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  • thor not
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Mar 2010
    • 26
    #1

    Mission Iceland

    I want to make it clear that God came to me in a dream and told me to educate the people in Iceland in the teachings of KJV1611.
    So I will take it upon myself to open the eyes of my heathen countrymen for only 24.99$ a piece.
    Romans 8:6

    6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.
    Tags: None
    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22373
      #2
      Re: Mission Iceland

      Originally posted by thor not View Post
      I want to make it clear that God came to me in a dream and told me to educate the people in Iceland in the teachings of KJV1611. So I will take it upon myself to open the eyes of my heathen countrymen for only 24.99$ a piece.
      That sounds like a great plan!
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556
          #3
          Re: Mission Iceland

          Originally posted by thor not View Post
          I want to make it clear that God came to me in a dream and told me to educate the people in Iceland in the teachings of KJV1611.
          So I will take it upon myself to open the eyes of my heathen countrymen for only 24.99$ a piece.
          That must be a fortune up in eskimo land. Down here in God's favorite country that kind of Salvation runs a lot higher.

          Do they pay you in shells and carved walrus tusks?
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • True Disciple
              True Christian™ Creation Scientist
              Landover Baptist University Associate Professor
              Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2009
              • 2445
              #4
              Re: Mission Iceland

              Originally posted by thor not View Post
              I want to make it clear that God came to me in a dream and told me to educate the people in Iceland in the teachings of KJV1611.
              So I will take it upon myself to open the eyes of my heathen countrymen for only 24.99$ a piece.
              Wow, I wish you success, Brother!
              As those people haven't invented paper yet, and are unable to get to raw materials to make it anyway, I believe they communicate by carving symbols into ice walls, don't they?
              Cryoglyphs, I believe these are called. How long do you take to print an entire 1611 KJV on an ice wall in eskimo cryoglyphs?
              Sweet Lord Jesus,
              I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
              Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
              Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
              Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
              Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
              Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
              Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

              Amen.

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