Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

[Pastor Ezekiel]

THIS is an outrage to Jesus and offensive to True Christians™ everywhere. It seems that a wheelchair-bound spaz who fancies itself a comedian is attempting to win it's own TV show, produced by the notorious new age cult guru, Oprah Winfrey. Leave it to the ultra liberals like her to tease a retarded like that. God hates them!

Anyway, apparently there is a website where you can vote for the gimp to have its TV show HERE. I am calling on all right-minded Christians to vote AGAINST giving any cripple it's own TV show! God hates 'em, and they give me the heebie-jeebies.

Here's a sample of it's work.

Let's be honest; the only reason he's funny is because he's a retarded. He reminds me of that chink kid we had here in Freehold last Summer with that traveling sideshow.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

I have to admit, they are great comedians. I look at them and can't stop laughing.

If people don't think cripples and retardeds are punishments from God laid down on their parents, then I'd like them to explain why I've never once seen a gimp on the streets of Freehold!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

Guys like that just piss me off.

I am sitting at a light. They slowly cross the street like a snail leaving a gooey slime trail. The light turns green for me and these selfish bastards are only half way through the crosswalk. I have to then determine if their reduced height will clear the undercarriage of my truck or is there a chance that he will get snagged and be dragged, ruining my fuel economy.

That Zach fellow needs to get off his ass and get a real job.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

I wonder how long these cowards will keep playing along with that retard, letting him believe he has equal status with other human beings. Eventually they are going to have to tell him the truth, that he only exists as a way for God to punish the people around him. If he keeps trying to achieve beyond his retardedness, that will just anger God, causing Him to smite the retard with an even more annoying condition, like Bi-Polar disorder. Can you imagine a manic retard scrambling around on the floor, thinking he is a regular person? What can you do with that sort of mess, but tie him up and gag him. Instead of putting this retard on television for everyone to laugh at, they should keep him at home, where he will just be a burden to his immediate relatives, like God intended.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

No use trying to find out if he goes to a God fearing Church, What real Church would let that spastic cripple through their doors? I know he wouldn't be allowed in the parking lot at Landover Baptist Church.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

No use trying to find out if he goes to a God fearing Church, What real Church would let that spastic cripple through their doors? I know he wouldn't be allowed in the parking lot at Landover Baptist Church.

As you know, we have a "no ramps" policy at Landover Baptist Church.

I really just wish that those gimps would do the decent thing and stay out of sight. That's what they used to do before the joos started pimping them for special rights.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

I was waiting for him to break dance.

Now THAT would be funny.

[Jedediah]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

The Holy Bible clearly tells us that retardeds are repulsive in the Eyes of God. Even those in the lineage of Aaron were not allowed to profane the House of the LORD with their unseemly presence.

Leviticus 21:16-24
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.
For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,
Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,
Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;
No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
He shall eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy.
Only he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the LORD do sanctify them.
And Moses told it unto Aaron, and to his sons, and unto all the children of Israel.

Our Creator cannot stand the site of hellbound retardeds and cripples! Why should we sit idly by as Oprah broadcasts this abomination into the homes of Christians across our Great Nation?

Genesis 1:27 tells us that we were created in the Image of God. However, retardeds are something entirely different - the children of hell itself! Since God is perfect, he would not create a retarded, crippled mongrel who is repulsive in His own Sight. Retardeds are obviously the spawn of demons! This is why women who have abortions are cursed with retarded babies when they finally decide it's "convenient" to have a baby. Abortion opens the womb to demonic possession, plain and simple.

So it's not so much that God hates people who are crippled and retarded; God makes people crippled and retarded because He hates them! They are not even human.

This is all part of the radical retarded agenda. With the help of the unmarried Ms. Winfrey, they are pushing for "acceptance" and "rights." This is a slippery slope, Brothers and Sisters. Next, they will come for our children. We can't let our guard down.

[Dirk]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

Why don't they cut off his legs?

[iampime.]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

Hey asshats, you are no christians. you are a disgrace to god and his son. Christian means Christ-like, and you say you are christlike? Yeah ok, obviously god hates cripples. Cripples have a purpose as well. Explain how a good parent gives birth to a crippled child? Are you guys fucking rednecks? I swear to god you're mental.

[iampime.]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

also, coming for our children? how high are you kids? I would shit brix if you guys ended up having retarded children.

also, sup /b/.
inb4b&
hey landoverbaptist, i notice you're using vB 3.8.5. I know about 10 security failures in this version. as soon as you ban me or any of my /b/rothers, you shall have gods fury delivered from man. lolderp

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

I bet all his jokes are as lame as he is.

[iampime.]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

Also, when you take literal meanings from the bible, there are many version with different words, and when you trust that 1 word, you may have the wrong translation. i understand that the king james bible is the most accurate version, so w/e. also, you guys are indeed extremists, and yes, i read the announcements about flaming and trolling and all of that other bullshit. but as I said, ban me or my /b/rothers and you shall lose your forums.

[EmmaW22]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

1 John 3:15
1 John 4:20

love, /b/

[iampime..]

Re: Cripple Comedian Auditions For Oprah

you fucked with /b/. now /b/ will fuck with you.

inb4raid.