[Bobby-Joe]

Re: My Neighboors

Hmmm. I think I'm a bit claustrophobic so this closet thing is.... The first/last time I prayed (7 minutes ago) was in a room with no cameras and only myself in it. Will this please Jesus?

Friend,

Jesus says closet He means closet. You have to be in a closet to be a good TRUE Christians(tm).

[Rain]

Re: My Neighboors

Well that is the advantage of living in a Godly gated Christian community. If it wasn't for that court order (or what ever they call it over there) Brother Temperance is under I would suggest you two consider starting one in England.

Just think of all the Catlicks we might be able to Save from the clutches of that goddamn skirt wearing 'pope'!!!
It sounds like a wonderful idea, I can't wait until He decides to finally do away with our wretched, Hell slidden government and we can finally do His work properly as He commanded!!

~Rain

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: My Neighboors

Just think of all the Catlicks we might be able to Save from the clutches of that goddamn skirt wearing 'pope'!!!
It sounds like a wonderful idea, I can't wait until He decides to finally do away with our wretched, Hell slidden government and we can finally do His work properly as He commanded!!

~Rain

Yes, FREEDOM® needs to come to England I can see. I had no idea it was so bad over there until Brother Temperance told me how he has been persecuted and accused of the most horrible things for his work to bring Christ to Catlicker children. The jackbooted heel of Lieberlism stands firmly on the neck of the English TRUE believers® and Jesus weeps. It is a breach threw which Mudslime terrorist pour to attack America and FREEDOM®. I pray our president sees fit to do the right thing with England.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: My Neighboors

Yes, FREEDOM® needs to come to England I can see. I had no idea it was so bad over there until Brother Temperance told me how he has been persecuted and accused of the most horrible things for his work to bring Christ to Catlicker children. The jackbooted heel of Lieberlism stands firmly on the neck of the English TRUE believers® and Jesus weeps. It is a breach threw which Mudslime terrorist pour to attack America and FREEDOM®. I pray our president sees fit to do the right thing with England.

The situation's getting ridiculous. Condi's quite short, so I've tried persuading her to dress up in a Catholic schoolgirl outfit so I can pretend to be dropping her off at school, and thus have a legitimate reason to hang around the Catlick school gates, shoving Jack Chick tracts down the blouses of passing Mary-Worshipper schoolgirls, but the damned uppity Slav just won't listen to reason.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My Neighboors

You servants are your own business Brother T, but in my view I wouldn't let your slav anywhere near a catlicker institution. She could revert like those dogs who go wild and turn on their masters suddenly. Not to mention the lezbean nuns could go berserk and attempt to kidnap her.

I'd have her handing out THESE Chick Tracts in front of a Jehovy Witless synagouge.

[Student of Landover]

Re: My Neighboors

I pray that a community like the one in Landover is set up in Australia, so that I could become a part of it. Landover could start setting them up everywhere that TrueChristians are to make the people in that area see the light and tithe to Landover.

[Talitha]

Re: My Neighboors

I pray that a community like the one in Landover is set up in Australia, so that I could become a part of it. Landover could start setting them up everywhere that TrueChristians are to make the people in that area see the light and tithe to Landover.

There is no chance of that i'm afraid Brother SOV.
Freehold was chosen by God© himself when the Church of Landover was set up in 1612.
There is only one True Promised Land and that is Good Old USA.

Praise The Lord™

[MoonFlower]

Re: My Neighboors

Sometimes this Christian community can be a drag. Now my neighbors are freaking out because Moonflower is my cook now. I mean for the love of Jesus do they think I, of all people in Landover, am going to allow a serious menace into our community? Not clear it with the Pastor’s first? I mean didn’t Pastor Al famously say “There are only two men at Landover I trust with Moonflower; Born Again Bob and Bobby-Joe, and may Jesus help you two.”? Doesn’t that kind of trust count for nothing today?

First it is neighbor X to the north of my house; he tells me wife is complaining that Moonflower is dancing naked in my yard at night. So have to show him the records for the GPS tracking bracelet I put on Moonflower and the photage of my security camera for the yard that night. Heck, Moonflower doesn’t even have the security code to open the door to her room after 10:00pm! What kind of sloppy Christian household do they think I run???

No, X keeps on nattering about how Moonflower is inducing perverted thoughts into his wife. Well when I pointed out he might stop letting her watch Desperate House Wives she might be less tempted, or did X think the Church doesn’t monitor those kind of things? That shut him up.

Then neighbor Y comes up to me after Church last Sunday and claims Moonflower “eye raped” him. I ask him how in the heck did that happen, as far as I know the two of them never have meet. (and I checked the GPS tracking system mind you) He then tells me “she is using her wicker powers to see threw the walls” I told him, nonsense, Neighbor’s Z Mexican gardener is more her taste and I’ve caught her watching him. If she is looking through walls it is into tanned and muscular Juan’s room. Then Y goes to say “That she using her mind to make him molest his kids”. That was nice. Neighbor Y is relaxing under Pastoral supervision in Landover Rehab now.

Arrrrh Jesus does test me at times.

Why are people so mean and judgemental? I'm so sorry I've cause all this drama, BJ. At least you know what they're saying isn't true. I don't understand why they would think you'd let any of that go on in your house! I mean...c'mon...it's not like I'm working for some joe shmoe!

I'll confess, BJ, I've sneaked a few of looks at you, but deffinately not any of your hideously overweight neighbors. Juan is somewhat pleasing to eyes...but I perfer sneaking peaks at you.

Moon

PS - Is there anything you'd like me to do to prevent these losers from continuing to question you?? Remember, I work for you so you name it and I'll be happy to comply with your every command.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: My Neighboors

Why are people so mean and judgemental? I'm so sorry I've cause all this drama, BJ. At least you know what they're saying isn't true. I don't understand why they would think you'd let any of that go on in your house! I mean...c'mon...it's not like I'm working for some joe shmoe!

Oh you don't need to be sorry to me Moonflower. Jesus Godly Forgiveness® is all anyone really needs.

I'll confess, BJ, I've sneaked a few of looks at you, but deffinately not any of your hideously overweight neighbors. Juan is somewhat pleasing to eyes...but I perfer sneaking peaks at you.

Moon

Now Moonflower those fine people are just big boned, like a healthy TRUE Christian™ should be. It is good Moonflower that you see and are attracted to the modest virtue Jesus has bestowed in me.

PS - Is there anything you'd like me to do to prevent these losers from continuing to question you?? Remember, I work for you so you name it and I'll be happy to comply with your every command.

So far the Pastors have yet to tell me that I have any complaints with you. Just keep on trying to walk the strait and narrow and I am sure it will turn out in the end.

[Talitha]

Re: My Neighboors

So, harlot!
I see you're back trying to pester Bobby-Joe now your faggit Boyfriend has left you alone.

Just get back on your Broomstick or Harley or whatever it is you ride and leave our Chief of Homeland Security to REAL Women.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: My Neighboors

So, harlot!
I see you're back trying to pester Bobby-Joe now your faggit Boyfriend has left you alone.

Just get back on your Broomstick or Harley or whatever it is you ride and leave our Chief of Homeland Security to REAL Women.

Ladies, Ladies please. I am sure Jesus will grant me the strength to help you both with your needs. We do not want this to spill over into Christian Woman's Wrestling at Church this Friday.

[Talitha]

Re: My Neighboors

Ladies, Ladies please. I am sure Jesus will grant me the strength to help you both with your needs. We do not want this to spill over into Christian Woman's Wrestling at Church this Friday.

Well, One and half minutes for Moon is going to be an improvement.
I hear that FAGGIT Boyfriend she just dumped only had to look at her knees before spilling his Seed.

The problem with Wiccan Wrestling, BJ is that you never know what Demon they are going to urn into next.

[Hushed_Agony]

Re: My Neighboors

Bobby-Joe,

I am going off topic, but during my years of sinnin' before finding our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I was apart of a "Black Ops" group that dealt with certain "people of interest" like your uh...neighbors. Being Landover's Security Supervisor, what is needed to become a part of the security force? I know I am a new face here, but I will wait as long as needed. But one day I would, with your permission of course, to become one of the force. To protect the Landover way and keep the scum of Satan smacked down where they belong.

Samuel 22:3
The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.


Psalm 144:2
My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust; who subdueth my people under me.

YIC
Hushed

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: My Neighboors

Bobby-Joe,

I am going off topic, but during my years of sinnin' before finding our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I was apart of a "Black Ops" group that dealt with certain "people of interest" like your uh...neighbors. Being Landover's Security Supervisor, what is needed to become a part of the security force? I know I am a new face here, but I will wait as long as needed. But one day I would, with your permission of course, to become one of the force. To protect the Landover way and keep the scum of Satan smacked down where they belong.


YIC
Hushed

Well Brother Hushed you can apply at the Church Pastoral Security office, well are always looking for good candidates. But remember not just anyone is fit to were these robes Hushed; when that wicker Goth is running at a Pastor with a knife you have to be the one to take the blade if he can't be stopped. The Landover Pastor's are too important to allow Satan to get away with his vile tricks on them. That means listening to Jesus at all times and seeing The TRUTH™ of the matter. That means knowing better than listing to wicked stories of Pastors running children sex slave rings for the GOP, or Pastor Zeke keeping a bear tied up in his basement for unnatural purposes. Disgusting trash like that means nothing to a Landover Security Officer when Jesus is guiding him. Are you able to do that Hushed?

Then there is the unsaved; we Jesus’ work needs to be done their can be no moral temporizing from you. The wicked can not be allowed to undermine the virtuous. There are things that need to be done that the foolish might see two sides two. But Jesus side is the only one that counts Hushed. A Landover Security officer is a hammer and he doesn’t need to empathize with any sinful disgusting nails.

The Lord’s work must goes on. Jesus assigns these tasks like the great CEO in the sky He is to our Pastors and they tell us what need to be done. This is critically important stuff, that means Hushed you better willing to say jump when a Pastor says frog. If a Pastor wants you to be in a pink frilly sun dress, you better damn well be shaking your money maker and not quoting Leviticus at him. If the Pastors want you in a French Maids costume serving tea, if better be how many sugar lumps Pastor. If they want us dressed like Los Vegas show girls, Jesus better see your legs shaved. Got that Hushed?

If you can say YES SIR! PRAISE JESUS YES! Then we may have a place for you Hushed.


BTW My nieghboors are TRUE Christian and do not need to be liquidated.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: My Neighboors

Well, One and half minutes for Moon is going to be an improvement.

Excellent. I am sure once the Godly strict, impatient blondeness of you Sister Talitha stand triumphant over the wicker curvy brunetteness of Moonflower the Heavens will rejoice and we TRUE Christians™ will feel our passion for Jesus rise!

[I hear that FAGGIT Boyfriend she just dumped only had to look at her knees before spilling his Seed.

Moonflower flaunting her knees! Oh dear. Punishment may be in order.

[The problem with Wiccan Wrestling, BJ is that you never know what Demon they are going to urn into next.

I am sure that won't happen with Moonflower. Pastor Al, her once removed Grandfather, poor, gentle heart would break and she would never do that. Remember the power of Christ will protect you Sister Talitha as you grapple with her!