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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552
    #151
    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

    Bad news, Brothers; I've heard from my fiancee Sister Daisy (aka Bible Thumping Blonde) and she's apparently alive () and she's gotten wind of this stoning fad sweeping Freehold, and she tells me that she refuses to throw any stones under $1,000 a piece. She wants to throw DIAMONDS for crying out loud!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Jo Freddie
        Unsaved trash
        Hateful God mocking pirate
        • Apr 2009
        • 6339
        #152
        Re: Have You started collecting stones?

        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
        Bad news, Brothers; I've heard from my fiancee Sister Daisy (aka Bible Thumping Blonde) and she's apparently alive () and she's gotten wind of this stoning fad sweeping Freehold, and she tells me that she refuses to throw any stones under $1,000 a piece. She wants to throw DIAMONDS for crying out loud!
        A $1000 Diamond thrown just right could, maybe, with luck, take an eye out.

        (does she know about your naked pictures on facebook ?)
        Posted via Pasta

        True Pastafarian™

        May my Sauce be with you!
        Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
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        North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
        I have been to The Volcano!

          Comment

          • James Dewitt
            #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
            • Jan 2010
            • 6267
            #153
            Re: Have You started collecting stones?

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Bad news, Brothers; I've heard from my fiancee Sister Daisy (aka Bible Thumping Blonde) and she's apparently alive () and she's gotten wind of this stoning fad sweeping Freehold, and she tells me that she refuses to throw any stones under $1,000 a piece. She wants to throw DIAMONDS for crying out loud!
            Diamonds, they aren't very big. I have actual stones from Mt Sinai worth far more that $1000 a piece. Widow Sharon deeded her farm to LBC for 20 lbs. Why throw a little diamond when you can throw a stone that Moses walked on? Maybe the three of us could work out a deal, Sister Daisy does have make a great pie

              Comment

              • Dirk
                True Christian™
                • Apr 2010
                • 1425
                #154
                Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                There will be a pie stand at the festival!

                  Comment

                  • BelieverInGod
                    Fourm Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 9269
                    #155
                    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Bad news, Brothers; I've heard from my fiancee Sister Daisy (aka Bible Thumping Blonde) and she's apparently alive () and she's gotten wind of this stoning fad sweeping Freehold, and she tells me that she refuses to throw any stones under $1,000 a piece. She wants to throw DIAMONDS for crying out loud!
                    If she's going to throw diamonds, can I be her victim? I only have one 1 Carat and that's in my wedding ring.
                    Drama queen

                      Comment

                      • James Dewitt
                        #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                        • Jan 2010
                        • 6267
                        #156
                        Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                        Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                        If she's going to throw diamonds, can I be her victim? I only have one 1 Carat and that's in my wedding ring.
                        Sister BIG I thought you where above earthly trappings like precious stones. Is the Love of Jesus lees important to you than a shiny bobble? Fore shame Sister fore shame. I will pray for you. May Jesus fill your sole with His love and may He guide you to Salvation.

                          Comment

                          • BelieverInGod
                            Fourm Member
                            Forum Member
                            • Feb 2010
                            • 9269
                            #157
                            Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                            Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                            Sister BIG I thought you where above earthly trappings like precious stones. Is the Love of Jesus lees important to you than a shiny bobble? Fore shame Sister fore shame. I will pray for you. May Jesus fill your sole with His love and may He guide you to Salvation.
                            You are correct Brother but you know how us women get around shiny stuff, we're worse than crows.

                            Completely off topic, but since Seth hasn't called me, how are things going? I really do have to get down there on one of his visits. I haven't even seen the house plans yet!
                            Drama queen

                              Comment

                              • Sister Charli
                                True Christian™
                                True Christian™
                                • Jun 2010
                                • 1590
                                #158
                                Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                                If she's going to throw diamonds, can I be her victim? I only have one 1 Carat and that's in my wedding ring.
                                I recently added Vance and Hines pipes to the Harley.


                                Bling is bling is bling.
                                2 Chronicles 7:14
                                14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

                                  Comment

                                  • Mistress Cookie
                                    Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Jul 2008
                                    • 6790
                                    #159
                                    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                    Originally posted by Dirk View Post
                                    There will be a pie stand at the festival!
                                    I wonder if we should do a themed buffet, with all the food made to resemble stones and rocks?

                                    There could be round plum puddings, big cheese balls rolled in crushed walnuts, pate and meatloaf shaped like bricks, "butter boulders", etc.

                                    Discuss ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

                                      Comment

                                      • Brother Barnabus
                                        True Christian™
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Apr 2010
                                        • 388
                                        #160
                                        Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                        Bad news, Brothers; I've heard from my fiancee Sister Daisy (aka Bible Thumping Blonde) and she's apparently alive () and she's gotten wind of this stoning fad sweeping Freehold, and she tells me that she refuses to throw any stones under $1,000 a piece. She wants to throw DIAMONDS for crying out loud!
                                        Sounds like I'll have to double my tithes...... Sounds High Maintenance to me Rev. I guess top quality pie doesn't come cheap.
                                        Nahum 1:2

                                        God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.


                                        If God is Love ... Who created Hell??!!

                                          Comment

                                          • Phebe Carlyle
                                            GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                                            Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                                            True Christian™
                                            • May 2010
                                            • 2604
                                            #161
                                            Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                            Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                                            I wonder if we should do a themed buffet, with all the food made to resemble stones and rocks?

                                            There could be round plum puddings, big cheese balls rolled in crushed walnuts, pate and meatloaf shaped like bricks, "butter boulders", etc.

                                            Discuss ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
                                            Oh Mistress Cookie!

                                            I have a WONDERFUL recipe for Rock Cakes, which would make for a perfect addition to your fabulous idea!

                                            Oh... gosh.. we could even make some lovely fondant designs (to resemble stoning buckets) and fill them with rock candy, or even ... rocky road!

                                            YIC,

                                            Mrs.P.Wintersnow




                                            There's Jesus here,
                                            Just see what He offers me....
                                            Down here my sins forgiven,
                                            Up there a home in heaven
                                            Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                                              Comment

                                              • Benedict A. Davis
                                                Winning Souls in his Winnebago
                                                True Christian™
                                                • May 2010
                                                • 3900
                                                #162
                                                Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                                Originally posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow View Post
                                                Oh Mistress Cookie!

                                                I have a WONDERFUL recipe for Rock Cakes, which would make for a perfect addition to your fabulous idea!

                                                Oh... gosh.. we could even make some lovely fondant designs (to resemble stoning buckets) and fill them with rock candy, or even ... rocky road!

                                                YIC,

                                                Mrs.P.Wintersnow
                                                Old fashioned licorice toffee looks like lumps of coal.
                                                sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                                                Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                                                Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                                                Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • James Dewitt
                                                    #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                                                    • Jan 2010
                                                    • 6267
                                                    #163
                                                    Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                                    Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                                                    You are correct Brother but you know how us women get around shiny stuff, we're worse than crows.

                                                    Completely off topic, but since Seth hasn't called me, how are things going? I really do have to get down there on one of his visits. I haven't even seen the house plans yet!
                                                    I thought you where with him yesterday, I wonder who... never mind. I guess the house is coming along , foundation is done and the lumber trucks are coming every day.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Phebe Carlyle
                                                        GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler
                                                        Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • May 2010
                                                        • 2604
                                                        #164
                                                        Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                                        Originally posted by aim for heaven View Post
                                                        Old fashioned licorice toffee looks like lumps of coal.

                                                        Yes Brother it does! However I am yet to find a good recipe for it so that I can make it from scratch. Perhaps your good wife has one in her fount of recipes she would be willing to share, or perhaps better, make some herself?

                                                        Speaking of your wife, I have not seen her around at all lately, or at least since the last fishing trip you were on.. is all well?

                                                        YIC,

                                                        Mrs.P.Wintersnow.




                                                        There's Jesus here,
                                                        Just see what He offers me....
                                                        Down here my sins forgiven,
                                                        Up there a home in heaven
                                                        Praise God, That's the way for me!!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • lilith
                                                            Night Hag
                                                            • Sep 2006
                                                            • 1232
                                                            #165
                                                            Re: Have You started collecting stones?

                                                            Originally posted by Dirk View Post
                                                            As you may all know I am a big fan of stones. I have quit a collection back in the States (I will be back in the States soon, glory!) and am willing to show them to brother James. May I remind you to the following:

                                                            Freehold Summer Stoning Festival
                                                            It's an upcoming event that has been away for 5 years, but has returned to Freehold! Me and brother James are organising this festival. I did my share back here with the promotion, making my land available for the fest (You all know I own quit some land in Freehold) and arranging a few things.



                                                            Oh yes,I remember your stonings well...

                                                            I love a good stoning.
                                                            In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                                                              Comment

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