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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22901

    #1

    Prayer - Give God a Break!

    There are 2.1 Billion Christians in the world. Say one in 100 sends a prayer to God each day; that’s 210 Million prayers a day.

    If a prayer lasts about 1 minute, that’s going to take 12,600,000,000 seconds in total.

    There are 86,400 seconds in a day

    So that’s 145,833 prayers a second 24/7 year in, year out and this isn’t going to get any better as time goes on and the world population increases.

    Can we have a bit of consideration for God? He is extremely busy running the Universe. He wants to care for you, but you are not helping with your whining about things that He has already under control.

    He knows everything and therefore He knows about the starving in Africa; the warring parties in the Middle East, your sick aunt Sarah and the fact you've been sacked from Wal-Mart, so don't bother repeating it.

    Can I ask that True Christians™ (i) restrict their prayers to urgent cases, e.g. the removal, in disgrace, of Obama or the imminent death of a Pastor and (ii) that pastors aggregate the congregation’s prayers into one large but concise prayer?


    Thank you in advance.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
  • Pastor Isaac Peters
    Senior Pastor
    Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
    Always Biblically correct
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 10639

    #2
    Re: Prayer - Give God a Break!

    Our Lord told us how to pray and also how not to pray:

    Matt. 6:5-8: And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites [are]: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen [do]: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

    False Christians who love the sounds of their own voices bore Jesus (and us). Also, as for "vain repetitions," does that sound at all familiar to the bead-counting Romanists?
    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

    Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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    • Ezekiel Bathfire
      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
      Christ's Rottweiler
       
      • Jan 2008
      • 22901

      #3
      Re: Prayer - Give God a Break!

      Hear! Hear! If you can't pray it in 10 seconds, it's probably not worth praying!
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment

      • Brother Enoch
        The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2008
        • 4392

        #4
        Re: Prayer - Give God a Break!

        I'm throwing out those beads right now! Don't know why I was hanging on to them anyway. Just because something has been in your family for 8 generations is no reason to keep it if it's abhorrent to God.

        Get thee out of my sight, beads!

        There, flushed.

        Comment

        • Ezekiel Bathfire
          Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
          Christ's Rottweiler
           
          • Jan 2008
          • 22901

          #5
          Re: Prayer - Give God a Break!

          Praise The Lord! I Need an AMEN here!
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • Pastor Isaac Peters
            Senior Pastor
            Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
            Always Biblically correct
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 10639

            #6
            Re: Prayer - Give God a Break!

            AMEN!
            This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

            Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

            sigpic

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556

              #7
              Re: Prayer - Give God a Break!

              Shout GLORY!!!
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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