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Friends, I am pleased to report that the Lord has truly blessed me today. My cold, lonely trek through this veil of tears has been made considerably easier - I now own my very own semi-human Slav. Since her real name is some unpronounceable Polack gibberish, I have now rechristened her Condi, it seems like a good sort of name for a house servant.
Condi's story starts at some point during the mid-1980s, in a small village in Communist Poland. She was continuously molested by the local Catholic Priest until the age of 9, at which point one of the villagers finally sobered up enough to notice that she was, in fact, female. Since it is considered a great disgrace for a papist priest to engage in any kind of heterosexual behaviour, this caused a huge scandal, and she was exiled to the West. Upon arriving in the UK, she chose the traditional career path of Polack women, and became an alcoholic prostitute. She continued in this sinful lifestyle until last week or so, when after a particularly crazed vodka binge, she was found curled up unconscious beneath one of the pews in our local church. While a majority of the congregation argued for putting the sub-Russian creature in a sack and tossing it into a river, I, with the True Christian™ love and compassion for which I am known, argued for taking it in, and teaching it to perform housework. Of course, she will not be paid in actual money, that would be absurd, but I will pay her in a far more valuable currency - being educated about the Holy KJV1611! Praise Jesus!
Condi's story starts at some point during the mid-1980s, in a small village in Communist Poland. She was continuously molested by the local Catholic Priest until the age of 9, at which point one of the villagers finally sobered up enough to notice that she was, in fact, female. Since it is considered a great disgrace for a papist priest to engage in any kind of heterosexual behaviour, this caused a huge scandal, and she was exiled to the West. Upon arriving in the UK, she chose the traditional career path of Polack women, and became an alcoholic prostitute. She continued in this sinful lifestyle until last week or so, when after a particularly crazed vodka binge, she was found curled up unconscious beneath one of the pews in our local church. While a majority of the congregation argued for putting the sub-Russian creature in a sack and tossing it into a river, I, with the True Christian™ love and compassion for which I am known, argued for taking it in, and teaching it to perform housework. Of course, she will not be paid in actual money, that would be absurd, but I will pay her in a far more valuable currency - being educated about the Holy KJV1611! Praise Jesus!
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