[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

I knew something was wrong as soon as I woke up on March 5th and Bernadette's biscuits still tasted like garbage and my gay son Elijah was still in the house and not in Hell.

[HellboundGreaser]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

This end of the world ain't so bad. The Liquor store has 12 pak's of Rolling Rock's marked down to $7.99!

[True Disciple]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

This end of the world ain't so bad. The Liquor store has 12 pak's of Rolling Rock's marked down to $7.99!

Don't you know your body is supposed to be a Temple of the Holy Spirit:

1 Corinthians 6:19:
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Alcohol kills!

Unless you are under the supervision of a True Christian(tm) Pastor, of course.

[Raventard]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

I apologize Reverend. I have been careless knowing that the time is finally AT HAND!

hay man i love that cool picture man its great

[Free Market Fred]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Didn't you get someone to back up your mathematical calculations? considering new calculations were developed and examined for this, it's always wise to seek the views of another mathematician or in your case, a Christian, to clarify any missed numbers and/or details.

Actually, Brother Heathen used the mathematicians I introduced him to. The same group of mathematical geniuses who invented quants that did so much for stock prices in 2008. They proved that mortgage-backed securities, synthetic collateralized debt obligations, and credit default swaps would cause the economy to boom forever.


Home-schooled mathematician

Surely, these mathematicians could never be wrong. Of course, a little computer glitch, and the whole model collapses. Well, that's what bailouts are for. Brother Heathen, I suggest that you contact your Republican senator - Armageddon is too big to fail.

[Raventard]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Don't you know your body is supposed to be a Temple of the Holy Spirit:

1 Corinthians 6:19:
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Alcohol kills!

Unless you are under the supervision of a True Christian(tm) Pastor, of course.

please you hog of a dog bring judgment on Iceland right now man snap to it fool

[Meek and Humble]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

But Mrs. Rogers, how can they be Saved™ if they haven't accepted Jesus yet?

Won't all the pre-born babies, and even young children, be condemned to hellfire for not comprehending and accepting Jesus' great Gift of Forgiveness?

Wait a minute, all this was based on some "poet" (a euphemism for "pansy" if ever I heard one) trying to do math?

My congregation got all worked up, sold their homes and donated several million dollars to the church, all because you got lost without rhyming and couldn't remember to carry the two?

I bet you're one of those cyberterrorists, trying to make Christians look foolish! Pastor Ezekiel, has this person been thoroughly investigated?

Pssst . . . Thanks. The church will finally be getting that new roof it so desperately needed, and the sauna, and steam room, and exercise room, and massage table . . .You should come for a visit and check it all out!

This is outrageous! Everything has happened exactly as I said.

However, it may have seemed to some as though that path has not always gone straight forward. At times explanations given have shown adjustments, seemingly to previous points of view. But this has not actually been the case. This might be compared to what is known in navigational circles as 'tacking.' By maneuvering the sails the sailors can cause a ship to go from right to left, back and forth, but all the time making progress toward their destination in spite of contrary winds.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

My congregation got all worked up, sold their homes and donated several million dollars to the church, all because you got lost without rhyming and couldn't remember to carry the two?

Uh huh. And you're complaining about this like it's some kind of problem? Pocket the cash and count your blessings. As PT Barnum used to say, "There's a sucker born every minute."

Let me give you some valuable financial advice: now is the time for what we in the grifting community call the "reload." This is where you con the same victims a second time using the exact same swindle. You'd be surprised at just how easy this can be! That's because people who have been taken to the cleaners are desperate to win back the money they just lost.


Bridge for sale

In your case, you can tell your congregation that the only reason they didn't get Raptured is that the Lord wasn't pleased with their "stingy" donations. God will not be mocked! Thus, if they don't want to burn in Hell, your congregation not only needs to donate everything they've got to the church, but they should max out their credit cards and sign up for payday loans too. The reward for doing so will be a special place in Heaven, right next to God. Maybe you can borrow a leaf from the Muslims, with that "72 virgins" scam - gosh, if I thought it was true, I'd be throwing money at you!

Good luck, Rev. Rodimer. If you pull this one off, I'll be seeing you in Cambodia - it's one Hell of a place to retire! I can introduce you to a few Cambodian chicks - I know several who are just dying to meet you! Of course, if you're into boys, that can be arranged too - anything is possible if you've got the loot!

[Raven.]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Actually, Brother Heathen used the mathematicians I introduced him to. The same group of mathematical geniuses who invented quants that did so much for stock prices in 2008. They proved that mortgage-backed securities, synthetic collateralized debt obligations, and credit default swaps would cause the economy to boom forever.


Home-schooled mathematician

Surely, these mathematicians could never be wrong. Of course, a little computer glitch, and the whole model collapses. Well, that's what bailouts are for. Brother Heathen, I suggest that you contact your Republican senator - Armageddon is too big to fail.

mmm, i doubt they would ever make a mistake would they...

Raven

[Meek and Humble]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Of course we must understand, the symbols of the Bible are difficult to understand. Supposedly, the world should end within this generation - but then again, maybe it only means any generation in the future who knows and understands the current events. It could happen a thousand years from now. The point is - the Bible is right!

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

To be honest, I'm a bit disappointed that the world didn't end. I was looking forward to being carted off to Heaven and being able to watch the tortured souls burn in agony for my amusement.

[Mike Gerrard]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

To be honest, I'm a bit disappointed that the world didn't end. I was looking forward to being carted off to Heaven and being able to watch the tortured souls burn in agony for my amusement.

Im not even gonna ask about the 100 dollars. Reading your reactions was all I really needed.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Im not even gonna ask about the 100 dollars. Reading your reactions was all I really needed.

What are you talking about? Everything happened just as I said it would.

Are you retarded?

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Im not even gonna ask about the 100 dollars. Reading your reactions was all I really needed.

I agree with you! If I hadn't been in such trouble right now, I would still be crying with laughter!

[True Disciple]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Im not even gonna ask about the 100 dollars. Reading your reactions was all I really needed.

I think it's time again to tell these rambling heathens why the rapture didn't happen yet.

You see, God is infinitely merciful, the only way for us not to have our sins forgiven by Jesus is by actively denying him, which you only can do by either being anything else than a True Christian™, or denying the Holy Ghost.

So, I would like to show you what happened when God was determined to bring ruin over the heathen city of Nineveh:

Jonah 3:1-10:
And the word of the LORD came unto Jonah the second time, saying, Arise, go unto Nineveh, that great city, and preach unto it the preaching that I bid thee.
So Jonah arose, and went unto Nineveh, according to the word of the LORD. Now Nineveh was an exceeding great city of three days' journey.
And Jonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown.
So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them.
For word came unto the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, and he laid his robe from him, and covered him with sackcloth, and sat in ashes.
And he caused it to be proclaimed and published through Nineveh by the decree of the king and his nobles, saying, Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste any thing: let them not feed, nor drink water:
But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God: yea, let them turn every one from his evil way, and from the violence that is in their hands.
Who can tell if God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not?
And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not.

You see, my God-mocking friend? When the people of Nineveh repented, God repented of the evil he was planning to do unto them, and he did it not.

It is very likely that something similar happened nine days ago. Apparently, many people in the world fasted, prayed unto God and repented after they heard Brother Basher's Godly Prophecies, and it is their repentance, and God's mercy, that has saved your life!

Instead of coming here and mocking God and his Faithful True Christian™ Servants further, you would do better to be very thankful that God gave you this extra chance to accept his Love and attain Salvation™, and take an example to the people on this earth whose repentance and prayers saved the world from the tribulation. If you keep denying God and rejecting His Love, He might change His Mind again, and the blood of the countless millions of people that will die then will be on your hands!