your mother; she says that she is pleased you are living in Freehold.”
Rodimer, explain that if you can! She knew I was from Freehold! I don’t know what you make of it, but there’s something strange here! It’s in your parish and you should do something about it.
The evening carried on and more remarkable revelations were made to other members of the audience, especially to a young girl who looked remarkably like the woman on the stage.
Now to the point, Nephew Zebulun took me to Mission Hall. I now see that your talk was at “Missionary Hall” I think that is most confusing!
Nevertheless, my apologies again, I will do my utmost to attend your next talk, “The Iniquities of Young Men Illustrated.”
YIC
Bathfire E.
PS, Rodimer might not be around for a day or two, if anyone out there has any ideas about this, let me know.
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